Watching the World Through Distorted Filters

Anniversaries...

2011-11-27T12:04:00.000-07:00

Four years ago yesterday a surgical team specializing in 'head and neck' exorcised (love that word!) a demonic stage 4 squamous cell carcinoma from my right tonsil. They executed a mandibular swing to get at all the nasty bits and effect a clean neck dissection, removed a piece of the tongue, and all the lymph nodes. A 'forearm flap' technique was used to reconstruct the back of my throat and tongue, including the use of the radial artery from my left arm to replace the vascular plumbing affected by the tumour. And while they had everything disassembled, they moved salvia glands from the right quandrant to the lower left in an effort to protect them from the yet-to-be-administered radiation treatments. And today, four years on, I have so little to complain about that it just sounds like whining.

Okay, so I admit to wearing high collars, and loud ties to distract from the visible scarring, which is minimal. Vanity has me sporting a beard to hide what I consider to be the worst of them, not that I really need much of an excuse to keep my beard. Close examination of my neck shows what appears to be the beginnings of a goiter, but that just so happens to be where those salvia glands were tucked out of harm's way; my saliva is very good. No 'dry mouth syndrome' here. The autonomic responses of the tongue are not what they used to be; it doesn't effectively 'sweep' debris from my teeth as I eat. And because of that wee reduction in functionality of the tongue, and the somewhat tighter throat, I do need additional liquids to help flush things down the slightly constricted pipes. However, I can taste...really taste. And I can talk...something which I seem to do incessantly some days. As part of my work, I occasionally present a marathon 3 day seminar; my throat and voice haven't failed me yet. My teeth are in great shape; I sacrificed only one to the mandibular swing.

So when I read through my correspondance with other throat cancer survivors and try to comprehend what some went through, and are going through, I realize that I have nothing to complain about. Absolutely nothing.

I consider myself to be very fortunate. When this damned cancer and I had our collision, I was in the right place with the right specialists close at hand. Thanks to Doctor Williams and the surgical team who have chosen to work and do their research at the University of Alberta Hospital and the Cross Cancer Institute in Edmonton, Alberta.

And I am especially grateful to the woman I married who refused to let me ignore the symptoms...

Neglect turns into...

2011-08-25T10:43:00.000-06:00

Not sure how it happened, the actual cause, but I recently came down with a really ugly bout of 'thrush'...the oral equivalent of candidiasis. It was treated with a Nystatin suspension as a rinse (one of the important ingredients in Akabutu's Mouthwash), and seemed to go away after two weeks. I hadn't used the rinse for three days when I noticed last night that the coating on my tongue is back, and small clusters of the nefarious yeast have sprung up at the back of my throat.

Damn.

Ya, I know I've neglected this blog for 9 months now... I guess I owe some major updates, don't I? I'll get right on that... watch for new entries...

Three years since surgery, and feeling 'survivor's guilt'...

2010-11-29T16:38:00.000-07:00

Over the weekend..well, last Friday to be more precise, I hit the 3rd anniversary of my cancer surgery. Everything seems to be going well. Of course there are the usual bits and pieces that keep cropping up; some trouble swallowing, an unruly tongue, the slight bulge in my neck where the saliva glands were repositioned to, the white ‘flash’ on the other side of my neck that reminds me of the vascular rebuild (and possibly the cause of recent exertion headaches), the constant tightness in the right side shoulder muscles and the damned scars, too faint to be demonstrably outrageous, but not faint enough not to be slightly self conscious about. But on balance, I’m quite ecstatic with the results, and really have so little to complain about… So many who have gone through similar treatments I read of, or who I communicate with have not had the same success with the surgical option. Some lost more tissue, more bone. Some even lost their voice, the cancer silencing them. Me? Hell, I’m in fabulous shape.

I was subtly disappointed that I needed to remind my family of the date, but I didn’t push it because I find that I am a bit reluctant to celebrate the anniversary this time around. I suspect that I am suffering from ‘survivor’s guilt’. Perhaps it is about the survivors that I stay in touch with who aren’t doing quite so well. Perhaps it is because Larry Yachimec died from lung cancer just months ago. Michael Becker’s cancer has been deemed ‘terminal’, and no one really knows how long he will be with us. I am so fortunate to have walked away from the impact of this stage 4 carcinoma collision, but can’t bring myself to celebrate…

More on Akabutu's Mouthwash

2010-04-23T11:23:00.005-06:00

An anonymous reader of my blog has provided a few more details on the composition of Akabutu's Mouthwash:

For a 240 ml Bottle:

Glycerin
Cortef 10 mg (cortesone)
Ratio-Nystatin susp 100,00 U/ML (anti fungal)
PMS-Lidocaine viscous 2% 100ml
Lens Plus 360ml (saline solution) which contains salt 0.9%

I hope that is helpful to some of you. Please note, however, that I have no real idea of the validity of this recipe and that using it is at your own risk. I also must caution you that I also have no understanding of copyright/patent infringements that its use may cause.

Update on the vague reference to 'thrombosis'...

2010-04-10T14:00:00.000-06:00

As you may recall from my entry from March, the radiologist who screened my head and neck CT ordered by Dr. Williams included a brief note that said: "A tiny/small soft tissue focus is present in the region of the right piriform sinus inferiorly. Absent contrast filling is noted within the transverse and sigmoid dural venous sinuses extending into the proximal internal jugular vein on the right side compatible with thrombosis." Now, as we all know (I didn't until I asked the Doctor, but we'll just pretend that you already know) a thrombosis is basically a blood clot. If you'll remember the rest of the previous post, I had tried to leverage the skeptical nature of my G.P., Dr. Randy Naiker... and it appears that I was successful.

Dr. Naiker had a conversation with Dr. Williams. Dr. Williams then had one of his vascular contacts review the films... He called this morning and left a message on our answering machine indicating that the concensus is that there is no thrombosis. He did go on to say something to the effect that it is fairly common (30%) in this type of surgery that a thrombosis of the vein draining the head may occur. He assured us that we (meaning me) have nothing to worry about. Everything is as it should be.

Time to 'Buddy Up!", boys and girls...

2010-03-18T15:26:00.001-06:00

I’ve been reading some of the Facebook pages about oral and head and neck cancers, and I’m quite surprised at how many people don’t really know what is going on with their treatments, or the treatments of a loved one. And in way too many cases, people just don’t know how to cope with the entire situation. I seriously recommend that before you do much else in your battle with cancer, you select a ‘buddy’ to help you through this. Oh, please, don’t give me that macho I-can-do-this-on-my-own bullshit. The odds are really good that you’ve never been here before. How do you know that you can handle it? This isn’t a situation you can talk yourself out of, a bullet that you can dodge, a bar fight that you know you can win, or one where tears, a pout and stamping your cute little hoof will serve you well. Cancer won’t listen to your finely crafted rhetoric. This damn thing is an IED that’s already gone off and tossed you into a ditch. You’ve lost the bar fight. Not only did the heel on your shoe break when you stamped your little hoof, you’ve also broken a fingernail. So get someone to help get control of some of the harsh, day-to-day realities: you need to concentrate on surviving.

Choosing a ‘buddy’ really does require some serious thought on your part and the part of your spouse or significant other. You are in need of a ‘health care advocate’, not just a shoulder to lean on. In my wanderings around the Internet I’ve discovered that in the United States of America there are people and organizations that you can hire to be your advocate as you try to work your way through the complex insurance, diagnosis and treatment systems set up to deal with cancer. Even in Canada, sometimes it might help to have a professional looking after your best interests when dealing with the medical system, and your world in general, now that it is in such disarray. But you’ll probably stick with someone close to you to work with you as you navigate your way to restored health. Consider them a Cancer Survival Project Coordinator.

Be aware that your spouse/partner may not be the best person for this job. It may not be your parents, or a sibling, or even your best friend. All of these people love you, which could be a bit of a problem in context. Can they sit and just listen to the specialists without allowing hysteria to creep in? Are they able to figure out what questions need to be asked and when? Will they really help you to make the right decision, the best decision? Do they have the depth, the strength not to throttle an inconsiderate nurse, or an uncommunicative doctor, a completely dense pharmacist or an unaware acquaintance? Can they be cheery, diplomatic, analytical, and keep you, all of your appointments and your Personal Support Team organized? Do you trust them to speak for you to your family, your friends, your employer, your banker? Will they let you rage, weep, moan and then help you back to centre without patronizing you? Will they give you a kick in the ass when you deserve one? Keep looking for this is the type of person you need to be your Cancer Survival Project Coordinator.

Now, back to what brought this topic up… there are folks out there who have no idea what is happening to them, what is and is not being done for them, and what comes next.

Challenge everything; research, go on the Internet, get a second opinion. Demand answers.

There is no need to be rude about it, but make sure your doctors and advisors understand that you will not be taking things at face value. This is one of the crucial activities for your buddy; making sure that you are not slipping into complacency when it comes to your treatment regimen, that you are not blindly following the doctors’ advice. It is only a comment on human nature, but your doctors will treat you with a wee bit more respect and 'inclusion' if you've done your homework. It is the very rare health care practitioner who gets annoyed if you seem to be well on your way to expert status about what's trying to kill you. And if they are annoyed, you need to think seriously about finding another doctor.

Work out the ‘plan’ for treatment with your doctors, with your buddy’s help. What do we do now to get rid of the disease? Conferences with your doctors will provide you with most of the information you need to make informed choices for your treatment. Surgery? Rarely done on its own. Radiation? Before or after surgery? What about Chemotherapy? Adjunctive therapy? Alternate medical options? All of these need to be discussed, researched and scheduled. A plan helps you, your family and friends, and your employer focus on the future. And a good buddy helps it all stay on track.

We need a Canadian push... Oral, head and neck cancer awareness

2010-03-15T19:03:00.004-06:00

The Oral Cancer Foundation in the States is starting to make some serious headway in the awareness campaign to make people sit up and take notice of the need for early detection of Oral, Head and Neck cancers. Hell, look what early detection did for me! Leveraging the good work of the Head and Neck Cancer Alliance's 'walks' organized around the free screening program that is being promoted for a week in April, this year from April 12th 'til the 18th (2010), they are aggressively targeting the broad spectrum of the population who just don't get it, but might. Now that sounds a bit mean... it isn't that they don't get it, per se, but they don't understand that the risk of contracting an oral, head or neck cancer is no longer limited to those using tobacco or alcohol. Step through these videos: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4dvmRCcpnJM and then try the ones on this page: http://www.oralcancer.org/multimedia/index.htm . Hmmm... maybe you should do them in the reverse order.

In any event, there needs to be more participation during this awareness push from the cancer centres around North America, and Canada in particular. So far, I can only find three centres in Canada that have jumped on this particular bandwagon: The Nova Scotia Head and Neck Cancer Team in Halifax, the London Health Sciences Centre in Ontario, and Vancouver Coastal Health in BC. Our American counterparts have 156 centres signed up... the rest of the world has 26.

Now, if I can just figure out how to get the firm as involved in this one as they are in the Weekend to End Women's Cancers....

A violent few days...

2010-03-15T10:40:00.000-06:00

The Monday has dawned as a bright, warmish (for March in northern Alberta!) day after a week and weekend of violence... both man-made and another example of Mother Nature pushing back.

Late last week in Ontario, just outside of Belleville, an eighteen year old boy murdered two people while trying to get at his estranged girlfriend. He killed the girl's mother, her younger sister and seriously injured the object of his affection before fleeing... The husband/father found the carnage when he returned home early in the morning from what I assume was a night shift.

Here in Edmonton a disgruntled employee, suspended from his job as a mechanic at a local car dealership for uttering 'racially charged remarks' went into the dealership one morning with a shotgun and started shooting. He killed one person, wounded others, and then killed himself. It is made that more poignant when one understands that one of the first responders, a female police officer, discovered that it was her husband which had been killed by the shooter.

As we begin to understand the background stories to the scenarios, we begin to see that there were certain checks and balances in place that may have identified the killers before the situation got to these levels, if they had been properly applied. Hindsight is 20/20 though, isn't it?

But this same sort of due diligence and care that could have saved 4 lives should also have been applied to a scenario which allowed Mother Nature's wrath to kill two people and hurt up to 30 others in the mountains just out side of Revelstoke. Even after being warned, even after avalanche alerts had been posted for a specific area, up to 200 people chose to ignore the evidence and rode their snowmobiles into the back country for a competition, the Big Iron Shoot-out on Boulder Mountain, challenging the mountain to push back. It did. People died.

There are warning signs. There are behaviours that we can identify if we're paying attention. Indicators are usually in place before human beings cause something irreversible to happen. People don't pay attention to the signs. Or, unfortunately, they become thrill junkies putting others at risk.

Results...

2010-03-12T12:13:00.008-07:00

On Monday of this week I met with my GP to go through the results of the leg x-ray that he had ordered some time ago, and to discuss the results of Holter monitoring that was performed just before Christmas. I also decided that I was going to raise the question about my CT scan, ask about the Synthroid dose (thyroid medication), and get the doctor to take a look at a bit of an anomaly in the skin on my forehead.

Holter Test: Now obviously there was no problem with the Holter or the doctor would have been on the phone to me almost immediately.

You'll remember that I am having some 'balance' issues. Dr. Williams has put it down to one of those chemotherapy side effects that they don't tell you about. Dr. Naiker has been in agreement, but he is also a closet skeptic: he ordered the Holter monitoring to ensure that there isn't a problem with blood flow to my head caused by the really invasive surgery I've been through to get rid of the oropharyngeal cancer. The end result of the Holter monitoring is that everything from that perspective is just fine. Over the 20 hours of monitoring, my heart beat something like 97,000 times. There were no issues diagnosed. Which then takes us back to the chemotherapy fallout as a potential reason for the balance problems.

Leg X-ray: This scan was done because of pain that I have been experiencing in my right thigh. I have been suspecting that I'm developing either a problem in my knee or my hip which is reflecting pain into my thigh. When the doctor pulled up the radiologist's report, the first question he asked me was: 'Were you a runner?'. Uh, yes... I ran distance from the time I was about 10 years old living in Guelph until the end of high school, making me 18. I stopped doing any serious running when I went off to University... and the only real running I have done recently has been a brief spurt at the local gym for the couple of years before I was diagnosed with cancer. Well, apparently it took its toll... and I should have continued running. We don't have any arthritis, or damage to the knee or the hip... what we have is calcification on the muscles. No serious problems. Just basic wear and tear.

Synthroid; after a quick discussion about a rather unpleasant and somewhat embarrassing side effect, we agreed that we would try knocking back the dosage from 100mg to 75mg. Oh, and it turns out that the last set of blood tests show that my TSH levels were perfect.

Forehead anomaly; I forgot to bring it up. The discussion about the CT scan completely distracted me. It is something that bears watching, however...

Neck and Chest CT Scan; Realizing that Dr. Williams did say my neck and chest CT was okay, and that there was nothing there to be concerned about, I just thought that I would leverage Dr. Naiker's skeptical nature and get him to review the results with me. Dr. Naiker printed out the actual report and gave it to me. We discussed it. I'm providing the text of the findings here. The red coloured text is my interpretation (and discussion with Dr. Naiker). The blue belongs to the radiologist.

Findings:An osteotomy is noted involving the body of the mandible anteriorly on the right side which has been transfixed with a plate and multiple screws. This is where they broke my jaw for the mandibular swing, then bolted it back together.
Multiple surgical clips are present in the region of the right palatine tonsil compatible with transmandibular/transoral resection of a squamous cell carcinoma. An associated free flap is noted. There is evidence for a bilateral neck dissection along with resection of the right submandibular gland and possibly resection of the right sternocleidomastoid muscle. Obviously the guy has either read the file and is merely corroborating it, or he's really good! Additionally, there is evidence for a left submandibular gland transfer procedure into the submental region. This is evidence that they moved my saliva gland from its original location to low in the left portion of my jaw. A tiny/small soft tissue focus is present in the region of the right piriform sinus inferiorly. Absent contrast filling is noted within the transverse and sigmoid dural venous sinuses extending into the proximal internal jugular vein on the right side compatible with thrombosis. This made us both sit up and take notice. A 'thrombosis' is a clot. Is this a bit of scar tissue from the surgery? The location described indicates that it may be... and therefore may be responsible for my balance issues. The soft tissues of the neck are otherwise unremarkable. Scarring is noted at the lung apices. Note is made of congenital incomplete fusion of the posterior neural arch of C1. Okay, so that the beginning of the cervical spine, and, according to Dr. Naiker is not that unusual. To the extent visualized, the orbits, the paranasal sinuses, the mastoid air cells and the brain parenchyma are unremarkable. Other than the scar tissue, nothing sounds ominous. But the report goes on with a statement of findings.

IMPRESSION: The radiologist's caps, not mine.
1. Findings compatible with transmandibular and transoral excision of a squamous cell carcinoma in the region of the right palatine tonsil with free flap reconstruction and bilateral neck dissection as well as left submandibular gland transfer procedure as stated above. A soft tissue focus is present with the right piriform sinus inferiorly which may simply reflect secretions, however, tumor recurrence remains a possibility. Further assessment under direct visualization may be helpful. This is the bit that Dr. Williams mentioned during our phone call on a week ago. He had performed the 'visualization' when we met, and we had talked about the increased mucous production, so he is not concerned.

2. Findings compatible with thrombosis involving the transverse and sigmoid dural venous sinuses as well as the proximal internal jugular vein on the right side. This is the possible scar tissue again.

As for what is the piriform sinus, I've lifted an explanation and a drawing from Wikipedia for you:

"On either side of the laryngeal orifice is a recess, termed the piriform sinus (also piriform recess, pyriform sinus, or piriform fossa), which is bounded medially by the aryepiglottic fold, laterally by the thyroid cartilage and hyothyroid membrane. The fossae are involved in speech.
The term "piriform," which means "pear-shaped," is also sometimes spelled "pyriform" (as in the diagram on this page.)
Deep to the mucous membrane of the piriform fossa lie the recurrent laryngeal nerve as well as the internal laryngeal nerve, a branch of the superior laryngeal nerve.[1] The internal laryngeal nerve supplies sensation to the area, and it may become damaged if the mucous membrane is inadvertently punctured.
While accurate, the diagram is misleading in that the piriform sinus is not a subsite of the larynx. Rather, it is a subsite of the hypopharynx. This distinction is important for head and neck cancer staging and treatment.

Dr. Naiker arranged to have a chat with Dr. Williams about these two 'issues'. He then had his nurse call me and let me know that everything is as we thought, and that there are no worries.

All of this essentially means that I can continue to say that I am now two years cancer free!

Following up the Medical Receptionist post

2010-03-01T11:04:00.003-07:00

This morning I was finally able to get through to my GP's office, and I spoke with the woman who had left the cryptic message on my home answering machine. I was gentle but firm in letting her know the consternation which that sort of the call can trigger. She won't be doing it again, hopefully. She also agreed to re-order the contact numbers in my file so that my cell phone gets called before the house phone.

I also asked her to tell me which damned test the doctor wanted to discuss, and she told me that it was, indeed, the x-ray of my right thigh. So, we also set up an appointment for Monday next to review the leg x-ray.

She actually did thank me for pointing out the distress that the Friday afternoon calls can cause, and resolved to be careful in future with all patients.

And the results are in...

2010-03-01T10:52:00.003-07:00

After a brief conversation this morning with Dr. Williams, my oncological surgeon, I can tell you that the Neck and Chest CT scan is NOT showing anything that one should be worried about. There is some decrease in secretion at the top of the esophagus, but Dr. Williams' visual exam (with that damned scope thingee) showed nothing. The radiologist did point out a tiny granuloma, but indicated that it was likely age related, and not linked to the cancer, or anything else worth being concerned about.

Dr. Williams did ask about the cough that started this round of scans: is it worse? is it better? I told him that it is no worse, but I’m not sure if it has gotten any better. He offered me the option of the ‘wait-and-see’ approach, or the ‘call-the-pulmonary-guy’ approach. We joked a bit about ‘the happy wife means a happy life’ and I asked him to go ahead and call the pulmonary guy. G. would have been absolutely furious if she knew that I had turned down any sort of diagnostic.

While I had him on the phone, I asked the doctor to pull up the file on the leg x-ray that was done... and he did a quick look, and indicated that there was nothing there to be concerned about. I will be meeting with my GP on Monday next for an in depth review of that one.

We're still good!! I've made it two years now.

Telling the doctors the whole truth...

2010-02-28T18:07:00.003-07:00

My son-in-law is a ex-footballer... having played Canadian-style football in one of those men's house leagues for the guys who could never dedicate their lives to the game, but still had enough talent to make the provincial all-stars, or something similar. (Sidebar: the son-in-law used to play with one of the members of Kevin Martin's gold medal winning curling squad, who was the backup quarterback on their team!) As such, he had his fair share of injuries. One of them, the ubiquitous knee injury, has come back to haunt him. He recently had a MRI to work out the final diagnosis and build out a treatment strategy.

We got to babysit the granddaughter while they were at the diagnostic imaging unit. And, as the lad was leaving for the hospital, I made a pointed effort to impress on him the importance of filling out the questionnaire completely, and answering all questions honestly and completely.

And it is a good thing that he followed my advice.

When asked if he had ever had metal in his eyes, he thought about it, and replied that he had a bit of a 'challenge' at his part time job a couple of years ago that resulted in a metal sliver in his eye, which he self-extracted. (Young guys and their 'indestructible' attitudes; no safety glasses)

The radiology techs delayed the MRI and immediately did a medial head x-ray, and thought they saw 'something'. They then did a complete radial series (you know: the one where the machine head tracks from a point in line with your nose all the way around to the same point at the back of your head).

They discovered that the lad has a piece of metal lodged in his orbital socket. And, of course, it needs to come out.

It's a darned good thing that a) he told the whole truth, and b) that the MRI that was needed was only on his knee.

Medical Receptionists, please take note.

2010-02-27T12:16:00.004-07:00

There's a certain cruelty in finding a message on your telephone answering machine when you get home on a Friday evening after a particularly odd day's business from the receptionist at your family doctor's office, especially when she has stammered her way through the message that they've received some test results and, if there has been no follow up from your oncologist, the doctor would like to see you in his office.

It's a Friday.
End of business.
Not open again until Monday.
No way to get in touch with her to ask for clarification, to ask which results from which test.
No way to get in touch with the doctor unless you wave the emergency flag. And even then there's another doctor on call this weekend who is not familiar with your case.
And your wife has hardly slept through the night, risen early on Saturday, and by 9 AM has determined not only the diagnosis, but what the prognosis is, and has announced it to both daughters.
And your eldest daughter is a nurse who is calling the house every fifteen minutes with updates on how she has been trying, unsuccessfully, to get the doctor's personal cell phone number, further freaking out your wife.
And the youngest daughter has decided that babysitting your grand daughter Saturday night may not be such a good idea anymore.
And your wife is having second thoughts about having friends for dinner on Sunday.

Cruel. Just plain cruel.

Just a word to the medical receptionists out there: please don't do this. If I leave you my cell number, please use it! Call me! Leave messages on my cell phone! Don't give my wife and children (drama queens, the bunch of them!) the excuse to wind themselves up. And for crying out loud, don't leave that sort of message on a Friday!

Avoid Dehydration -- Drink!

2010-02-26T14:14:00.011-07:00

I must admit that I am probably the last person who should be talking about dehydration... I do not keep my fluid levels topped up properly at the best of times. During my cancer treatments I was even worse at it. In fact, while I was doing the combined radiation and chemo therapies the lead of my oncology team, Dr. Jha, finally got so frustrated with my inadequate fluid intake that he made taking two x one litre bags of fluid intravenously daily a mandatory requirement for the last two weeks of my radiation treatments. Now that was a bit embarrassing! Imagine taking up a bed for a couple of hours in a cancer treatment centre just because you can't be bothered to drink a couple of litres of water on your own. Okay, in my defense, I didn't want to take anything by mouth during that time period... hmmmm. Not much of a defense when my recovery was at risk.

Here's the advice: Drink. Drink WATER. And some juices, just being careful with which ones of those you choose. Apparently pineapple juice has properties that will undo all the good some medications will. You need to do the research, as in most situations during your treatments.

Why is dehydration such a big deal? Well, I don't quite understand all the ins and outs, but water is the major component in the body. It is the delivery system to the body's cellular structure. A lack of water, or dehydration can be responsible for depression, loss of libido, lupus flare ups, joint pain and a host of other things. Don't be complacent and dismiss this lightly: Dehydration can kill... there's something like 2.2 million children dying every year from the dehydration caused by diarrhoea. The elderly and the sick are equally at risk. You don't have to be lying prostrate in the desert sun somewhere to be seriously affected by a lack of water.

This goes back to my whining about knowing your body and what it is doing. You need to pay attention to what your body is telling you. For instance;

Arthritis: made worse by lack of water in your joints.
Heartburn: an indicator of a lack of water in the upper GI tract. Its a prime indicator that your body is headed for serious dehydration. The thing is that chemo therapy makes you so sick that you may miss that indicator.
Low Back Pain: can be an indicator that your spinal column and all that connective tissue needs a top up.
Heart Pain/Angina: indicating that your heart and lung tissues are not getting the water that they need.
Headaches (and Migraines): Think about the kind of headache that you get from a hangover, and you'll have a feel for it. You need to get some more water to the brain and eyes, and get more electrolytes back into your system.
Digestive tract pain: colitis-like symptoms, constipation can be caused by dehydration.
Diabetes: adult onset diabetes can be triggered by extended periods of dehydration. The body uses water as a delivery vehicle for insulin to cells.
High Cholesterol: indicator of potential hydration issues.
High blood pressure: hypertension can be a simple case of dehydration. Hypo tension means that you are usually in serious trouble.

I know that it's tough to drink, let alone eat, when you're dealing with the pain in your mouth and throat when you swallow, and the nausea from the chemo, and those indescribable sensations in your mouth from the radiation, but you really do need to stay hydrated. Drink water. Drink some of those better sports drinks that replenish salts and electrolytes. Take a look at the list above. How many of those things are going to be masked by the effects of your treatments? If you're really having trouble with getting your fluids down, raise the red flag with your treatment team before they find symptoms of potentially dangerous side effects to dehydration.

Another CT Scan

2010-02-24T16:06:00.003-07:00

We're now twenty-seven months out from the original cancer surgery. We've quietly slipped by the 2nd anniversary for the start of the courses of radiation and chemotherapy.

This morning I had a CT scan of my neck and chest, complete with the dye injection, and a standard chest x-ray. This really doesn’t have that much to do with my cancer history directly, but rather it is a reaction to an ongoing problem that I seem to have developed. I am suffering from a form of gastroesophageal reflux, which is when the contents of your stomach rise back up your esophagus at inconvenient times, like when you burp, or when you lay down, or when you’re eating; the esophagus suddenly spasms, hiccup-like. Well, it is not so much ‘suffering’ from it as being inconvenienced by it. I am using a generic version of the drug Previcid (lansoprazole) to slow or control the production of stomach acid, so I really don’t feel the burning sensation that the stomach acids should be causing. And, for the most part, the 'events' are happening while I sleep. I keep a little book of all of my physical idiosyncracies and have documented several reflux events where it woke me from my sleep. But the real indicator that made the doctor suggest the CT scan is an on-again, off-again cough, a little throat clearing sort of cough: annoying because it is not quite a hearty phlegm clearing hack, but too much to be a tickle that can be placated with a drink or a lozenge.

To his credit, the good doctor didn’t try to bombard this symptom with another type of drug to try to make it go away.

Dr. William's main concern is that the overnight backup may be damaging the epiglottis. It's time to just have a look to see what’s happening in that area.

He has suggested that results of the CT will either put the subject to rest and we’ll just keep using the Pervacid/lansoprazole, or have me scurrying off to a pulmonary specialist. I still don’t understand why this is in the realm of the pulmonary docs, but apparently it is.

Now the unspoken stuff that goes along with gastroesophageal reflux is that it can be a precursor to a laundry list of ailments which is topped off with esophageal carcinoma. And, of course, now that I have a demonstrated predisposition to the squamous cell variety, I really think that he’s being quietly prudent in his investigation: he didn't come right out and say what he's looking for. The other unspoken correlation is between celiac disease and esophageal cancers.

Oh, aren’t we just having so much fun!

The actual appointment went brilliantly… a little bit of a delay, but it wasn’t really significant enough to mention. The ladies who looked after me were stellar examples of nursing and radiological staff; buoyant, chatty, fun, and generally happy. I was complimented on my glasses, and on my cologne. It wasn’t quite flirting, but the interest in me, rather than the affliction, felt good.

Hey, you! Get your H1N1 flu shot... stop being a dink about it!

2010-02-03T20:11:00.003-07:00

At approximately 0800 on February 4, 2010 doctors will be taking a twenty-four year old woman of east Indian descent off life support. Her parents have arrived from Toronto, her brother from Calgary. This lovely young woman, one of our acquaintances, has no brain activity; her kidneys failed her, her lungs stopped functioning effectively, and then her heart stopped.

At this time they haven't told anyone what is responsible, but the chatter going around is that it started off with a bout of H1N1. There will likely be an autopsy...

H1N1 kills.

Get your damned shots.

Americans kidnapping Haitian children?

2010-02-02T09:57:00.003-07:00

In the aftermath of the Haitian earthquake a group of ten fundamentalist Baptist American do-gooders snuck across the border from the Dominican Republican, convinced temporary and permanent caregivers (including the parents!) of 33 Haitian children to allow the children to be loaded onto a bus and driven out of Haiti. The caregivers, and even the children believed that they were going off to 'summer camp' or to 'boarding school'... based on flyers/leaflets that the team of ten were passing out. But also within their possession where other flyers that detailed their goal to remove 100 children from Haiti and take them first to the Dominican Republic, and then back to the US for adoption. Not all the children were orphans...

At this point there is growing debate over what to do about the ten Americans. My answer is simple; jail them. If they are part of a child trafficking organization, then they deserve to be incarcerated. If they are simply arrogant Americans discounting the laws of Haiti, then they deserve to do time to teach them respect for another nations' laws and people. If they are simply mis-guided, over-zealous Christian fundamentalists, they need to spend time in jail to learn some humility. And if they are simply do-gooders who never considered the implications of their actions, then they need to spend time behind bars reflecting on their collective stupidity.

Yesterday's lab tests...

2010-02-02T09:32:00.004-07:00

This is another one of those posts where all I'm really trying to say is that I am so lucky to be looked after by the Canadian health care system in Alberta.

Yesterday at noon I managed to get out of the office, get to a local lab where I had made an appointment, had my blood taken, walked across the parking lot to the medical imaging clinic, and, without an appointment, had the x-rays of my right thigh done. I was back online, working, within one hour. And it cost me nothing more than my monthly healthcare premiums and time. Oh, wait... This is Alberta. There aren't any healthcare premiums!

The blood work ordered included 'general chemistry' which apparently covers sodium, potassium, chloride and CO2. I have no idea why Dr. Williams needs to see that stuff... but hey, he's the doctor. He also ordered a test of the creatinine in my blood as a way to check kidney function prior to having a chest CT scan done. Why? Well, if the kidneys are not functioning at optimal levels, they can't give you any of the dyes, which may/may not diminish the usefulness of the scan.

And as a hedge, the doctor ordered a TSHB (TSH progressive testing) test just to ensure that the thyroid levels are where they need to be...

The x-ray was a truly wonderful thing: a walk-in experience that took half an hour from walking in the front door, to walking out again. The lab I used, which happens to be the lab that did the ultrasound on my neck which started this ride in the summer of 2007, has gone almost completely 'digital'. There is no x-ray film. There are sensors build into the x-ray table which convert the radiation bombardment into video/computer imagery. The somewhat lively x-ray technician who took the shots of my knee/thigh/hip told me that it was actually possible that the results of the x-ray would be on my doctor's computer desktop before I managed to get dressed and get back onto the street.

And once again, I have no complaints about how I am being handled in the healthcare system.

Akabutu's Mouthwash

2010-01-31T10:26:00.005-07:00

As part of my resolve to reinvigorate this blog, I've been probing the access logs to find out who has been reading the material while it (the blog) has remained static. It doesn't actually tell me the 'who' part, but does give me an indication of the geographic origin of the connection, and the search term used to find the blog. For instance, I can tell you that someone in Singapore was studying the forearm flap photos on Jan. 10, 2010, and that someone in Belgium was having a look at my comments on the effects of Cisplatin on tinnitus. The number one search term that is pointing people to these pages is "Akabutu's Mouthwash". That wondrous concoction has developed an international reputation. I ran my own search against the term in Google and was fascinated to see how many listings there are, and in what context. The common thread, however, seems to be chemotherapy.

I really wish that I could post the recipe here, but I truly don't know it... if you follow the other Akakutu links in the blog you'll find hints as to what may be in it.

In the meantime, have your oncologist/doctor/dentist contact the Cross Cancer Institute in Edmonton, AB, Canada to get the recipe... I'm pretty sure that they'll share.

Cancer Treatment Update

2010-01-30T17:13:00.001-07:00

I got distracted from blogging in June of 2009... just prior to my next round of appointments to check on the state of my health. I had a series of appointments and tests in August/September. The two year anniversary of the surgery to remove the tumor was November 26, 2009. And I had an appointment with Dr. Williams, oncological surgeon extraordinaire on January 28, 2010. Okay, so where are we?

In mid June I did the obligatory blood test to ensure that the thyroid meds were actually being effective. The previous tests had been in late April after the checkup where Dr. Williams had suggested that the thyroid was indeed under performing. There were no significant issues, we assume, as the appointment to discuss the results was scheduled for the first week of August with my GP, Dr. Randy Naiker. Dr. Naiker is very good... if there was anything out of the ordinary, he would have scheduled me in earlier.

I went to the appointment with a list of items that I thought may be of interest... this is one of the things that I've started to do; make lists of how I'm perceiving my body's behaviours. So, the things that I brought to the table were:

continuing vertigo
pain in my right thigh
continued deterioration of my handwriting
weakness/shakiness in my right hand and arm
deterioration in my vision
changes in my 'swallow'

At the appointment we did discuss that an improved exercise regimen would help to stabilize my handwriting and the challenges with my hand/arm. Deterioration of my vision, well, dammit, that was probably age related. The 'swallow' will need to be monitored, and I need to actually concentrate on it...

But the good doctor decided that we wouldn't just accept the 'damage caused by chemotherapy' rationale as the reason for the vertigo. Now this is where I get a bit annoyed at myself for not recording some of the discussions we had. Did you know that there is a difference between 'dizzyness' and 'vertigo'? Well, apparently there is... and when I do some research and jog my memory about the conversation we had, I'll let you know all about it. In the meantime, he decided that we would be very proactive. He ordered a neck/carotid Ultrasound, and a Holter Monitor test. He wanted to rule out the possibility that the scar tissue from the surgery might be inhibiting blood flow.

Annoyingly, when the lab called me to give me the dates, the ultrasound was scheduled for Dec. 23rd, and the Holter for Nov. 30th. Remember that this was the first week of August: I was so frustrated that I badgered the lab receptionist who was trying to schedule the tests until I got the ultrasound moved up to later in August! And to be entirely fair, the young sounding woman on the other end of the phone actually called a competing lab group to get me that appointment. Unfortunately, there was nothing she could do with the Holter test.

The pain in the right thigh mystified the doctor. Again, to be proactive, he gave me a chit for an x-ray.

Here's where I admit to being a 'bad patient'. First of all, I tried to do the x-ray twice... but the wait was too long both times... and then I forgot about!!! When I remembered around the date of the Holter test, I couldn't find the requisition.

And, when I got the call reminding me that I had the Holter Monitor test scheduled, I actually made them change it to a later date because it was inconvenient... I had neglected to enter it into my calendar and booked a series of training sessions over top of it. I finally got the Holter in just prior to Christmas.

There was no phone call after the ultrasound. There has been no phone call after the Holter. I think that it is pretty safe to assume that we don't have a blood flow issue here...

Going into my recent appointment with Dr. Williams, I generated the updated list:

a dry cough that doesn't seem to have a trigger; happens irregularly. Can sometimes be full on, body wracking and can also be quite light
reflux seems to be pretty much under control
sometimes I develop severe esophageal spasms when eating, if I don't keep the fluids flowing
right thigh pain; I admitted to having forgotten to get the x-ray and losing the requisition
generally saliva production is good; sufficient for day-to-day, but not good enough to eat without lots of liquids
mucous buildup in my sinuses
tongue is much better, although some of the autonomic responses are slowed, and the strength is still not there
my weight is up to 177 lbs.
hearing is back to about 90% of pre-chemo levels

Well, that was the list. I actually started off by suggesting that the synthroid was probably working, but that I had noticed that my body odour had changed and it corresponded with the introduction of the synthroid. He made a note, but did not suggest anything. I then moved on to say that the reflux seemed to be under control, but that I would like to continue to use the Previcid for a little while longer. He agreed. I then brought up the coughing, but only after Gail poked me several times... this elicited a surprising response!

It turns out that one of the 'treatments' for reflux is really just a mitigation strategy. Previcid, for instance, really only changes the acids that cause the serious discomfort and damage to a 'base' (damn... gotta start remembering my chemistry!) . Okay. And that means what? Well, it means that you can still be having the back flow happen, but you don't feel it! In my little book of incidents that I keep, I have recorded several breakthrough reflux incidents... the inference is that there are more, but I haven't felt them. Dr. Williams suggested that we need to consult with a pulmonary specialist to see if there's anything weird going on... that might be caused by aspiration of reflux derived fluids. So the damned coughing may be caused by reflux. Heavy sigh. I just shake my head.

I'm headed into another round of tests: blood test (keratin), followed by chest CT, and then on to whatever the pulmonary specialist has in mind.

At least there is no sign of recurrence of the cancer! This is a major bonus!

Oh, and the doctor graciously wrote me up a requisition to replace the lost thigh x-ray chit.

Eight months later...

2010-01-30T14:41:00.002-07:00

I was just sitting here counting on my fingers and realized that it has been eight months since I posted anything here... notice that I say 'posted': I have written some stuff, but it just seemed a so trite and pointless that I let it languish in a digital limbo, and sort of lost interest in the whole 'blogging' experience. And the loss of interest could be construed as a bit odd given some of the events that have affected me and mine...

It seems about time to get back on track. 'Got a lot of things to comment on... there is the birth of my granddaughters (yes, TWO of them within 5 weeks of each other!), a number of world class disasters, the Canadian political scene at the federal, provincial and municipal levels, my work life, the evolution of technology, Scotch, and of course my ongoing battle with cancer. Although I must admit that the cancer thing isn't much of a battle anymore. It really has degenerated into silly little 'informational' skirmishes...

2009-06-09T12:34:00.003-06:00

Lately I've become fascinated by 'memory' and how it seems to work.... or not work in my case. I've been reading some interesting books and magazine articles where the memories of the authors are so rich in detail that I actually question my own memories, or the authors' truthfulness. Why is it, for instance, that I can't remember what my favourite shirt was when I was six years old, and these writers can? Or better still, why is it that they remember every gory detail about their treatments (yes, I've been reading cancer stuff, again) and I don't? My memory filing box is a disorganized mess.

But the memory isn't like a filing cabinet, with everything stuffed into neat folders and consigned to one or another drawer. The memory is more like a large, mostly placid pond. Our daily experiences are lightly sprinkled on the surface, some floating for a while, some sinking out of sight almost immediately, spinning, swirling down into the darkness of the still water, and some, well, the wind catches them and tosses them high into the clouds, chaff that has no real meaning to us, and easily discarded. Now, all the bits and pieces that remain floating on or near the surface of this metaphorical memory pond are the bits and pieces that we recall easily, referencing over and over, gently sinking out of sight as we stop examining it, using it. All of the stuff which lost its buoyancy and settled to the bottom of the pond are things that have slipped out of our mind's easy reach, but which can be recovered, with effort. Imagine taking a stick and stirring up the mud and silt at the bottom of the pond. With enough churning, its pretty amazing what can be brought to the surface, again.

I can, with time and effort, remember a great deal that I thought lost to me, like a few favoured shirts, a chance encounter with a nest of yellow jackets, or the nastier details of my treatment. But what I find most challenging is trying to arrange it all on a proper timeline. So with that favourite shirt, how old was I? And why, when I think of that shirt, I think of a completely unrelated event that is no where near it on the timeline? Going back to the pond analogy, there is so little control over what all gets brought to the top; the churning creates turbulence, artificial currents that pull far more to the surface than expected, and in some cases, wanted.

The real impact was from...

2009-05-29T10:05:00.005-06:00

Yesterday I was reviewing all I've been through in the last 18 months, mentally forming the time line into a glass sphere, like a Caithness paperweight, and holding it up to the light, twisting and turning it to look at it from all angles and I found a view that startled me.

The cancer was a threat, there is no question about it. But the effects that I am still feeling and will carry with me for life are a direct result of the treatments and NOT the actual cancer. The scale of the trauma to my body to treat a small tumour lodged in a tonsil seems all out of proportion. It seems sorta like trying to control dandelions with Agent Orange, pruning roses with a chain saw or swatting mosquitoes with a sledge hammer. The optics are just so extreme!

With the cancer at the time of diagnosis, I had one single swollen lymph node. My throat got a bit irritated if I spoke for too long. And that's it. It was the treatments that really made me unwell for the better part of a year.

There was the time lost to the surgery and the protracted healing, followed by the chemo and radiation therapy which kept me physically ill for the better part of 4 months and in a weakened state for the better part of a year. The treatment approach cost me a tooth, and a split jaw, and a tiny plate to hold it all together again, not to mention the facial and neck scars. The use of my tongue continues to be a chore, and eating is just a bore because of the effort and the reduced taste sensations. I lost most of my saliva glands to the radiation treatment and now have an ongoing challenge with dry mouth syndrome. I can't grow a full beard because of the radiation, yet I feel that I must maintain my goatee to hide the scar.

My hearing is diminished because of the cysplatin chemotherapy, and I'm getting really tired of the little glockenspiel player that accompanies my tinnitus.

My right shoulder still has areas of numbness, tends to roll forward, and always feels 'tight' because of the damage done to the controlling nerves when removing lymph nodes from my neck. My left forearm is significantly scarred and my left hand is weakened by the forearm flap. And my left thigh has an oddly symmetrical scar from where they took skin to overlay the left forearm damage.

So when you look at it all in a certain light, you really do start to wonder if the medical community can't find a slightly less invasive set of treatment protocols. So much damage for such a small thing.

And then when you consider that the same tumour is capable of wreaking enough havoc in the body to kill 21% of the estimated 35,720 new cases expected in the USA in 2009, maybe the full body trauma isn't quite so extreme.

Re-connecting

2009-05-24T11:18:00.002-06:00

The thing about reconnecting with old friends after a significant time out of touch is that they help you to remember other 'wheres' and other 'whens'. The challenge about reconnecting with old friends after a significant time out of touch is that they help you to remember other 'wheres' and other 'whens' with startling clarity. As the expression goes, 'the truth will out'!

I'm sitting in Calgary this morning, in my sister's living room, waiting until its time to go pick up G. from the airport. She is returning from a three week visit to her family in the UK. And no, I didn't go. I only go every other trip so the family doesn't have to deal with me each time, and can focus on G. And its also so I don't have to deal with the family... ;-) its not always a holiday, and I do have so few days each year.

I came down to Calgary yesterday to finish off the work we started on K's motorcycle last weekend. And it all worked. It started. I got to ride it from the designated storage area to its summer home. All went well.

Then we had dinner with an old friend... a gentleman that I originally met at university, and worked with at the Citadel. K did dinner at her townhouse. And we had a lovely time. It was the conversation that gave rise to my opening statements.

We talked about the interesting, and good things that we had done while working together, or at least within each other's orbits. For instance, I had forgotten that he was one of the three of us who worked with Richard Rose to establish the Necessary Angel Theatre Company. I had forgotten that it was his wife at the time who found the T.S. Eliot quote from which we pulled the name... But then we also moved on to more unpleasant memories, like the time I had to tell him that he was persona non grata at the theatre we worked at; he became the scapegoat for an ugly communication breakdown. And of course, all sorts of other unpleasant memories came flooding back.

And we talked about where our classmates are, and others we have known. Fun little factoids, like the mean IQ of those in theatre vs. other professions and disciplines were bandied about. And of course, whenever talk about the lifestyle that is theatre (or any performance based culture, be it dance, or film, or tv) comes up, there is always a certain amount of time devoted to the agonies of the so many performers, their individual tortures, and torturers. And of course, as we get older, the conversation inevitably turns to the rate of survival. My cancer was never discussed (I do get very bored with it very quickly), but we did talk about Larry Yachimec's lung cancer, his family and the challenge they face, and Alan Duluka's (spelling?) ongoing battle with non-Hodgkin's lymphoma.

As I observed earlier, meeting up with someone like Brian again, after so much time, brings a startling clarity to the past. It is not always welcome. It is, however, very necessary in order to continue moving forward with a life, and not dwelling on a poorly remembered past constructed entirely of 'glory days' reminiscences.

Just say NO to Crowne Plaza Hotels

2009-05-18T17:47:00.007-06:00

First of all, I must admit that some days I really think that our eldest daughter has a target painted on her forehead. She has been taken advantage of yet again. And again, it was while travelling. This time it was Crowne Plaza Hotel staff.

I may have mentioned it before, but she and her younger sister are pregnant. As part of her attempts to celebrate both the pregnancy and her thirtieth birthday, she decided to accompany Gail to England to visit her grandparents. Unfortunately, the pregnancy is not without its complications, and she was forced to return home early. The challenge was in finding a flight. She returned on May 15th.

This decision to return, and the date of the flight presented a logistics problem. The rest of the family (grandmother, grandfather, mother, aunt, uncle, uncle's mother) were all booked onto a flight to Spain on the same day FROM A DIFFERENT AIRPORT! The family was flying out of John Lennon Airport in Liverpool, while J. would be flying out of Manchester. The solution to the logistics issue was that J. would spend the night at a hotel at the Manchester airport. They chose the Crowne Plaza, largely because breakfast was included.

Okay, we all got that? The Crowne Plaza, Manchester Airport.

One of the trials and tribulations of J.'s current status is that she does not possess a credit card. It was determined that Gail would go to the hotel to check J. in, and pre-pay the bill. At the time of check in, they did verify that breakfast was included, although at this point they don't really know what the very inarticulate clerk really did say. Can you imagine putting someone on the front desk who is effectively unintelligible? Unthinkable.

During the course of the evening stay, for whatever reason, J. decided that she needed to call A., the friend who would be picking her up at the airport in Calgary. She contacted the front desk to discuss how they might accomplish this. The front desk said that if she would leave a deposit of 30 pounds (just shy of $60 CDN), they would 'switch on' her phone's international call capabilities for ten minutes. J. went to the lobby desk to hand over the money, passing on her way, a British Telecom pay phone. Once at the desk, she asked instead for change for the pay phone, but the woman behind the desk went to great lengths to assure J. that the 30 pound hotel phone call was the better option. And besides, if the call didn't last the 10 minutes, she would be entitled to a refund. J. went back to her room having paid the deposit. Once back in her room, she discovered that the phone wouldn't work for outgoing calls. It took two trips from the onsite technician to make the darn phone work. Funny how they have an onsite technician... does that tell you anything?

J. is really quite frugal and careful about some things. She set the timer on her watch for 10 minutes, made the call and hung up when her 10 minutes was up. A.'s phone records can actually confirm the time spent on that call.

The next morning J. went to breakfast, then to check out. Now, because she had pre-paid, she could have simply dropped the key in the fast check out box, but being both frugal and honest, she decided to check at the desk to see if she could get some money back, or to pay in case she exceeded the 10 minutes by a minute or two. She was shocked to discover two things. First, she owed 15.95 pounds for the supposedly included breakfast (which was a yoghurt and some fruit), and 168 pounds for a 68 minute phone call. When you factor in the 30 pound deposit she paid, that is 213+ pounds, or $381.82 CDN for a phone call and a breakfast that was complimentary!!! (conversion rates are based on overnight rates: 1 GBP to 1.784 CDN. Thank goodness it wasn't weeks ago when the pound was at 2+.)

It might be deduced that the broken phone that was repaired twice because it wouldn't open an international line then held the line open after she had hung up for an additional 58 minutes. Although, if you assume that there is a 'default' setting on the phone lines (which most digital lines will have), it probably closed down after 60 minutes of inactivity, a nice round number, meaning that J. only used 8 minutes of her time.

There was no reasoning with the staff. There was even the threat that the police would be called. They held J. in a small room, browbeat her, threatened her, delayed her until she was at risk of missing her flight even though they themselves admitted that the phone was probably at fault. But they wanted her money. They scared J., making her ill, and in desperation, she wrote them a cheque. They continued to keep her confined until they could confirm that the cheque had cleared. Obviously they've done this sort of thing before, because they knew how to efficiently process an out-of-country cheque. Interesting for a chain that purports to only handle credit cards and cash.

Our complaints have fallen on deaf ears. In fact, we have received no response at all, not even a confirmation that they have received our messaging. J. has contacted the hotel directly; I have used the complaint form online and sent emails to various high level managers in the UK and North America. They obviously don't give a damn about employees taking advantage of an honest, unwell pregnant woman travelling on her own.

Crowne Plaza Hotels should be ashamed of themselves for the behaviour of their staff. In fact, I suspect and consider this particular little group to be thieves, and definitely extortionists. Should we be concerned that this little cabal has proven that they can extract funds from J.'s bank account?

Please think twice about giving Crowne Plaza and IHG your business in the future. I will be making our corporate travel office aware. We, as a family, won't be doing brunch at the local Crowne Plaza anymore, and I can assure you that the business meetings I have planned for the next quarter will no longer be at a Crowne Plaza, or an IHG subsidiary.

Bloody Crowne Plaza!

Motorcycle ride to Calgary and back

2009-05-18T09:16:00.009-06:00

I actually accomplished the rather macho act of riding my motorcycle to Calgary and back. I was quite pleased with how comfortable a ride my motorcycle, a Honda Shadow Aero 750T, was. There were no issues with my back, although my 'sit bones' really started to cause me concern. 'Numb bum' syndrome became quite painful. I gotta get me a better pad for the seat if I'm going to do long rides like that again. My knees were a bit stiff when I got off the bike, but I did try to stop every 100 kilometers or so to keep things limber. I also need to discover the best way to manage the throttle. At one point my hand started to tingle; it was 'going to sleep'.

It all started off with a plan to ride out to Jasper and back during this long weekend, but once I went through the weather forecasts carefully (sailing does teach you some things!) and realized that I am not yet ready to ride through spring snow in the mountains, or protracted bouts of rain on the Yellowhead highway with the accompanying winds, I decided instead to just do a round trip to Calgary and back. At one point, it was to be a ride to Calgary, then loop out to Banff, Louise, Jasper and home. But once the weather forecasts were studied, I decided on a safer and more comfortable course of action.

The reason for the Calgary stopover was to visit with my sister, and to help her get her motorcycle on the road. We're doing that in two steps. Step one was Saturday when we pulled the battery out her bike to charge it up. And that was a bit of a chore. I should have taken a better selection of wrenches with me. In the end we had to go to Blackfoot Motosports to buy a set of socket wrenches and a battery charger. With the proper tools, it was a breeze to pop off the seats, disconnect and then remove the battery. Step Two will be next weekend when I go back to Calgary (in the convertible this time), nominally to pick up Gail at the airport when she returns from the UK. We'll reconnect the charged battery and see what's what.

By the way, the kid behind the counter at Blackfoot Motosports (they're all kids to me, anymore) was really very cool in how he dealt with Kathleen and I. Respectful, helpful, and didn't once point out that we didn't know what the heck we were talking about... a really nice retail experience.

Once the battery was out, my sister headed off to Banff with a friend. I was going to shadow them, but, referencing the weather again, I headed the other way... out to Chestermere and then snaking north. And that was a bit of a challenge, with all the construction, and the gravel roads in the area. I wobbled my way onto Highway 2, then off, then back on... trying to find a comfortable ride, all the way to Red Deer. A temperature drop made up my mind about diverting all the way over to Drumheller, which I probably should have just done, anyway. I had the gear to keep warm; I just didn't put it on. Unfortunately I was on the highway when I passed Lacombe. Its a lovely little town, and I would have liked to have visited it again, but didn't realize that I'd scooted past until it was impractical to make the detour. After missing Lacombe, I did get onto to Highway 2A, and very much enjoyed the scenic route back into Edmonton.

I know that I made the right decision about not going into the mountains. Temperatures were a bit too cool... and yesterday there were high winds and rain coming out of the west. This morning, we've got snow.

One of the things about Alberta is the distances involved, and the straight lines. I think that a ride of that distance would be so much more enjoyable in areas with more frequent population centres, or with a bit more windiness to the roads, and trees and landscape to moderate the wind, and more than just prairie scenery. I know that I can ride the distance now; its about finding a route that appeals to me. I do want to try going into the mountains. So the trick is how to arrange the trip to include Gail. I don't think that she'd enjoy riding on the 'bike with me. But, if she and some friends drove in a car and met me at some predetermined points along the way... hmmmm... something to consider...

EPSB reverses Superintendent's position

2009-05-07T12:02:00.004-06:00

The following was lifted from the EPSB internal bulletin board site:

Superintendent of Schools ends travel restrictions

May 6, 2009 - After reviewing the latest information regarding the H1N1 Influenza outbreak, the Superintendent has suspended all restrictions on staff and student travel.

Effective May 7, the District will allow students and staff to resume air travel within Canada as well as all international field trips and district business trips.

The District will continue to monitor the H1N1 influenza outbreak and is prepared to make additional adjustments should circumstances change in the future.

For the sake of context, be aware that this statement was released after a three hour closed door meeting with the elected School Board Trustees.

Similar action has been taken by the Catholic School Board.

Time to change the Superintendent of Schools

2009-05-06T09:30:00.005-06:00

Having listened to Edmonton Public Schools Superintendent Edgar Schmidt on the local CBC Radio One this morning, and thinking back to what a number of elementary school teacher friends have mentioned to me in the recent past, I believe that it is time to find a new Superintendent.

This man is accepting and acting on bad advice.

Firstly, his decision to restrict all out-of-province travel (air and ground) for the students in his jurisdiction is, in my mind, misguided. The only reason to make such sweeping statements, and invoke such sweeping bans is if the insurers pulled their support. He makes no mention of that. His statements indicate that he has taken the advice of those close to him, rejecting the advice of the Ministry of Education, the Ministry of Health and Wellness, the federal Ministry of Health, and the World Health Organization.

Secondly, his refusal to reimburse parents (students) for the funds they lose through this ban is unfortunate. The Edmonton Catholic School Board (the so-called 'separate' school board) is reimbursing families for their lost funds affected by the somewhat limited ban they have introduced. By the way, my feeling about what the ECSB is doing is very similar to my reaction to the EPSB; they are being silly. Joan Carr's position as superintendent of that school district should also be reviewed.

Third; Mr. Schmidt, by silence or by active endorsement I can't say, has allowed Edmonton Public Schools to impose a new metric (measure of success) on the Elementary School System that is absolutely ludicrous. Teachers will now be measured on students' 'visible delight' with their learning. Who are the people who write these policies?

I believe that all school administrators, from the Superintendent on down through the so-called 'consultants' to the Vice Principal level should be required to spend the equivalent of one teaching month in the classroom. No exceptions.

In the meantime, get rid of Mr. Schmidt.

Hypothyrodism confirmed

2009-05-06T09:19:00.002-06:00

Damn. I've received confirmation that the radiation therapy has affected my thyroid, leaving me with a mild case of hypothyroidism.

In discussion with my doctor (David Williams) when he called me at 8:00 PM (interesting office hours) he mentioned that 10 years ago the levels of TSH in my system would have been within accepted tolerances. Its only within that 10 years that the medical profession has determined a finer scale for measurement, and have determined a finer scale for treatment. My levels were a '5' when they should have been a '4', if that makes any sense to anyone. I must admit that I'm a bit lost... right down to whether he said TSH or one of the other Ts that are in the mix. I was a bit distracted by the thought of having to take a pill every day for the rest of my life. Although, my symptoms are so minimal that I may be able to skip 'em in a pinch without disastrous effects.

We'll do blood tests in 6 weeks to see if the meds are working, then check again at six months, and then once a year for the duration. If nothing else it will enforce the discipline of the annual checkup.

I started the pills this morning. I don't expect to notice any difference for a week or so. Actually, the symptoms are so minimal that I may not notice the difference unless I consciously think about it...

Are the people at CBC Edmonton just stupid?

2009-05-03T10:00:00.003-06:00

Now that the World Health Organization has realized that calling something the 'Swine Flu' has serious perception problems for pork producers, they have started referring to the strain as the H1Ni virus, and have asked media outlets to do the same. This is not the same as BSE (Mad Cow Disease). You cannot get the H1N1 flu from pork products, especially once cooked properly. But of course with people being people there is a bit of hysteria surrounding eating pork and the flu. And with politicians being their own species of swine some countries are capitalizing on the fear and promoting local hog producers, while raising embargoes against foreign producers (China and Russia).

The team at CBC Radio in Edmonton seem to be dead set against helping to dispel the myths and continue to refer to the outbreak as 'SWINE' flu, in capital letters. Their approach is going to have even more far reaching consequences now that the residents (one worker, 200 pigs) at an Alberta hog operation have been diagnosed with the H1N1 virus.

This group at CBC seems to be taking delight in the thought that this may be the beginnings of a worldwide pandemic.

Can't they see that it would be much more fun to start referring to the virus as the Hini (heinie) Flu?

2009-04-30T10:14:00.002-06:00

Whew! Its been a bit of a whirlwind of a week so far... G. is getting ready for her annual trip to the UK to visit family, and I am fighting the parameters of an engagement, and not feeling like I'm getting any traction whatsoever.

What I've got is a situation where the client is unable to articulate where they're going with something, usually taking a position that makes no sense, or that contravenes something that we have already architected for them... I make suggestions and they hold firm to their murky vision. I then bring in my supervisor(s) with the hope that they can sway the client and get them back on track, and the client then completely undermines what I've said to my supers by presenting my direction as their own personal epiphanies! I really do dislike the duplicity, and the position it is repeatedly putting me in. And then one another front, it appears that I am doing 'too much' for the client... and from the wrong direction.

It also has to be said that my immediate contact within the client organization has been 'hung out to dry' on this project, with a complete lack of supervision and direction until we reach the pain points...

Damn, but I hate it!

Getting ready for it... part II

2009-04-24T12:53:00.004-06:00

And continuing the same thoughts, but for the surgery part of the question...

Depending on the surgical solution chosen, there are slightly different approaches to getting ready aligned along common themes.

Talk with the surgeon about what you're eating, drinking and taking as supplements to ensure that you, and he, understand the implications to your coagulation factors. If you won't be seeing him well before the surgery, put a call through to your GP. If he can't see you, talk to the nice folks at HealthLink. And if all else fails, call the Cross.

Put on weight. 'Bulking up' will serve you well for the next year. Unfortunately the diagnosis-to-surgery timelines are usually so tight in these instances (hooray! for a responsive health care system!) that getting the optimal amount added to your existing body mass can be really difficult. But try.

Get flexible, get strong. Yoga, tai chi. Weight training for your upper body. Work on the neck and shoulders, and your forearms and hands. Why?

The surgery will involve cutting into targeted muscles in your neck. Make sure the rest of them are strong to speed the healing process, and to ease the discomfort after surgery. Its amazing how heavy your head actually is. And, depending on the surgical option (radical neck dissection) they may need to move a couple of nerves out of the way. Just touching and moving 'bruises' nerves. This interference may affect the way they behave for some time. For instance, the surgical team needed to move my 'spinal accessory' nerve out of the way, and then allow it to move back into place. The challenge then created was that I lost control of my right shoulder musculature, allowing the shoulder to 'roll forward'. Good, strong shoulder muscles going in make the roll less pronounced, and should make it easier to straighten out over a shorter period of time. I still have problems with mine 16 months later; there is a numbness (area is reducing slowly, but definitely get smaller all the time), and I often need to consciously remind myself to stand up straight and square my shoulders. I should have done the weight training before the surgery. Damn.

You will need strong hands and forearms just to do things after the surgery. And, if you are going for the forearm flap option, your left arm (or whichever) needs to be in good shape. A strong hand will make things easier while the arm is splinted, and then while it is healing. The right arm and hand will need to compensate...

Aerobics; make sure the heart and lungs are in good shape. This could be as simple as starting a walking program, something that you'll want to follow up with after the surgery, as well.

Put together the hospital kit. You are going to be in there for 10 days plus. What are you going to do with your time? But be aware that you are going to have a bit of a problem focusing, so don't count on being able to read highly technical manuals. Crossword puzzles and sudoku will help you to bring your brain back... Reading of any kind is always good. I deliberately took my drawing pad and travelling watercolour kit to help me assess the impact of the shoulder issue; I can still draw/paint, though at first there was some major muscle fatigue. At this point, however, I must admit that my handwriting has seriously deteriorated, and that my signature is inconsistent. In an earlier era, I would suggest submitting several samples of your signature to your bank... just in case.

Buy pajamas (several sets) and at least one good terry cloth robe. Hanging around in hospital gowns is humiliating at best. Hanging around in your underwear is just being ornery, exhibitionist, and rude. Slippers; good slippers. And not those ones with no backing for the heel. I never owned slippers until this; I'm very glad that my wife thought to get me some.

Put together the home care kit. Lay in a good supply of Boost or Ensure. Soups, stews, chilis, etc. are going to become a short term staple in your diet. At one point I would have suggested getting your hands on a juicer, but we've discovered that it is less expensive, and more efficient to buy stuff, unless your are going to be making some really exotic blends. A good blender will serve just a s well, and better perhaps as it will be able make you 'smoothies'. By the way, we picked up one of those Magic Bullet blenders; its great for what you'll need in the short term. And remember to have the nurses set you up with home care visits from the public health nurse. Now the visiting nurse will make sure you've got the dressings (Adaptic) to deal with the forearm, and all of those good things. All you really need to cope with are things like the mucking gloves to cover the forearm flap wound when you shower and bathe, lots of good videos to watch, and books to read... and the self discipline to stop from getting hooked on the daytime 'soaps'. We also used this episode as an excuse to buy a new couch for our family room/lounging area. We deliberately bought a big couch, which we refer to as the 'cuddle couch', rather than one of those La-z-boy style chair to prevent me from becoming isolated. If you have to share a couch, you are more prone to maintaining physical contact with your partner... something which you both need. A 'special chair' just for you frames the mindset that allows you drift away from your family, pushing them out to arm's length, and encouraging them to start thinking of you in the third person.

Does this help at all?

Getting ready for it...

2009-04-24T11:35:00.004-06:00

Recently I've started a bit of a correspondence with someone out there who is just getting onto the treatment treadmill after having received a 'qualified' diagnosis of a stage 4 Metastatic Spindle Cell Squamous Carcinoma. I'm not entirely sure where it sits in his throat. This is not the same person who is dealing with the tumour around their thyroid...

In any event, one of the questions asked was about what one "should do to physically or mentally prepare for the quadroscopy or with the surgery when that time comes?."

Right off the bat I can give one suggestion that the surgeon would really appreciate: stop any alternative therapy or supplements that could be thinning your blood or inhibiting coagulation at least three days before the procedure. Take a hard look at the extra vitamins, the iron supplements and stuff you are taking, including the apricot pits (laetrile) and the oriental mushroom teas for what they are doing to your blood. You don't want to present a bleeding problem while you are on the table, either for the quadroscopy or the surgery.

Get flexible! The quadroscopy in particular will tax your upper body muscles. What they do, in effect, once you're under the anesthesia is to adjust your position on the table so that your head is tilted way back so that your mouth-to-throat-to-esophagus-to-stomach is as straight a line as possible to make it easier for the quadroscopy tools to slip in and out, reducing the actual trauma to the tissues... But the way they position your body puts a lot of stress on the upper torso. Imagine lying on a hard surface with your head and shoulders hanging over the edge and you'll get an idea of the effect. Lie down somewhere and try it for a moment (with someone with you to support your head!) to understand the effect on your musculature. Your chest is gonna hurt later (maybe next day). If you can do some muscle strengthening and stretching exercises for a few days prior, that would be a good thing. In my website, and elsewhere on this blog I mention 'yoga'; time to seriously think about it. Also, on the day of the procedure, do the same exercises just before they wheel you into the operating theatre, to loosen things up.

The quadroscopy itself is more scary to contemplate than it truly is. The effects you will feel are the muscle pain from the body manipulation, and possibly a sore throat... This is a diagnostic procedure for discovery, not a surgical solution. It is not intended or designed for major impact to tissues through removal, or other collateral damage.

You will go to and return from the hospital the same day. But do remember that you will be put 'under', therefore don't plan on driving yourself home at the end of the day...

Try being inquisitive with the staff; be 'chatty', friendly, maybe even funny if its a normal part of your nature. It will affect how they deal with you. A surly ass gets treated as one. The openly terrified get patronized. If you want to be treated with respect and humanity, act like you deserve it; don't demand it.

Meeting with the surgeon...

2009-04-16T12:26:00.004-06:00

This morning I met with the surgeon who did all the work on my neck/throat to excise the oropharyngeal carcinoma in late November of 2007... about 16 months ago. The last time I saw him was in August of 2008, 8 months ago. Since then, he and his wife have had their fourth child... but this blog is about me, not him. Nice guy, though.

On we go...

The examination went well... aside from the fact that he produced that damned fibre optic scope that he seems to take great pleasure in feeding through my right nostril and down into my throat to have a look around.

The good news is that everything looks 'really good'. There isn't any bad news, only one area of concern.

I went in with a list of complaints/observations; thank goodness for G. If not for her, I would never track some of these things, let alone write them down for reference. The list today looked something like this:

swallow is changing; becoming more of a challenge
reflux and heartburn; recurring way too much
tongue issues; burning sensation, loss of taste, odd sensations
intermittent coughing
hiccups, burping (gas)
hearing; much better. The guy you sent me to was wrong!
joint pain, muscle pain/fatigue, especially in lower extremities when inactive for a time
swollen saliva gland; is it ever going to go down?

So, the basic exam went well. He probed and prodded and stuck his fingers in my mouth to feel around. Structurally, everything looks good. There is no evidence of anything new.

The list;

1. The swallow will continue to change as I continue to heal. He recommended that I follow the advice from the speech people at iRSM (once Compru). If, in three or four months the swallow is still problematic, I should be going back to them to get a fresh view on the situation.

2. Dr. Williams prescribed prevacid to get the reflux under control. We'll give that a try for a couple of months. If that doesn't address the problem, then he may need to 'scope me (or refer me to a gastroenterologist) to find out what's going on there. He, initially, thinks that its probably just a by-product of the new swallow challenge.

3. It sounds like the tongue issues are all part and parcel of the lingual nerve repairing itself. He seems quite confident that over time it will all be back to normal. Yay!

4. Intermittent coughing. He believes that it may be part of the reflux issue. But as he was talking about all of that, he wrote up an order for a chest x-ray.

5. Hiccups, burping (gas) he put down as part of the reflux issue as well. We had another discussion about the serious hiccups I had while in hospital (vegas nerve silliness), and he introduced the name of another nerve, which I promptly forgot... and I also have forgotten part of the conversation around the hiccups. But there isn't a huge concern there...

6. I did not tell him that the guy he referred me to was 'inadequate'. I just pointed out that my hearing is back to about 90% and let it go at that.

7. We had a 'light bulb' moment around the joint/muscle pain; I could be suffering from something to do with a hypo thyroid. I have to look this one up. Apparently, when we factor in a few of the other items on the list, the joint pain can actually point to thyroid issues. This little syndrome could account for a number of the other wee challenges that I've been facing, not the least of which is fatigue and some motivational issues. He has ordered a series of blood tests...

8. The lump in my neck which is the transplanted saliva gland will not shrink much more that it has already. Damn. We could start looking into cosmetic surgery, but what's the point?
Vanity?

So, generally then, things are in good shape. We'll get the reflux contained, and investigate the thyroid.

...and its snowing!

2009-04-14T12:39:00.003-06:00

There are some things that I just hate to be right about. This morning, it snowed, hard. Big, wet, heavy flakes of snow. It obscured my view of the High Level Bridge from the office window at the Terrace Building. And as I watched it falling a co-worker reminded me that I had predicted another heavy snowfall by April 15th...

There are some things that I just hate to be right about.

...and did I mention...

2009-04-12T18:35:00.002-06:00

And have I mentioned that its been confirmed that I have TWO pregnant daughters? It appears that they are due within a month/six weeks of each other...

Spring MUST be here...

2009-04-12T18:27:00.002-06:00

Today I got out my motorcycle, washed it, gassed it up, drove it for about an hour. Spring must be here...

...the reality of mortality creeping closer...

2009-04-12T17:55:00.004-06:00

Well, I guess that it really can't be ignored any longer. We need better maintenance. We're starting to wear out. The warranties have expired. I'm getting older. Those around me are getting older. As we get older, we start to wear out. And yes, getting sick is just another way of wearing out...

This past year I lost an aunt... the third member of my parents' generation to move on. Two uncles, and an aunt. We start thinking about, planning about how we'll deal with it when our parents are gone. But on some level that's expected. We expect our parents to go before us. Its when our friends, our contemporaries start to falter that uncertainty sets in.

My illness made a lot of the people I know take pause. I never really understood it. In my naivete, it never occurred to me that I could have died from the cancer. Typical. I just didn't get it.

Somewhere in the time line that chronicles my illness, there was a blip that marked the heart attack of an actor we know. He lived. That was startling. (The attack, not the surviving!)

About ten days ago, another actor/musician/comedian of our acquaintance died of a heart attack at 41 years old.

We have recently learned of another actor who has been diagnosed with lung cancer; we're told that it is decidedly terminal, though we can't find anyone who can say anything about it with any technical certainty. I suppose that because we (or at least me!) has been through something similar, I want to be told about it in language with a bit of certainty. You know, one of those 'it fits in this box' kinda of discussions. I'm a little disheartened on his behalf because of the fatalism in the conversations I've read on line... people have him dead and buried, but haven't been presenting the backup information. What stage is the cancer at? What have the doctors actually said? Is there any sort of treatment protocol planned?

Okay, so where am I going with this line of thought? 'Not sure, really.

So the warranties on my generation have now expired. Okay. What now? Maintenance. Good maintenance. Regular checkups. Awareness of changes.

Hmmm... I may have to come back to this post to reframe it a bit. It's coming off a bit depressed; I'm not being depressed, just thoughtful...

Happy Anniversary; Happy Birthday

2009-04-11T10:22:00.002-06:00

Today is my parents' wedding anniversary. 56 years. Not bad in this day and age. Although I suspect that the real accomplishment is getting through the first 30...

Today is also my Dad's birthday. He's had his share of challenges over the years and managed them all fairly well with my mother's not inconsiderable help; a small brain tumour (acoustic nueroma? I never get that right!), prostate cancer, terrible problems with his teeth, an ongoing structural issue with his bladder/urethra, and three sisters...

They say that if you can get through your fifties, you are in it for the long haul.

Another Award for the Lady

2009-03-12T14:24:00.004-06:00

G. has received yet another award acknowledging her commitment to the Arts, to the Community and to Children. Her contributions were recognized by being named as a "Woman of Distinction" by the local chapter of the United Nations as part of the International Woman's Day celebrations. Very cool!

Another milestone reached...successfully

2009-03-12T13:44:00.004-06:00

For the past three days I have been presenting 'stand up' training for a group of clients... essentially lecturing for 7 hours a day, for those three days. And I am overjoyed to report that the trainee feedback forms made absolutely no mention of any issues with my voice, my diction, or anything negative that might be associated with the fallout from my cancer battle. And these folks were workmates of a group who, the week before, complained long and loud about the diction and accents of my two teammates' presentation. Not significant, you say? One of the forms actually said that the instructor (me) 'spoke clearly'. Some of them were aware of the problems from the previous session. But about me, they were very complimentary.

Well, I did have one guy mention that he thought I was a little nervous... I suspect that my body language is a little skewed because of my shoulder... but even that is nearly back to normal. I did catch myself clasping my hands in front of me, rather than crossing my arms, which would be the more comfortable stance. I'll rationalize that one away by suggesting that I am aware that crossing one's arms is a signal of defiance and being closed to input and discussion. I would prefer to think that I am trying to remain 'open' to my students... but looking nervous? Damn. I'll have to work on that...

During the three days I did feel at times like I was slightly slurring my words, and my mouth, particularly my lips, got very dry at points. But no one had to ask me to repeat anything.

I think that my immediate supervisor has breathed a sigh of relief as well... he called at the end of the first day to ask how it went. The relief was evident in his voice; he even commented that he was confident in my assurances that it went well because my voice sounded so good over the phone. You know, I've had this feeling that he was delaying assigning the training to me, taking it on himself when he really didn't have the time, prepping the other team members to deliver the training because he wasn't sure I would ever be up to it...

Wow. I'm sure glad that I made it through without any ill effects. Now that I have proven I can actually do it, I will start concentrating on the curriculum and adding my own spin to the presentation. It (the curriculum) was tuned up while I was away, but even still I am not totally comfortable with what it is. We do license it from a third party, so I will have to be a little bit careful with what I do to it. My 'national roadshow' doesn't get started in earnest until late April, so I do have plenty of time. Although, there is a really strong possibility that I will be going to Washington, DC at the beginning of April to do some training for a group within our American practice that is supporting one of our major American clients.

2009-02-16T17:11:00.003-07:00

The kid and her husband got back from what he was describing before they left as their 'last vacation'. I suspect that he sees a major change in their lifestyle with the imminent birth of their first child. Hey, it made me laugh...

The trip wasn't the best.

They went to the Dominican Republic and were extremely disappointed by it. Customer service levels were not what they've come to expect from their experiences in Cuba and St. Lucia, or even in Mexico. The food, especially the preparation of meats, left a lot to be desired. It rained far too much for K.'s comfort level. And they had one driver on an excursion that had to be told to slow down because K. was getting tossed around unmercifully in the back of the jeep they were in. D. was quite concerned that she, or the baby would be hurt, so used his size, subverting his normally gentle demeanor to intimidate the driver into slowing down and driving reasonably. The ironic part is that they were on their way to do a few hours worth of ATVing on a beach... the roads must have been pretty extreme for the ride to and back from the ATV site to have been rougher than than the actually activity!

2009-02-16T16:34:00.005-07:00

Well, given the frequency with which I've been updated this blog lately, I figured it was about time to do something with it, anything... so at the tail end of a fine Family Day, I've just poured myself a glass of homemade wine (from a kit; none of that squish-the-grapes-yourself stuff...too much work!) and sat down to write something. The wine isn't too terrible... but still plonk-ish at best. Maybe it will get better with age? Well, at least it's saving money, right? This low quality wine would cost at least $10.00... I can make and bottle my own for about $3.00, plus my labour... And it is a wine that doesn't dry my mouth out completely... Normally I would drink scotch. I've found that scotch does not affect my dry mouth syndrome, strangely enough. But I'm just about out, I can't bring my self to venture into the -15 C, regardless of how sunny it is...

"It never rains, but it pours..." I'm sure where that quote comes from, originally, but it sure seems to be a valid truism. Just when I was beginning to question my effectiveness at work, all sorts of things have reared up to demand my attention! Things are so busy right now that our little team had to have a meeting to try to coordinate all the work, set priorities and generally attempt to get a handle on how we're going to get to the end of March without upsetting any of our clients. I was asked to shift a couple of process assessments to April so that I could take on an increased role for the special evaluation of a set of processes at Alberta Justice. I'm also working through the build of an instruction manual for a new assessment tool, but have had to hand a big chunk of it off to another consultant.... but I am expected to guide her through it. It appears that my approach to the design of the manual is a big hit with the gentleman in charge of the project. That's two items that are really good for my ego!

At the end of next week (Saturday) G. and I fly off to Las Vegas. I am attending an ITSM Conference... she is just coming along for the ride. Kinda cool is the ability to meet with some of the minds that we consult with on a fairly regular basis... team members from as far away as Halifax, Montreal and Toronto will be there... It should be very interesting. And entertaining... we still haven't decided which shows we will try to see this time.

And speaking of conferences, I've been shortlisted as a speaker for a major ITSM conference being held in Houston, TX during September of 2009. I have a phone interview tomorrow with the selection board... who will decide if I should be permitted to pursue the opportunity. Pursuit means that I have to actually sit down and write the presentation and submit it to them by the end of March... which isn't a big deal except that...

I have two white paper proposals that have been accepted as finalists in the corporate National 'Call for Papers' competition. The finished papers are due by March 20th... One paper is 'shared' with Zubair, and the other is mine and mine alone. Unfortunately, the competition is a wee bit high profile within the firm, so I can't back out of either paper... But on the upside, the winning paper gets $5000.00, with good money for a second or third place finish as well. Hell, even being an 'also ran' after this point is a good thing, so long as the final product is of reasonable quality.

And we're embarking on a new national training initiative. We have a team of four who are prepared to present ITIL V3 certification training under the corporate logo... at this time, I've got something like fourteen three day sessions, beginning with one the week of March 9th in Edmonton, that will take me to Vancouver, Winnipeg, Toronto, Montreal, Ottawa, and Halifax, all before December 2009. I'm seriously thinking of contacting the various cancer institutes along the way to offer to do some 'guest speaking' while I'm in town... if there is a need/desire. But if the response I've had from the Cross Cancer Institute is any indication, I won't be doing much...

I'm really looking forward to the training... it is something that I really enjoy. The challenge is whether or not my voice, tongue and throat are up to talking for three days straight. I certainly hope so!

2009-02-11T09:21:00.002-07:00

Ya, I know that I'm doing a terrible job of keeping this blog updated. I'd like to say that I'm horrendously busy... but that's not entirely true. What I am is intellectually beat at the end of each day, lately. There are other things swirling around me that are emotionally draining, even though they don't directly affect me. And after evaluating all that, I just don't feel that I have something to contribute, or it isn't something that I'm comfortable discussing online, or it shouldn't be added to the drivel found on the Internet...

Since I have discovered who some of the core readers of this blog are, I find myself censoring more and more... an awful lot of "oh, that might come across as hurtful to person X" or "person Y might take issue with that" and even a lot of "well, that's none of that person's business", and even some of "will that person use it against this other person?". I've become quite sensitized...

Topics for future exploration, exploitation, or avoidance:

personal bankruptcies--why its happening to people I know
family dramas made more severe by the recession
getting ready for all day training sessions again--am I really up to it?
why is the Cross Cancer Institute ignoring my offer?

2009-02-05T10:10:00.000-07:00

Experience is a mistake we remember.

Thoughts on the Federal Budget

2009-02-02T10:03:00.003-07:00

I’m still not sure that I can honestly say that I agree with the Federal budget that was tabled last week. I can’t even say that I disagree with it. Damn, but I hate being so undecided about stuff like this.

After 11 consecutive years of budget surpluses, we’re sliding into deficits again. Is it needed? I don’t know that its ‘needed’, but it is unavoidable. The deficit for the fiscal year ending March, 2009 will be in the $1.1 billion range. The next year is projected at $33.7 billion. How the heck does that happen?

The Government has decided to continue with its Corporate income tax reductions. But it is not speeding them up… simply maintaining the schedule that it set previously. Couple the loss of revenue (yes, taxes are revenue) because of tax reductions with the anticipated drop in revenues because of a drop in taxable Corporate income (blame the Recession!) and right off the bat we’re down $6.3 billion.

Some of those losses in Corporate income/revenues will also translate into capital losses for individuals to use on their tax returns by applying those losses against capital gains earned in previous years. I’m not sure how far back an individual can go to balance current losses against past gains… not something I have ever really understood. Regardless, if you start to take those tax reductions into account, with the effects of the Recession, the Government is actually projecting a tax revenue reduction from personal income taxes of $5.6 billion.

Right then, so we’re starting off $11.9 billion in the hole… and that total hole for the 2009-2010 fiscal year is estimated at that $33.6 billion that I mentioned before. That is a slightly different number than the ‘spending package’ number, which includes tax incentives, of $34.8 billion.
Once the Recession is over, a chunk of that lost $11+ billion in revenue will return. But the tax revenue contribution from the Corporate sector will not be part of the recovering revenue because, on the Corporate side, they are tax cuts and not a reduction in earnings caused by the Recession. Think about that… who’s going to end up paying down the deficit when this is all over? Who will be giving up the majority of the benefits of renewed growth?

Another part of the tax reduction scenario that hasn’t gotten a lot of media play is the change to the ‘tax brackets’ for personal income tax. Right now, your basic personal deduction amount will increase by $720, from the $9,600 we’ve become used to, to a $10,320. Okay, every little bit helps, right? But are you going to save it and use it to pay down your personal debt, or are you going to spend it?

At least the Government is recognizing that the next generation will be shouldering the cost of recovery. There is a new First-time Home Buyers’ Tax Credit, and a fund, although fairly modest, for the Canadian Youth Business Foundation to support young Canadians who are starting new businesses.

I must admit that I am really disappointed that the Government has not recognized the opportunity to advance the place of the Canadian tech sector in the world. We should be moving strongly into research and development; we should follow RIM's lead (Blackberry manufacturer) and dominate other areas. Hell, we've got the brains in this country. Let's exploit them! Unfortunately the budget has little or no change to the Scientific Research and Experimental Development measures, and there is no broad stimulus for innovation. Innovation! Like making a better vehicle, less expensively! (Notice that I didn't say 'car'. And what the heck is happening to our aviation/aerospace sector?) Like new, more efficient methods to process lumber. Like more effective mining techniques. Like better refining processes for petroleum and other basic chemical building blocks used by industry. Like more ‘Star Trek’ technology, now! Sure, on a broad basis, we are an economy that thrives on its ability to exploit natural resources. But is that enough moving forward? Competition with the rest of the world and the failures in the manufacturing sector with the resultant impact on day to day life in Canada point out that it’s not enough anymore to rely on our natural resources. Why not take advantage of the current international crisis and throw some serious weight behind finding the ‘next big’ thing, and being first to market? The budget assumes that we want to move back to the status quo in manufacturing, and , quite honestly, in every other industry segment, except for projects that fall under the ecoEnergy Technology Initiative (Natural Resources Canada). And is the slight bump in funding to the National Research Council Industrial Research Assistance Program enough?

Superbowl Surprise!

2009-02-02T08:50:00.006-07:00

Its not the end result of the Superbowl that I found surprising. The game was very good... some really exciting end-to-end drives, that amazing full field run, and that holding-on-by-his-toenails end zone reception! I was always a bit concerned about the Cardinals' bench strength..
It's not that surprising about who got the MVP, but I still think they got that wrong (shoulda been Fitzgerald!).

What really surprised me was how G. got so into the game! She was jumping up and down, and yelling at the TV, while occasionally asking me for clarification on the rules. It was kinda neat to see her so animated about North American football...

The Questionable Value of Salagen / Pilocarpine

2009-01-28T13:47:00.006-07:00

I've been trying to reach some sort of conclusion about the value of taking Salagen (aka pilocarpine) to offset the dry mouth syndrome. Well, at least I am starting to question the value for my particular situation.

Pilocarpine (or the commercial name Salagen) is touted as being one solution to dry mouth. It is supposed to actually stimulate saliva production. Now, given that I'm down to one saliva gland because of the radiation treatment, I thought that it might be something worth trying. I was initially disappointed with my doctors because they didn't suggest it right off the bat. I'm beginning to understand...

Salagen is supposed to be taken 3 to 4 times per day. Each pill costs approximately $1.25 Canadian. So based on a 30 day supply, and three times a day, you can expect to be spending $112.50 per month. Is it really worth it?

The saliva output has not increased enough after two months of taking the pills steadily to make eating a 'normal' experience again. I still need copious amounts of liquid to get through a meal. There is, however, enough saliva on a regular basis that I wouldn't be overly concerned about the dental implications of dry mouth. But there are side effects.

In theory one is to take the pill an hour and a half before eating. Okay, well that helps with taking it regularly, I suppose. You will feel a bit sweaty within forty minutes of taking the pill; and its not a hard sweat, its one of those odd 'nervous' sweats that makes you feel generally uncomfortable. Mine tends to localize on my back... chilling. My nose absolutely drips! Very disconcerting to be constantly dabbing at your nose while eating... I can just imagine the discomfort this causes those I dine with. The warning with the drug is also that you will begin to urinate buckets for a brief time; true. And, to further add to the general discomfort, your stool will get loose.

The use of the drug changes the tastes of some things. I haven't quite figured out the correlation, yet, but there is a decidedly alkaline taste associated with dark chocolate, scotch, and Swiss Chalet's 'special sauce'. It seems like the 'bitter' receptors in my taste buds are enhanced...

Also in my case, the use of the drug makes me feel that I suffer from 'cotton mouth'; my tongue feels swollen; this contributes to the shift in taste. The drug enhances the 'burning tongue' feel. G. tells me that she can't hear any difference in my speech, but it does feel odd to me, and makes me self conscious when I speak for too long. I really think I sound terrible in Spanish, murdering the oral part of the lessons G. and I are taking. This does give me some concern... I'm about to begin presenting a specialized training program at work. I can't have my tongue failing me, nor can I restrict how I present because I'm afraid that my tongue will fail.

Here is a listing of known side effects taken from www.medicinenet.com:

SIDE EFFECTS: Excessive sweating (diaphoresis) is a frequent side effect of pilocarpine. Other side effects include chills, dizziness, excessive tearing, flushing, voice change, stuffy nose, tremor, increased need to urinate, visual disturbances, diarrhea, difficulty swallowing, abdominal pain, nausea, vomiting, and slow heart rate.

I hadn't even realized that some of the swallowing issues I've been having lately could be attributed to the pilocarpine.

So I took a couple of days off from the Salagen, and then started back, making a conscious attempt to note the effects, good and bad.

I am not convinced that using the Salagen/pilocarpine is worth the money for my situation. Masking the flavours of food, and the concern about my tongue are starting to outweigh the benefits. Other than the swallowing issue, I can live with the other side effects.

I think I know why the doctors were not quick to prescribe it for me.

A New Toy I Recommend for Everyone!

2009-01-26T12:33:00.003-07:00

Last weekend I redeemed a gift certificate for a Nintendo Wii that I was given for Christmas, and I am really glad that I did. This thing is a joy! Its not your average computer gaming console, at all.

The actual machine, the 'console', is small... its actually smaller than some books I have. There are no wires from the console to the controllers, so no wires to constantly be fussing with, rearranging, or tripping over. And while there are bang-bang-shoot-'em-up games available, the real fun for G and I has been with the interactive Wii Sports games. To be fair, I did grab a Star Wars 'Light Sabre Duels' disk, and the James Bond 'Quantum of Solace' disk, but the Wii Sports is getting all the play.

When I say that it is 'interactive', I mean that it is the one gaming system that gets you off the couch and on your feet to play. The remote controllers, and they way they interface with the game actually demand that you get physical with the game. The controllers have some sort of sensor in them that tracks where you are holding it, relative to the TV, plus it tracks how fast you move it, what direction you move it, and even if you change the orientation of it while you are moving it. The golf game has you swinging like you where swinging a golf club, the tennis game has you moving and swinging, and flicking your wrist for a little extra zing, bowling requires something approximating a proper swing/release and allows for backspin and topspin through changing the orientation of the controller in your hand, and the boxing game has you really punching. You will work up a sweat... its seems to be good cardio! We played with older brother and sister-in-law on the weekend, and it was a lot of fun... especially when the sister-in-law really got into the boxing game! Holy cow! You should have seen her! Talk about repressed aggression! And last night the girls were over for dinner, and they seemed to have a blast with it as well.

We have now added a Wii Fit module to the game console... not entirely configured yet, but it shows true promise. It has a yoga programme, a basic fitness (strength and cardio) and several balance programmes embedded.

I have noticed that the demand it puts on my movement is very similar to a number of the stretching exercises that my physiotherapist assigned to get my shoulder back in shape... I can really understand why the unit is becoming a big hit in seniors' lodges.

With even the limited games that we have at the moment, I would recommend this gaming system to anyone! It engages everyone in the household... together or separately. Definitely worth a look... and it is relatively inexpensive!

That thing on the end of my nose? Not cancerous!

2009-01-23T14:34:00.000-07:00

Over a week ago, Tuesday, January 13, 2009 to be precise, I saw Dr. Groot about the growth on the end of my nose. And, guess what? It was a wart after all! And with a very theatrical flourish, he dispensed a puff of his magic spray (liquid nitrogen)… I’m pretty sure that I was in the same room with him for less than 5 minutes. Very personable guy, but the conversation, the actual consultation was extremely superficial.

The wart and surrounding skin behaves as if it has been burned. Within two days the external wart fell off while I was washing my face… and it was a gentle scrub at that. The skin around the site blistered and scabbed. Three or four days later the scab came off with a gentle tug. Today there is a small, red blemish. I expect that to be gone within days.

Latest Swallow Tests... the videos

2009-01-07T15:07:00.008-07:00

On December 23, 2008 I visited with Irene at iRSM, once called COMPRU, at the Misericordia Hospital for my one year post surgical swallow and speech assessment. What I have posted here are two of the fluoroscope movies that they made of me swallowing various 'weights' of things... all infused with barium so that it shows up. Thank you to Irene for sending me the clips!

This first clip is a bit dark, and a wee bit difficult to see anything unless you know what you are looking for... I will try to lighten it before I post it on the website.

In this shot, I am facing to your left. You will see my jaw open, the liquid go in, and then the route it takes down my throat. If the image is bright enough on your monitor, you will be able to see how my tongue works, and the musculature in my mouth/throat. You also should see the little flap that opens and closes to protect the windpipe as food and drink head for the oesophagus. Just keep an eye on that bit of a void above the windpipe...

This second clip is a bit easier to see, what you can see is evidence of my primary complaint. When I swallow anything with a 'heavy' or 'full' consistency, in this example its a barium infused pudding, some of the material gets trapped on a ledge above my windpipe. According to Irene, this is not that unusual with the type of surgery that I have had. This is supposed to be comforting?

For those of you who have eaten with me lately, you may begin to understand why I consume so much liquid with my meals... the first video shows simple liquids sliding right on through; this second video shows why I need to be constantly washing the food down. It is more than just the 'dry mouth' issues, which are not to be discounted, but, with the shelving effect seen in the videos, contribute to an interesting challenge.

Happy Birthday, Mom!

2009-01-06T10:06:00.000-07:00

Today is my mother's 75th birthday!

Happy Birthday, Mom!!

Be it resolved...

2009-01-03T20:45:00.002-07:00

...that I will spend two hours per week painting, drawing or potting.
...that I will spend two hours per week writing.
...that I will spend two hours per week reading fiction... good fiction.
...that I will see one live theatre piece per month.
...that I will get a Wii... my guilty pleasure for the year...

2009-01-02T19:12:00.004-07:00

After an afternoon of exploring various electronics shops pricing plasma tvs of varying sizes and configurations for Scott's studio, and a separate one for their home, Scott drove me half way up the mountain that West Vancouver huddles at the foot of (Grouse Mountain?) to take in the view... unfortunately I didn't have either one of our cameras with me and was reduced to taking photos with my Blackberry...

This first photo is with the ubiquitous Scott and the Greater Vancouver Area in the background, with the inner harbour, etc; a view looking southeast.

This second photo is looking southwesterly-ish... the peninsula beyond the ships is the University of British Columbia, and the ships are in the outer harbour. These ships are ocean going cargo ships... which should give you an idea of the size of them, and therefore the scale of the view in the photo... lovely, eh?

One of the things that I have been a bit evangelistic about while I've been out here is the idea of digital eReaders. I dragged first Gordon, and now Scott off to Sony Style stores to get them to have a look at the Sony version of the eReader. The digital book is a concept who's time has just about come... Gordon seemed interested because of the amount of sales related information that could be uploaded and maintained without needed to carry around bulky product binders, while the hook with Scott seems to be the advantage it may offer to his aged mother. And me, I just want something that allows me to carry lots of books, both for reference and entertainment in a convenient, lightweight format that still allows me to make notes, add bookmarks and flip through quickly. The only thing about the current crop of eReaders out there today is that the best ones don't come in colour. Sure, they use something called eINK technology, which is very good, but they don't reproduce colour photos/drawings/charts in anything but gray scale.

I may have to hold out for another six months to a year...

Happy New Year!

2009-01-01T14:41:00.003-07:00

Nothing really important to say today, just to wish everyone a Happy New Year...

We spent New Year's Eve at a small dinner party with friends in West Vancouver, hosted by Scott and Cheryl Swan. In attendance was the lovely and talented Merrilyn Gann, and we were joined later in the evening by the Mayor of the District of North Vancouver, Richard Walton and his wife, Celeste. The accomplishments of some of our friends never fails to amaze and amuse me...

2008-12-30T13:05:00.004-07:00

We've been in the lower mainland for two days and a bit, now... and I continue to be surprised by the amount of snow that lingers... huge drifts of wet, heavy stuff. It rains a bit, then it freezes a bit, then it snows a bit... nothing out of the ordinary for Ontario, and not that uncommon for parts of Alberta. But to the greater Vancouver area, this is causing major consternation! There just aren't enough snowplows. Heck, there aren't enough snow shovels! The sidewalks are not being shovelled. Driveways are not being shovelled. People have simply dropped their vehicles on clear patches of the road in front of their homes, making it very difficult to get around on the side streets. And the secondary roads that have been plowed have been done with such caution for the curbing and property frontages that the passable portions are very narrow... a lane-and-a-half in way too many places. The municipalities really haven't got the infrastructure to delivery ice melt/sand in the proper mix for the climate. I must note, however, that I haven't seen a huge number of traffic accidents... people are very wary of the conditions. If this was Edmonton, they'd simply ignore the potential and become the disasters...

Currently we are staying with friends in Langley; they've got the right vehicle for travel with these road conditions, and they live in a townhouse complex that has good drainage for dealing with the bulk of the snow and rain... but tonight we are transferring over to friends in West Vancouver who are not set up for this quite so well. The West Vancouverites have had their two vehicles (a vintage Ford Mustang and a late model Jaguar) trapped in their respective garages by the snow build up in the access alley, or lane. The lane rolls down into a bit of a depression, a step on the way down to the sea, and the snow has been collecting there making things a bit of a challenge... when we spoke with them on Sunday, they had been housebound for two days and were about to try their escape.

The kid and her air travel woes...

2008-12-28T13:04:00.002-07:00

Our eldest daughter finally made it to Toronto yesterday, and hopefully will be finding her way to Pittsburgh today... but, in her parlance, "What a gong show!"

J started out for Harrisburg, Pennsylvania on Christmas Day... routing from Edmonton to Vancouver to Seattle to Harrisburg. Her flight into Vancouver was cancelled. So, she was re-scheduled and re-routed to fly Edmonton to Toronto to Cleveland to Harrisburg yesterday, which she did, but only part way. She managed to get as far as Toronto before ice fogs cancelled her flight into Cleveland.

While standing in line for three and a half hours to get her flights juggled, yet again, she passed out, falling and smacking her head with some force on the simulated marble floors of Toronto International. EMTs were called...

She passed out because she had nothing to eat or drink for over three and a half hours... she was afraid to leave her place in line, and of course there are rules about abandoning luggage et.al. in an airport, or in asking for others to look after it while you seek out refreshment.

Aside from the goose egg sized bump on her head, she appears to be okay.

When she did come to... and she was already out of line, she made an emergency phone call to her roommate in Edmonton, who then called me asking if I could make a booking for J at the Travelodge near the airport just in case she didn't get a flight out that night. I was, unfortunately, sitting in the middle of the Edmonton airport fearing the worse for my own flight to Vancouver. Oh, and J doesn't have a cell phone... she cancelled it to save money. J was phoning Edmonton from a payphone using spare change; there was no way to phone her back. And did I tell you that she also recently cancelled all her credit cards? The girl is just dreadful with money management...

Okay, so I called the national reservation line for Travelodge and was told that they would be more than happy to reserve a room for her, but needed my credit card number to hold the room, given that it was already after 4 pm local time... I asked the obvious question; what happens if she gets a flight out and doesn't use the room? "Oh, well, we'll just have to charge the 'no show' to your credit card, sir!"

I decided not to make the reservation... instead I phoned the Travelodge directly and spoke with a lovely woman who was really quite helpful, up to a point. First of all she assured me that there were plenty of rooms available, and that if J did show up, they would be able to give her one without an 'official' reservation. Secondly, she would be sure to give J a message to call me immediately. So far so good, eh? Now it gets just plain stupid. She also told me that she could not accept my credit card as payment for the room, should J show up on their doorstep, unless I could fax her my signature, and an image of both sides of the card.

Travelodge will take your 'third party' credit card for a reservation, and 'hit' it if your party doesn't show, but their company policy is not to take a third party credit card for payment on a room actually occupied.

J did show up at the Travelodge while we were in the air on our way to Vancouver. The Travelodge had a real problem with her wanting to pay cash... and only gave her a room when she assured them that she would get in touch with me, and I would be providing a credit card number, as soon as I landed. The hotel manager, Brendan, was gracious enough to break the rules to allow me to do the 'third party' thing for her room...

Damn, but this is turning into a very expensive December!

Its our understanding that J will be on a flight to Pittsburgh later this afternoon... her friend in Harrisburg will be driving the 3 hours to pick her up there. I just wonder how long its going to take for her to get back to Edmonton...

Delayed...

2008-12-27T12:45:00.007-07:00

We are supposed to be in BC with friends at this point. We aren't. Vancouver airport just doesn't seem to be able to deal with snow and freezing rain. We had arrived at the Edmonton airport on time yesterday afternoon, having checked before we left home that the flight was posted as being 'on time', when all of a sudden the gentleman at the gate announced that we would be delayed leaving for a minimum of two hours because Vancouver (YVR) had shut down to deal with the snow and rain. After an hour of waiting, the airline (Westjet) just gave up and cancelled the flight. We were sent home... and we try again this afternoon at 5:15 pm.

I do worry about both Vancouver's and Victoria's ability to deal with snow and crappy weather; what the heck are they going to do if the weather turns foul during the 2010 Olympics? Hopefully this botched Christmas season was a wake up call to the airport authorities, and the airlines!

Westjet was very good... very helpful, and very cheerful throughout the process. Avis, on the hand, was less than accommodating. I phoned the Vancouver outfit that we were supposed to rent a vehicle from to let them know that we wouldn't be arriving until the next day. But they informed me that they didn't have a car to rent me the next day! I offered to pay the extra day for the car that they were going to give me if we had arrived on time, but they are unable to process payments over the phone! So, we end up loosing a day's vehicle rental... but they end up loosing a customer. I've booked a car with another renter, to be picked up on Sunday.

The other thing that annoyed me was the cost of the cab to get home to St. Albert... I've done the math over and over, and can't believe that it is cheaper to drive my own vehicle to the airport and pay for parking there for the week than it is to take a cab both ways. It really is no wonder that the airport authority has had to expand its parking facilities, and that the taxi queue at the airport is always very long and never seems to move... I suspect that a lot of the greater Edmonton residents using the airport have figured out that it is cheaper to 'park and fly'.

I just keep muttering to myself; we could have driven the jeep to Vancouver...

In the meantime, I figured that I would just post a couple of pictures; me, my father, and G., and my father and G. These were taken last week when we attended the memorial of one of Dad's sisters in Victoria...

Merry Christmas... Ho Ho Ho... Damn!

2008-12-25T22:28:00.007-07:00

Its 10:30 pm on Christmas Day evening... G. and my younger sister have retired for the day, leaving me with time to update this blog. And yes, I do know that I haven't touched it for a couple of weeks... and a few things have happened, not all of which I'll go into tonight, but I will get to them eventually... like the trip to my aunt's memorial service in Victoria, with snow (wierd damned weather this year!) and the rental car that I banged up (damn! but I wish there was someone/something to blame that on), visits with my Dad, and the other two aunts, cousins and staying at a fabulous little boutique hotel, The Magnolia... and then there is the latest round of visits to the heath care support team; iRSM for the swallows (expect a new floroscope in the new year) and the Cross Cancer Institute physio team about my shoulder. But for tonight we stick to the last couple of days.

By the way, the weather in Canada sucks. Why the hell do people live here? For the first time in nearly twenty years, the entire country, including Victoria and Vancouver, is having a white Christmas. The normal average temperature for Christmas Day in Edmonton is -7.5 degrees C. Today it was -22 C. (Throw in an expletive wherever it makes more dramatic sense.) I tell ya, its @#$%^&* cold out there... and I'm not enjoying it this year. My hands have never been colder... and it feels like its all the damn time. I once enjoyed the cold, and the snow. Really. Not this year. It just feels like an imposition. And this bloody weather may compromise our attempt to get to Vancouver to see friends. We're supposed to fly out tomorrow afternoon, but it may not happen... the snow in Vancouver has caused more than one flight to be cancelled today, and yesterday, and the day before...

In fact eldest daughter J's flights routing her through Vancouver>Seattle>Harrisburg got pulled today. She's back home trying to figure out how to get into New York to be with her good buddy to plan a wedding; J gets to be 'Maid of Honour'.

And that flight was one of the reasons that we did something a wee bit different for Christmas. Well, that and the need for our youngest, K, to spend the day with her in-laws and out-laws. There's some awkwardness there that needed to be addressed, so we (her mother and I) graciously agreed to give the Christmas Day dinner a pass, and instead we did a Christmas Eve dinner... with fifteen. Add the appropriate expletives as you see fit.

We decided that a roast of beef was fit Christmas Eve fare; we selected a 15 lb sirloin roast. Do you know how BIG a 15 pound roast of beef is? Add another expletive.

The dinner guests included K and husband, J and a posse of 3 (all good, lovely, single young women who seem to take a real interest in our world), good friends Nancy and John, with their son and his girl friend, and then John's parents, Don and Terri. And don't forget my younger sister, who drove up from Calgary. Quite honestly, our place is just a wee bit small for fourteen and the obligatory dogs... the dinner table really only handles 12 with any level of comfort. And I was 'forbidden' to set up a kid's table...

Dinner went off without a hitch. Well, mostly, anyway... timing on the Yorkshire puddings was a bit off, and one of J's posse had a momentary breakdown as the weight of her world came crashing in on her. (It is so tough to be a witness to a young woman's pain... an ugly breakup with a lover, the schizophrenic mother that she has had to invoke power-of-attorney over, the questionable support from her siblings, and having to work on Christmas Day...)

Good booze, though. Have you tried any of the "Dan Akroyd" wines? Surprisingly good...

After dinner, we managed to squeeze the electronic piano into the dining room so that Daniel, son of Nancy, could play for us... and that's when the phone rang. A good friend who has recently moved into the condominium complex returned home to a cracked toilet tank and flooded home. (This is the same newly divorced woman who has threatened to have the sentence "If you can see this there had better be significant jewellery involved!" tattooed in a rather intimate location.)

So I go running off, with ladder over one shoulder, carrying a drill and extension cord (got to drain the water out of the dry wall ceilings before they collapse; the offending toilet was on the second floor), and buckets and towels to staunch the flow, while younger sister is regaled with stories of flying Phantoms in Europe by Nancy's father (ex-fighter pilot, of all things), Daniel is trying desperately to remember suitably Christmassy tunes but ending up with Billy Joelish stuff, G is trying to convince our guests to eat dessert, and J's friends start nodding off. K's husband snuck upstairs to the big screen to watch the end of the Hawaii/Notre Dame game and wasn't even missed.

By the time I got back, we were down to just the girls, the husband and the posse... and gifts were being exchanged.

G. had insisted that we give the youngest daughter a book on pregnancy, over my objections. I didn't feel that we should be applying that sort of pressure... and I'm not ready to be a grandfather, damn it. The timing couldn't have been more perfect... K quietly announced that we would see the rest of our present in about eight months....

So much for the mythos of 'Silent Night'.

End of the Week

2008-12-12T12:50:00.004-07:00

I have spent my last work week sequestered with 14 mid level/senior level IT managers from our current client reviewing the results of a significant RFP (Request for Proposal). The ‘winner’ of this RFP will be awarded a multi-million dollar contract to provide services province-wide. The participants have all analyzed the responses from the qualified Vendors in detail, and we’re now meeting to establish consensus. My role is to monitor the ‘fairness’ of the process, and not really to provide opinions. This stuff is really interesting… seriously. I’m listening to this group rationalize their scoring for questions such as “Supplier should describe its approach to disentangling the Services from other service providers without interrupting any services to End Users.” Huh? You’d have to have been involved in the entire process to get it… My assignment to monitor the fairness of the evaluation of the RFP responses is a continuation of the work I was doing before my ‘hiatus’. It is actually quite interesting to see what they did with the strategy that I helped define when they finalized the RFP.

This evaluation process is not something that you would normally find in the private sector. Yes, this is public sector stuff… This evaluation process has been going on since September 24th… and will continue on into January. The level of detail they are going into is gratifying… at least we know that at least the public sector IT teams are being very careful with how they spend tax dollars. I’m not convinced that the private sector would expend this kind of energy analyzing the RFP bids. But by the same token, I’m also not sure that the private sector would write such detailed RFPs…

***

I did take some time out of the evaluation process to get a cracked filling fixed; the filling was cracked as part of the surgery last year.

***

And I was supposed to meet with my speech/swallow therapist; the receptionist at iRSM screwed up the appointment, however. It was clearly marked on my chart, but the digital appointment system showed other people in my time slot. I was very annoyed, mostly 'cause I couldn't justify not going back to work...

***

Today is our 20th wedding anniversary.

Overheard...

2008-12-03T18:22:00.004-07:00

Apparently Ed Schreyer, Governor General from 1979 to 1984 said something like the following today in an interview on CBC:

"The People choose a Parliament; the Parliament chooses a Government." And he should know the Constitution... he's been there, with the Joe Clark minority government that lost a confidence vote.

That being said, if Parliament (the elected representatives) choose a coalition government by majority vote of the House of Commons, then democracy has been served.

Federal Coalitions and Municipal Absurdities

2008-12-03T13:57:00.003-07:00

I spent the early part of last evening watching television… bouncing back and forth from the news channels that are reporting on the state of affairs in Ottawa to the local station that broadcasts the budget deliberations of the St. Albert City Council. What a mess, on both counts.

Federal Politics
Astounding! I am absolutely astounded by the way the media is portraying how the Canadian people are reacting to the thought of a Coalition Government! If you were to listen to the media, it’s the one issue that is ‘top of mind’ for all Canadians. Wow. If we could only get that kind of interest in an election…

I really doubt that there are that many people who are that concerned. In the client workplace that I am currently working from it is rarely mentioned… and I am working from Provincial Government offices. In fact, I think that the only person who raises the topic is me!

This silliness over the undemocratic nature of a Coalition is just that; silliness. I’ve been told that a number of European countries function with coalition governments. In fact, Switzerland has had a coalition government since 1959, or some such date. As I’ve mentioned before, Israel has a coalition government.

I’m hearing, again through media filtering, that business owners/leaders of all stripes are angry that the Conservatives presented the economic update that they did. I’m hearing that business is angry with Harper for being so bloody petty. I’m hearing that business is starting to question whether Harper should be PM… lack of leadership issues. And I’m getting mixed signals on the nature of the Coalition. Some damn the Liberals and NDP for getting into bed with the Bloc, while others are pleased that Mr. Duceppe is involved because he’s the only one with any real integrity.

I am pleased to see that the media commentators, even the talk show moderators, are finally laying the blame for the current Federal political situation at Stephen Harper’s doorstep. There are acknowledgements that Mr. Harper has been acting mean-spiritedly. There have even been comments made, out loud, in the print media and on the air, that Mr. Harper should be replaced by someone like Mr. Prentice.

Municipal Politics
Now, before you read the next bit, just be aware that I do have a close personal relationship with one of the players…my comments, observations are not entirely dispassionate.

One of the most interesting experiences for a novice to the municipal political world is to just sit back and watch how it works, or doesn’t, as the case may be. The St. Albert City Council Budget Deliberations, currently being broadcast on the local cable provider’s community channel (channel 10 in St. Albert/Edmonton) are a brilliant way to observe. These Budget Deliberations are conducted in a format referred to as ‘Committee of the Whole’; it is not a City Council meeting, per se, but it is the entire City Council confronting representatives from the City Administration, and they follow a good chunk of the rules of order used in a regular Council Meeting, with the occasional deviation, and a slightly ‘informal’ air.

One of the challenges about this formalized approach to budget deliberation is that it fosters the perception that the various Administration Teams are not allowed to defend their budget submissions unless specifically asked to. It has the appearance of a lopsided ‘don’t speak unless spoken to’ environment, similar to regular Council Meetings. What the optics seem to reveal is that the Administration has submitted a budget for the next year, City Council has gone through the budget line by line and has made a series of motions challenging specific line items, usually by changing the scope or reducing the monies. Each motion is voted on. In some cases there is a defense of the line item offered by a representative of Administration, if they are given an opportunity to defend the line item. In very rare cases, a member of the Council will champion the line item. In even rarer occasions, a member of the Administration Team is called to speak for the defense of the line item who has some passion for what that item means to the provision of services to the public.

These cost cutting motions range from quashing of the acquisition of new goods and services, stifling the improvement/development of existing goods and services, reduction/removal of budget items that support the basic tools needed to provide service to the public, to defeating new staffing initiatives. An example that resonated with me was the emasculation of a Capital Projects Project Management Team.

Unfortunately the public viewing these deliberations are not getting a true sense of the impact of this sort of decision making process. The real implications of the cuts are not necessarily being adequately discussed on camera, again, presenting a very lopsided view.

What also seems to be happening in the background is quite interesting and a little disconcerting. The Mayor himself is admitting on a fairly regular basis that if a member of an Administration Team manages to get the Mayor aside and have a private chat with him about a specific motion (the bulk of the motions are recorded in advance, and the bulk of the cost reduction motions seem to be coming from the Mayor), pitching their case personally, he tends to withdraw the punitive motion during the Budget meetings. If the Administration Team that is affected by one of his cost cutting initiatives plays by the rules and works hard to prepare Information Requests that substantiate their case, they do not get the same level of hearing in the Budget Meeting as they would through a meeting in an office or a ‘chance’ exchange in a corridor, and for the most part, lose their case, and the corresponding line item.

I do wonder how a City like St. Albert is going to maintain current levels of service to the public with such cuts. If memory serves, there was another Mayor some years ago who got the shock of his life when he discovered that the majority of the public was more interested in the quality of services provided rather than in the tax increase. There was a vocal minority who did not truly represent the interests of the majority with their complaints about taxes.

And again this time there does not seem to be any attempt at managing the public’s expectations.

My biggest concern, aside from the impact to my ‘internal contacts’, is the effect it will have on staff moral, and then on the delivery of services.

One of the good things of broadcasting these ‘Committee of the Whole’ sessions, is that the public can see the behaviour and effectiveness of each member of Council; which Councilors are prepared for the meetings, having read the submissions from Administration, and which haven’t bothered to do their homework. And they can see the behaviour of the Mayor.

Elected officials at this level, in this size of municipality are there to provide governance. In most cases they are amateurs when it comes to administering a city of the size of St. Albert. Governance is turning to City Administration and saying “Cut $2 Million from the Operating Budget.” Leave the actual cuts up to the professionals who actually run the City. Unfortunately what is happening in St. Albert is that the City Council, led by the Mayor, is attempting to manage in areas which it is not qualified to manage. There is a reason why you hire professional municipal managers, just like there is a reason why you hire lawyers and accountants, and plumbers. Some jobs are just too big and complex for the average resident. And this Council is not just ‘managing’, it is micro-managing.

More Political Duplicity

2008-11-30T18:28:00.003-07:00

My gawd... they're all behaving badly.

The Conservatives wiretapped a NDP conference call, and have released only parts of it to the media.

The NDP appear to have been negotiating with the Bloc to form a coalition for some time now... and the first time they had discussions on a coalition government was with Stephen Harper and the Bloc when Martin had his minority Liberal government.

Holy cow... the 'undemocratic' formation of a coalition government is a page right of out Harper's own playbook. No wonder he's so upset!

I think that the Conservatives should really rethink whether or not Harper should stay or go. Personally, I think that I'd get behind Jim Prentice...

More thoughts on the Political...

2008-11-29T11:03:00.006-07:00

I would just like to share some thoughts...

Mr. Flaherty's 'economic update' was a piece of flummery delivered and defended with arrogance. There is an emerging climate of fear out there... yes, it is largely unwarranted, but we all know what the mind of the 'mob' can do with the smallest goading. Generally, the 'mob' had no expectations. Unfortunately, Mr. Flaherty delivered to those expectations.

John Baird's attitude on 'As It Happens' last evening was equally arrogant, and a wee bit revisionist. He is generally such a well spoken man, I was a bit surprised at points. I listened to the program and was alternately galled and incensed.

Most of the people I have spoken to/emailed have the perception that the tax incentives offered as 'lasting initiatives for stimuli rather than following the American approach of cash injections' is based on tax cuts that happened or were promised long before a crisis was announced. Most people I spoke with were hard pressed to identify anything new.

The 25% change in the redemption of RIFFs is not enough to make seniors comfortable with the fate of their investments.

Cutting the discretionary spending of MPs constricts a source of revenue for some Canadians and the companies they work for. Not very stimulating.

The spectre of another $300 million election should not be viewed with such revulsion. What an interesting way to inject $300 million back into the economy. And isn't that what people want: some sort of stimuli? Maybe an election this time will get more voter participation and a clearly mandated government will emerge.

There needs to something concrete for the manufacturing sector as soon as possible.

The auto industry needs to be spanked for inefficiencies, and then given an incentive to do better. The Conservative Party and the bureaucratic spin doctors and publicists need to better publicize the letter that was sent to the Detroit automakers... very few people seem to know that its out there.

Telling a unionized workforce that one of the intrinsic rights of collective bargaining has been suspended was kinda dumb. Organized Labour nationally will get behind the NDP again, or maybe even the Liberals to protect against a domino effect that might further erode workers' rights.

Coming off an election where the mobilized Arts Community was at least partially responsible for the Conservative Party not gaining a majority, it seems a little vindictive, and short sighted to have slapped them by wiping out international travel/shipping subsidies administered by External Affairs, shutting down the Portrait Gallery bidding process, to name just a couple of the programs that have been quietly dismantled since the election.

Mr. Harper did promise to work more closely with the Opposition Parties. That could not possibly have happened given the week's events. The media (and those who didn't vote Conservative) are having a field day with what's been going on this week.

The Opposition Parties are starting to prove that they are able to 'play nice' together. The media (and those who didn't vote Conservative) are having a field day with what's been going on since Thursday.

The media (and those who didn't vote Conservative) have been able to interpret Mr. Harper's comment "The opposition has every right to defeat the government, but Stephane Dion does not have the right to take power without an election." as a narcissistic response. The misguided retort that I have heard most is; "...but does Stephen Harper have the right to hold on to power without owning the popular vote?". Slightly over 165,000 less people voted for the Conservative Party overall, than they did in 2006. Yes, less people voted this time, which may account for part of the discrepancy, so that may be a bit of a 'red herring'. But the Conservative Party only achieved 38% of the popular vote. That means that 62% of the voting public question whether the Conservative Party should govern.

Mr. Harper was seen to be 'playing politics' when he broke the Conservative Party brokered law on election timing. Not very 'democratic'.

How can anyone really call the formation of a coalition government 'undemocratic' in light of the way so many parliaments work around the world? Think particularly of Israel's Knesset as a prime example. It gets done all the time... with varying degrees of success. In Canada's case, a coalition government would represent 62% of the popular vote. I believe that to be a majority.

Poking the Opposition Parties with a sharp stick by removing the subsidy was inappropriate, especially after having passed other measures to restrict political party fundraising during the last parliament. Mixed messaging from Mr. Flaherty and 'government sources' about whether the subsidies to the political parties would be part of the ways and means vote doesn't help.

All parties should be aware of and use Ms. May's popularity; her party could be a valuable grass roots ally going forward. A fourth viable party can work to the advantage of the Conservative Party, or the Liberals, or the NDP. It kinda depends who taps into their energy and growing power base first.

My advice to Mr. Harper and to the rest of the Conservative caucus; for the short term, stop overtly playing politics and govern appropriate to the needs of the country. The Conservative Party stands to lose the privilege.

Reflect, reconcile, consult and then act. But do it quickly.

J.'s Surgery

2008-11-29T10:51:00.002-07:00

J. had her surgery yesterday. Everything seems to be just fine... she's as annoyed about everything as she ever was. The real challenge with J. and the surgery is that, as a nurse, she knows too much... it contributed to the anxiety. We don't have the final results, or a statement from the doctors yet, but are expecting a phone call today with details.

Certainty...

2008-11-28T13:01:00.002-07:00

We've had a death in the family... one of my father's sisters passed away during heart surgery. It leaves a huge hole in my father's family. And it has made me realize that that entire generation of my family is heading for the threshold... its an odd thing to contemplate. I suppose I've been in denial about all of this, in spite of my father's cancer (hell, I've been in denial about my own!) and the loss of my mother's oldest brother (one of the younger boys passed some time ago). Somehow, one just assumes that they will always be there, an assumption that is so easy given how infrequently I see them.

Politics...

2008-11-28T12:47:00.004-07:00

I am solidly behind the effort of the NDP and the Liberals to cobble together a coalition government... it certainly made the Conservatives sit up and take notice! They have reversed their position on hobbling the other parties through the removal of subsidies. Yay! Maybe the Greens will live to fight another day.

And just maybe the Conservatives will get off their ideological hobby horse and come up with some real stimulus ideas for the economy.

In the event that the NDP and Liberals do put together a coalition government, I would nominate Ed Broadbent to act as the interim PM... but he'd have to have a seat to do that, wouldn't he? Well, then, failing that, what about giving it to one of the two independents? No? Then who? And that will be the toughest challenge facing the creation of a coalition government...

Its been a year...

2008-11-26T13:52:00.005-07:00

It was one year ago today that I underwent surgery for an oropharyngeal carcinoma that was located in my right tonsil.

What they did:
The surgery was one of the ugliest, most invasive procedures that I could have imagined being performed on me. It involved removal of the tumor and a clearance margin of 4 centimeters (or was it 8 centimeters?) around the tumor site, and the reconstruction of that area.

There were at least two teams working on me, and the operation lasted almost eight hours. You know, I just realized that I’ve forgotten how much time they actually took. They had given us estimates that ranged from 8 to 14 hours… I need to look that up again.

Okay, so I can’t give you a sequence to the surgery because of the two teams, but here’s a summary of what they did;
· They popped out a tooth at the front centerline of my jaw. Then they split/broke the jaw at that point. They cut down through the lip and through the floor of the mouth so that the jaw swung open sideways; the technique is called a mandibular swing.
· They then pulled the tongue forward and removed the tumor and the tonsil. They took, as part of the clear margin, the right lingual tonsil and a portion of the base of the tongue.
· It’s not good to leave huge gaps in the structure of the mouth and throat, so they filled in the area with a piece of muscle taken out of my left forearm. Why the forearm muscle? Apparently it’s been proven to ‘learn’ the functions of the tongue segment that it’s replacing.
· They also took a chunk of the radial artery in my left forearm to rebuild the vascular structure at the back of the throat/tongue to ensure blood flow.
· A skim of the left thigh skin was taken to replace what was taken from the forearm.
· They transplanted at least one saliva gland to a position on the lower jaw to save it from the radiation treatments. Radiation will incapacitate saliva glands. A platinum wire was placed in the jaw to mark its spot; basically a ‘do not radiate’ sign for the radiology oncologist.
· They did a neck dissection and removed all the lymph nodes from both sides of my neck. When they did the dissection, they had to 'manipulate' the spinal accessory nerve.
· They put it all back together again. And yes, they put a plate into my jaw to hold it together. And no, it doesn’t trigger airport metal detectors.

Compared to last year;
On the morning of the surgery, I weighed in at 208 lbs. This morning I weigh 161.2 lbs. For reference, I weighed 165 lbs. on my wedding day twenty years ago. So, in a year, I have a net loss of 46.8 lbs. Not a weight loss program that I’d suggest. It took me twenty years to amass that much weight; its not going back on quickly.

In theory, I’m still the same height. The challenge is that I slouch dreadfully. The damage to the spinal accessory nerve has caused the right shoulder to pull forward. I still tend to let my head droop. Working at a desk all day is contributing to the droop and the slouch.

My hair has returned, sort of. It seems really thin at the forehead hairline. Well, maybe it was that thin prior to the surgery/chemo… I had a quick look at a bad photo of me at K.’s wedding, and it did look a little thin. But, what hair has come back is darker, and the hair on the back of my head is really wavy. Too bad it wasn’t that wavy when I had long hair twenty years ago. And the less grey is good!

My beard, on the other hand, is really causing me some consternation. The beard is thinner on the right side of my face than it is on the left side. Both sides are thinner than it used to be. My mustache is fine. I have grown a goatee to hide the chin scar, which doesn’t look too terrible, if you don’t get too close. The beard that I can grow is almost entirely white. I mostly stay clean shaven, with the exception of the mustache and goatee. I do miss my beard.

The skin on my face and neck tends to be dry, much drier that it ever was before. The area of my eyebrows has become seriously dry to the point that I spend extra time rubbing moisturizer into the brows to stop the flaking.

Inside the head, things are definitely different, and weirder, and I’m not talking about how my mind now works. My teeth are migrating, compensating for the single tooth that was taken out of the centre of my lower jaw. In fact the gap has closed considerably. The bone break no longer ‘hurts’, but I can still notice it when I bite down hard. Chewing is so much easier now, although when I open wide, it still is not as wide as pre-surgery. Apparently that is because of the radiation rebound effect on the musculature. So I try to remember to stretch regularly, usually while driving which is probably very disconcerting for the drivers in opposing traffic.

There is some sort of muscle/tissue problem inside the mouth, along the right side. The area of the mouth floor is tight and not as flexible as the left side. But, remember, the surgery took a chunk of the back, right side of the tongue, and they did actually split the jaw and slice through the tissues in the floor of my mouth somewhere.

And mentioning the tongue… it has about 80% of the flexibility it did a year ago. It also feels a bit shorter, in that I can’t quite reach the areas on my teeth and gums that I used to be able to. It’s pretty scary how much you use the tongue, and for what. It’s not just to speak. The tongue plays a huge part in how you chew and swallow. And it autonomically (no, not automatically) wipes debris form your teeth and gums. The continued lack of flexibility prevents me from reaching all the way back to swipe my back teeth to clean them. And it feels weird all down the right edge of the tongue to the tip, sorta like the electrical charge that one feels when touching a 9 volt battery to your tongue to test it, only much less intense. But all in all, the tongue is so much better than even two months ago. I have high hopes for its near total recovery. There’s just the issue of the dryness.

The dryness of the tongue, which does begin to affect my speech after a time, is the direct result of the dry mouth syndrome brought on by the radiation damage to the saliva glands. They will never repair themselves, so I’m resigned to working with the one that was transplanted. I am experimenting with the drug pilocarpine to stimulate the last gland to Herculean effort. It will never be enough, but hey, every little bit will help.

Without the saliva, eating is a chore. I take a sip of liquid with each bite that needs to be chewed. And then I can swallow. Yes, the swallowing is pretty darned good, at about 85% of the original capability. Take a look, if you can find it, at the blog entry with the fluoroscopes of the swallowing reflex. It really isn’t as bad as I complain about… if I am diligent about the liquids. I eat with water and milk. Fruit juices tend to dry things out dramatically. Wine, well, it depends, but wine tends to have the same effect as fruit juice. Scotch, for some reason, is just fine. Thank goodness. But you don’t drink that stuff a tumbler at a time, unfortunately, which might help to give me the confidence to sing in public. At the moment I don’t sing as much as I croak. I don’t see that changing. But I can speak, and so long as I keep the tongue, and therefore the mouth hydrated I can speak for a long time.

The only other internal effect is my hearing. Now the change to my hearing was not as a result of the surgery, which in theory is what today’s lengthy note is about, but was a casualty of the chemotherapy. Cisplatin, the chemo drug, wiped out my ability to hear a particular frequency range, and gave me tinnitus, most pronounced in my left ear. I have hopes that the range will return; it’s already started coming back. But I suspect that I am stuck with the tiny glockenspiel and the constant low level white noise.

Back to the exterior: Complete range of motion in my neck has returned, although radiation rebounding continues to tighten up the tissues. I am numb in a band that extends from a point the size of a finger tip just under the left ear, forward under the chin at about three fingers width and around the neck under the right ear where the numbest flares up into my scalp to about three fingers width above, and including the right ear. It also covers an area out onto my right shoulder to the top of my arm at about a hands width. This is a major improvement! And mobility of the shoulder/arm is good and getting better.

Scarring will always be an issue. Vanity will determine how much of an issue at various points in my life. The doctors have said that the radiation and chemo therapies have effectively aged me by ten years. And yet I’ve been told that I actually look like I’m ten years younger. Okay, so we like that kind of stroking and we work with moisturizer to keep the skin looking its best and try other strategies to cope with the scars. The centre-of-the-jaw scar is covered by my goatee. The scars on my neck from the dissection will eventually get lost in an old man’s neck, but for now they’re really not that noticeable. The asymmetrical bulge of the transplanted saliva gland is the most annoying thing. I must admit that I have started wearing ties a lot, so my shirts are buttoned at the collar, saving our clients from discomfort.

My right forearm has the ugliest scar. It’s a three inch by six inch rectangle of tissue missing from the area where one wears their watch. Its just plain ugly. And the long thin scar that runs up to my elbow joint pointing out where they borrowed the vein from is almost as bad. I never did like short sleeved shirts…

But I almost always forget the scar on my thigh where they skimmed the skin to rebuild the forearm with ‘cause its virtually non-existent at this point.

And I’m thin. Really thin. Did I mention that?

Results

2008-11-25T14:23:00.003-07:00

The meeting with our GP went very well yesterday. The radiologist's report basically says that the 'mass' on the right kidney hasn't changed since we started monitoring it last April/May and therefore it is likely a cyst, or something else quite innocuous. But of course the radiologist covered their butt by adding an oddly worded disclaimer suggesting that there was a very remote possibility that it could be some sort of carcinoma. Our GP pointed out that I would know if there was a real problem... there would be a change in my body chemistry that I would notice. Kidney related 'stuff' is not subtle. He'll schedule another CT for a year from now.

Alright! Take a deep breath, and on we go.

I did ask for something to offset the nose drip... I also asked for something for the tongue fungus. He came through with a couple of things that should help. I tell ya, its a good thing to have a drug plan.

Its starting to look like I do have something 'extra' growing on the tip of my nose. He was very concerned, at first, when I brought it to his attention... then broke out laughing upon closer examination. He thinks I've got a wart... Well, as funny as it seems to have a wart on the end of my nose, he's not taking any chances. He has referred me to a dermatologist to have it excised and analyzed. If its not a wart, it'll probably be a basil cell carcinoma, one of the least problematic of the skin cancers.

Tomorrow is the one year anniversary of the original surgery... time for an inventory.

...and then there's today.

2008-11-24T12:56:00.005-07:00

Its November in Edmonton... but you'd never know it. Today is predicted to be +7 degrees C. We have no snow. It was bright and sunny for a couple of hours earlier, but a pleasant cloud cover is settling in... and yes, cloud cover can be pleasant... thin, bright, and thick in places to give it some texture, and darker bits, letting sunshine slip through the gaps... pleasant. The quality of light is so much better than it was a week or so ago. I gotta start carrying a camera with me so I can post timely photos...

The experiment with salagen/pilocarpine is progressing nicely. I think that I'm starting to feel some of the side effects which means that it is building up in my system and we should know soon if it's doing me any good. Side effects? I get a light layer of perspiration on my back within an hour of taking a pill; my nose drips; my bladder sudden fills up. Just minor physical 'discomforts', but I can cope with this if it means more saliva. And I have observed that I am using less of the artificial saliva.

This afternoon I have an appointment with my GP (Dr. Naiker) to discuss the results of the CT scan we did a couple of weeks ago. I've got a whole list of stuff to ask him about which includes the nose drip, the nose tip (there's something new there that shouldn't be), thighs, knees and hip pain, and bring him up to date on the pilocarpine.

I did check the 'visitor' log earlier this morning and discovered that someone from Michaels visited twice (I got the ip address, not their business card). I haven't heard a word from them, but I'm pleased to know that they appear to be following up on my complaint. Now it is totally possible that what hit the blog was an automated search engine... I know that some smart IT guys out there do that for their employers; they run an deep dive Internet search against their corporate names to pull up any new references. Its not unlike a 'clipping service' where you can pay an organization to scan newspapers, magazines and then all the online sources for articles about you or your product, and basically build you a scrapbook of the results. I believe that it was an internal Michaels' search because most of the commercial clipping services use their own names, or no names, in an attempt to offer their clients some level of anonymity.

Just say NO! to Michaels custom framing...

2008-11-23T12:10:00.004-07:00

Just a bit of a rant for you today... do NOT use Michaels--The Arts and Crafts Store custom framing department.

Towards the end of August we took a beautiful print of Klimt's 'The Kiss', which we had picked up at the Tate Gallery, Albert Dock, in Liverpool, to Michaels--The Arts and Crafts Store in north Edmonton to have it properly framed. We had a discount coupon in hand. Even after the discount, the pricing on the framing job was, in my mind, exorbitant. However, G. really, really wanted it done so I gave in, and we placed the order.

I wandered into an independent framing shop some weeks later, and just for the hell of it, asked for a quote. Even without the discount, and with a slightly better quality matte, the job would have been $100.00 cheaper... Okay. I shrugged it off by rationalizing that the guy was probably trying to impress me and get me to bring in loads of stuff to be done.

About a week later, we got a call from Michaels asking if it was okay to trim the edge of the print to make it fit. Well, yes. We remembered the original conversation where we had expressly said to trim the white border. In fact, we gave very clear instructions about all of that sort of thing, which was written on the work order...

Several weeks later, we called at Michaels to ask about the framing job. After the counter clerk pulled out the work order and rushed about for a few minutes, she came back to us empty handed. Oh, dear... the matte that had arrived was cut wrong, so they had to re-order. "Didn't anyone call you?" Uh, no. And we didn't have any idea that they needed to send out for the matte to be cut in the first place. There is a sizable assembly shop in the back, which can be seen from the counter. One would expect that the work was being done on site... especially given that we could see a worker fitting a canvas to a frame as we waited. However, it appears that matte cutting is not done on site. Odd. I shrugged.

Weeks went by. We called Michaels. Oh, yes, the matte was in and the job would be done really soon.

Wednesday we got a call asking if they could trim the print. Uh, yes. I just shake my head.

And then Friday we got the call that the finished job was ready. Our lives being as chaotic as they are, we didn't get to the store until after 3:00 pm yesterday. There was no one at the custom framing counter. Wait a minute. Saturday, and there's no one on the counter? There's got to be someone in the area. We could see a young woman working away in the shop area, assembling frames... so we got her attention. But she was not 'empowered' (my word, not hers) to find and give us our order. We needed to wait until counter staff came back. We waited for fifteen minutes while she checked the lunchroom, paged over the intercom, and finally put us on ignore and went back to work... There were two other customers who showed up, who also told of their three month delivery time horrors on simple jobs...

Eventually, the senior member of the counter staff did show up and without any fuss, walked directly to the wrapped, framed print and presented it to us, commenting on how lovely it was, and wanting to know how we got it from England without any creases... It does look lovely.

I went to hang it this morning and discovered that they attached the hanging wire (on the back of the frame) so that the print hangs SIDEWAYS! I couldn't believe it! I moved the wire myself. Maybe I should bill them for that.

And yes, I have sent an email to corporate head office complaining... not that that's going to do a lot of good. Head office is in Texas.

I normally don't have a problem with Michaels--The Arts and Crafts Store... G. and I use them a lot for different things, but I definitely have a problem with their custom framing department. This is the second time that I've used that service. They are slow, expensive (in spite of their 50 and 60 percent off coupons!) and their understanding of customer service is non-existent. Please, consider using an independent! At least an independent is interested in you as a customer, and might have a passing familiarity with famous art!

As a sidebar, I noticed yesterday that almost all of the cashiers at the Michaels in north Edmonton (137 Avenue) seemed to be lethargic and morose. I got the impression that Michaels is not a happy place to work.

Yesterday's Physio

2008-11-21T10:27:00.002-07:00

Yesterday's appointment with the physio therapist at the Cross was very positive... I'm definitely making progress. My range of motion is within mere degrees of being back to what it was a year ago... which is not to say that it was 'normal' to begin with. Apparently I wasn't as flexible as I could have been. Too many years spent hunched over a keyboard, I guess. But, as I said, the range of motion is back, and with negligible pain at the extremes.

Strength is coming back into the all the right areas. We have adjusted my exercise list to include strength building moves with the stretch/mobility activities.

Thank goodness... that means that the majority of the impact to the spinal accessory nerve has largely been mitigated. I still have some numbness across the top of my shoulder, but control over the major groups is back. Now I just have to remember to stand up straight, and not slip into the more comfortable slouch. Breathing more deeply will help to support the more open chest and upright posture. I guess I need to seriously think about yoga and/or tai chi...

And just think how good things would be if I actually did the exercises as regularly as I should!

The blonde, the brunette and the vengeful redhead

2008-11-21T09:32:00.008-07:00

Fiona Reid remains one of my favourite actors. She is currently playing in a production of Robert Hewett's 'The Blonde, The Brunette and the Vengeful Redhead' at the Citadel. We saw it last night and it was wonderful! The script is good. Fiona was brilliant... its a one-woman show where she plays seven different characters, ranging from a little boy to an old woman, with stops in-between at a misogynist, a lesbian doctor, a Russian immigrant tart, a middle aged meddler and an inadvertent murderer.

The idea behind the set was very good, but I question the execution of the final design. The 'shape' was awkward, but I can see what the designer was trying to do... The projections were only interesting. The idea, the concept was great, but the images projected seemed to feel like an afterthought, rather than an integrated part of the design and direction.. well, okay, in some cases the projections did advance the plot or complimented the script in some manner, but too many of them didn't seem to have enough thought. And definitely not enough effort put into the execution of the images. But the technology was well handled.

And, I didn't like the lighting design. There were one or two points where the lighting was good, but for the most part it was too much about making pretty patterns on the stage, and not enough about lighting Fiona properly. I really felt for Fiona as she tried to find her 'light', a hot spot for her face to be properly lit. I was also quite surprised by how badly the lighting changes flowed... I can't imagine that Fiona's timing was that different from when the cues were set. The set was essentially put together into a recognizable picket fence and a distorted house silhouette from the shards of a broken mirror; the mirrored surfaces could have been used to much greater effect. Generally, I was very disappointed in the lighting.

It was a great show, nevertheless, and one that I would recommend to anyone. Go ahead, spend the money!

On a more social note, we ran into Marilyn Ryan; nice lady. We also spent a few minutes speaking with Lorraine and John Price. Now that was fun. They look great, and project the old energy that I used to enjoy from both of them. John is at the University and really seems to enjoy being a 'mentor'; Lorraine has found a comfortable, and eminently workable rhythm for her department at the Citadel. They seem quite happy and content with themselves... rare, isn't it?

We also met up with Bill Heron for a few, brief moments. I really would like to sit and talk with him at great lengths, rather than these careening visits. I'm full of questions for him, and I know that he has a lot of questions for me. Trying to package our conversations into 5 minutes bursts isn't very satisfying for either of us... I'm still not comfortable 'hanging out' at the theatre, so I'm always trying to get away. We need to get together on neutral territory.

2008-11-18T13:40:00.003-07:00

I am absolutely fascinated by the number of people out there who have no channel to reach their spouse/significant other during the day to do the mundane things, like plan their lives as a couple. I am trying to set up an evening at the Oilers hockey game, in the company box. I have invited members of the client team that we are currently working with... and it is astounding how few of them are able to get a yes/no commitment during the working day. What's even more astounding is discovering how many of them actually don't know how to reach the spouse except if its an emergency... very odd, from my perspective. I almost always know how and when I can reach G. for that sort of consultation...

And no, I'm not actually going to the game... we've got tickets for a play at The Citadel.

I'm about two weeks into using Salagen/pilocarpine in an attempt to stimulate saliva production. I can't tell yet whether or not its actually working. The doctor did warn me that I might not reap the benefits for up to two months... and then I may not find any real benefit at all. I do know that I am much more aware of my saliva production. I think that I am noticing a very slight difference, but then again, it could simply be the awareness that enhances the perception... I may be stimulating production just by being focused on it. Unfortunately, the level of production is still not enough to eat without constant sipping of liquid. And worse still, the sipping of wine while eating just compounds the problem! Water and milk... boring!

I finally gave in and phoned the doctor for an appointment to discuss last week's CT Scan... there can't be anything too terribly wrong or he would have been on it immediately after getting the radiologist's report...

2008-11-16T17:38:00.003-07:00

Another bleak autumn day. The quality of light is disconcerting, giving everything a grayish feeling to it, quite appropriate as the plants and animals start to hunker down for another winter. Its one of those days that make me wish for snow to bring some brightness to it all. All the browns and greys out there with the now bare trees, in this quality of light, is depressing!

I've been hiding in the basement office, supposedly studying for yet another exam. It seems like there's always another exam... Instead of spending all the time studying Service Strategy, I've been tinkering with the website, and researching different web hosting organizations. I need to come up with a decent domain name before moving the website, however... and I just haven't been able to settle on anything clever, yet appropriate.

And, I've been re-reading this blog to remind myself of what's gone on in the last year. Wow. We're coming up to the one year anniversary of the cancer surgery. Wow.

I've also been reviewing how people have been finding this blog. I use a web-based tracker, SiteManager, to keep track of where readers are from (can't see who, just the where and when) and how they got to this blog. Of course its mostly family and friends who were given the address, with a very few who linked in from the website. Not enough from the website, though, which is one reason to move it. At the moment its tucked too far behind the Shaw Internet DMZ, and doesn't get crawled by the Internet search engines, so its time to move it to somewhere that the search bots can get at it. But the other way people have been finding the blog is through google searches.

The most popular google searches that point eventually to this blog are, in no particular order:

Dr. Akubutu's Mouthwash
forearm flap (its the photos, apparently)
quadroscopy
portrait and Victoria, in combination... can't quite figure that one out

2008-11-14T12:57:00.003-07:00

Lately I've found it rather odd knowing who is actually reading this drek... which is partially why I haven't written for the past couple of weeks. I've found it kinda disconcerting that certain family members are quoting from it... I find myself editing because of that... and waiting to write until I've got something to say that is totally innocuous.

Dumb, eh?

I do, however, enjoy the thought that friends who I don't speak with enough, in some cases not for years, check in occasionally. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I believe that the expectations of me (and this blog) are different...

Oh, well... ... on we go.

So, on Monday of this week I had another CT Scan of my kidneys, looking to ensure that that little bit of scar tissue hasn't grown, moved, or done anything else awkward. Its interesting to note that the radiologist has determined that the contrast dyes aren't needed; it was a really fast appointment this time. I expect to get the 'summons' from the doctor's office any day now to discuss the scan results. The simple fact that we've gone five days without the call is a good thing... no pressing need to tell me bad news. The flip side of the coin may be that the radiologists are too darned busy to read the scan and write up the results...

Oh, and I'm up three pounds. G. has been practicing her gluten-free baking and has found several really good recipes for breads, muffins, cinnamon buns that not only worked, but taste good. It helps that my swallow is much better, and that I've figured out a chew-drink-swallow-chew rhythm that feels okay. I'm less self conscious about eating in front of people...

G. is so much happier, bordering on content, since she re-organized her work life. Much less stress, more job satisfaction.

We did get notification just the other day that my Dad's PSAs (a blood test that tells you all sorts of things about the status of prostate health) have reached zero... which means that his prostate cancer is completely under control and he can stop with the hormone treatments. Yay! It certainly should make Mom's life easier...

On a political note; what the hell are the federal Conservatives thinking? They lost their shot at a majority (partly) because of the artists in this country who were angry at the cavalier attitude to the contribution of the arts to this country, only to turn around and blow off the same community with their bizarre announcement about the National Portrait Gallery. Idiots. The Alberta bids required no financial contribution from the federal coffers; all private money. It would have been a fabulous publicity angle to leverage downloading support for the arts onto the private sector! Idiots. And, they've pulled other funding for other projects in their electoral heartland that have angered the provincial Conservatives... Idiots. Is it any wonder that Premier Stelmach chose to go on his previously scheduled trade mission to Europe (huge trading partner; important initiative; billions of dollars at stake) and sent the Education Minister to the First Ministers' meeting? He didn't even think the meeting was worth diverting the Finance Minister for a day or two... And guess what? The outputs of that meeting were insubstantial... the bunch of them could have phoned it in. Makes Harper look silly, again. Idiots. Even George Bush is getting more traction with his inspired disasters. Idiots.

2008-10-26T18:39:00.008-06:00

G. is upstairs, trying to sort out the house now that the painters have left... while I'm in the basement office, supposedly studying for the next ITIL V3 exam in the series. Randy, the painter, and his assistant really did do a lovely job; Top Notch Painters in Edmonton, if you ever need someone. They did finish, finally, on Thursday... the wallpaper removal caused them huge problems which delayed them by a full day. Now G. is putting back the switchplates and rehanging some pictures. Why this evening? Well, Thursday night was at the theatre, Friday night was at dinner with friends, Saturday was spent buying stuff, including a very chic storage unit for the kitchen nook from IKEA, followed by me trying to quietly assemble it while G. napped, and today was spent at the Citadel, again, this time watching Marty Chan's The Forbidden Phoenix.

This incarnation of The Forbidden Phoenix is really quite good, and should be seen... the story itself has matured some since Ben Henderson and Running With Scissors Theatre first worked with Mr. Chan on it, a few years ago. It has become more comfortable in the wrapper of traditional Chinese opera in its music and lyrical content, but has traded in a bit of the theatrical tricks and magic that does help to define Chinese opera... Robert Walsh, as musical director, has done some really nice things to support Ron Jenkin's direction in the way he has handled the 'westernization' of the Chinese operatic musical form. And John Ullyatt as the Monkey King was very good... I must say, and G. was quite annoyed that I threatened to say it out loud, that during one of his first moments on stage, and at various other places throughout, Mr. Ullyatt reminded me of a young Bob Hope in some of his 'Road' movies. There are mannerisms, affectations, little quirks to his performance that immediately made me think of Hope...

I have to admit that I missed some of the 'subtleties' that were woven into the story, regarding the move to the industrialized west (read 'Canada and the building of the railroad'), the growing Maoist influences in the China that the Monkey King left behind. I suppose that if Leslie Frankish, the set and costume designer, had sacrificed some of those elegantly clean lines, she might have been able to beat us over the head with the symbolism. Thank goodness, she doesn't. Well, she does... in the rendering of the Iron Dragon... and then it all tumbles into place.

And I would have liked to see what she would have come up with if she were told that the waterfall/river and the journey were her challenge, and not the lighting designer's. She does so well with fabic... I sure that she could make something pretty special out of the traditional Chinese opera forms for water and movement...

It is my understanding that this show will eventually move to the Lorraine Kimsa Theatre for Young People, in the early spring of 2009. Take a kid to see it...

By the way, Marty and The Edmonton Journal serialized the story... http://www.canada.com/edmontonjournal/nie/serialstory_pdfs/00370995%20week3.pdf

Hopefully the link will work so you can pull it up to read...

2008-10-24T12:58:00.007-06:00

Hey! I pushed through yet another barrier last night; I attended a show at the Citadel for the first time in 11 years… and I managed to fly in under the radar. Now, I’m not entirely sure that this is a good thing… only one person in the place who wasn’t expecting me to be there actually recognized me. There were a fair number of the crew that I used to work with on hand, plus board members, with artists and folks from other arts organizations… and I managed to move through them undetected. My shyness over rode and took control of the situation; I did not try to make myself known. It should be noted that I did agree to go to the reception afterwards. Until last night, I really had no idea how much my physical appearance has changed… and not just in the last year. I also mean in the last 10 years. This was an opening night with a full house; the attendance at the post show reception was significantly under attended. This was something I found very surprising… until we discovered that the Citadel management has recently changed policy and charge for drinks at the reception. The finger food is still free, and seems to be quite good (not that I had any!), but they no longer provide that free glass of questionable quality wine post performance. Why would anyone pay the premium to attend opening night, now? As a cost cutting measure, I question its validity. As a way to address the liability question (serving drinks without any sort of restriction and therefore, as the host, being culpable for audience drunkenness), well, okay, I’ll accept that. I’d be curious to know what the reason for the change is.

The show we were treated to was Ronnie Burkett’s new piece, ‘Billy Twinkle; Requiem for a Golden Boy’.

It will get better. Won’t it?

I was disappointed. Last evening’s performance was not his best work. The script doesn’t live up to Ronnie’s previous works, although the storyline and the concept seem solid enough. His work with the hand puppet (vs. his masterful manipulation of the marionettes) leaves a great deal to be desired. And his voices… the range, the tonal quality, the timbre all seemed too close to each other, with sporadic, unsustained exceptions. There was a frenetic quality to the interactions with the hand puppet that just didn’t feel right… a great deal of the significance of the language and the interaction was lost. I’m sure that now that opening night is over, he will slow it down, find the best pacing for those very intense scenes, and settle into his normal, seemingly casual rhythms of presentation. We saw a glimpse of that usual Ronnie when he missed a prop clearance, and wove the error back into his banter… now that was some of the Burkett magic that I was looking for.

From a scripting point of view, there are some things that need rewriting… which I’m sure he’ll find as he goes along. There are a lot of sexuality references which advance the story; there are too many overtly sexual references which don’t. He either needs more of the puppet show-within-the-puppet show (he does a brilliant stripper, a drunken socialite, a moment with a bear on roller-skates and a bitter-sweet bit with an old man and balloon) or he needs less. The Juliet needs more work… it seems confused, unfocused, and the presentation, the delivery of Shakespeare’s language was totally inadequate for that moment, and those rants at the beginning of the piece... which brings me to my final point. Ronnie Burkett is an exceptional puppeteer, and a wonderful raconteur, which, when put together with a well deployed script, make for an astonishing evening of theatre. Unfortunately, Ronnie Burkett is not an actor.

2008-10-21T11:24:00.006-06:00

Well, its been over a week since last I posted anything here, and a lot has happened. An interesting election result, a very ugly financial picture emerging, the price of oil sliding dramatically, the looney taking a beating...

I strongly suspect that everything else that has happened/is happening in my little world is pretty trivial stuff to anyone but me.

My mother and father, younger sister and younger brother all made it to St. Albert for Thanksgiving... did I mention that? It made for a really warm and fuzzy weekend.

Mom brought her copy of a 'slow cooker' cookbook. We had purchased a really nice crock pot just before they got here, so it was very timely... We tried out a recipe this past Sunday with what should have been a nice sirloin tip roast, however, it just didn't work. Its seems that what we've heard is true; the poorer the cut of meat, the better the result in a slow cooker. The roast we did was very tasty, but dry and overcooked... the vegetables (baby potatoes, carrots, onions) were nearly perfect. Oh well, live and learn... I'll try again this weekend.

While the meat was being murdered, I spent most of the day in the garage. I found a great system to hoist and store our bicycles at Mountain Equipment Co-op. It was fairly easy to install. It would have been really easy if my shoulder were a bit more cooperative... but it works, and works well. And with the bicycles up out of the way, I managed to fit the motorcycle in, with the jeep and G.'s convertible. Does that mean that the motorcycle is 'put away' for the winter? Well, I suppose so... although I should probably change the oil...

And we spent the rest of the day finishing what we started on Saturday; moving furniture, removing pictures, and generally creating havoc in the townhouse.

We're finally getting a start on getting the townhouse updated. To that end, we have contracted a painting company to give a fresh coat of paint to most of the place, excluding the living/dining room, the big bathroom and the basement. We got a fabulous price quote; a quote, mind you and not an estimate subject to escalation! And they started yesterday! Whoo hoo! This is great! They have run into one snag, however, and that's the removal of the wallpaper in the kitchen/breakfast nook area. It just will NOT come off! They're back today, and I suspect that they'll be in tomorrow as well...

This morning I lept out of bed at 5:30 am (lept? Ya, right...) to make it to a fundraising breakfast event for the Kid's Kottage way out in Sherwood Park that started at 7:00 am. Premiere Ed Stelmach spoke, and did so quite eloquently... and with a nice sense of humour. Danny Hooper MC'd... darn, but he's a funny guy. And Dr. Bob Westbury was there, but, even after G.'s time spent with him yesterday, part of which was spent briefing him on my little challenges over the last year, he didn't recognize me. I didn't push it... just let it go. We'll probably see him on Thursday evening...

The Deloitte table was hosted by partner Ken Sklar, with Dalibor and Dejan (the Brothers-in-law Karamozov), and Ms. Mucha representing the rest of Deloitte. We were hosting the provincial Minister of the Environment, Rob Renner, and another MLA who I didn't recognize, nor did I catch her name. (Unfortunately, I suspect that this was more due to my hearing than the noise in the room... I felt a bit uncomfortable at various points during the event because the ambient noise seemed to really get in the way.) I sat beside the CIO for the ministry of Employment and Immigration, and across from the CIO for Finance.

You know, these things are touted as great opportunities for networking, but they're not really working for me at this point. Sure, the right folks at the GoA are getting to know my face, and who I am on the Deloitte team, but I just can't seem to sustain a decent level of conversation right now... the hearing issue is really plaguing me in noisy environments. Maybe I will have to get those damned hearing aids just for those events. In terms of frequencies, and subtleties, I can hear quite well now, and it seems to be getting better... except in these sorts of circumstances. Damn.

Tonight is an itSMF dinner at the Royal Glenora Club... and its starting to look like I get to be the MC 'cause the Prez can't make it. That just makes it tougher to sneak out earlier if the speaker is a dud.

Wednesday evening, we get to put all the furniture back that had to be moved for the painters.

Thursday evening we're slated to be at the opening of Ronnie Burkett's new piece, 'Billy Twinkle' at The Citadel's Maclab Theatre.

Sunday afternoon, we're going to catch 'The Forbidden Phoenix' at The Citadel's Shoctor.

Busy, busy, busy...

Voting Day in Canada

2008-10-14T11:41:00.003-06:00

Go VOTE. No excuses. VOTE. I don't care who you vote for (which is not entirely true, but...) so long as you exercise your right to VOTE.

I voted. Have you?

Dentists and Financial Meltdown

2008-10-08T13:46:00.005-06:00

Yesterday afternoon I braved the dentist's chair for the first time in over a year. My dentist is Dr. David Scott, a professor at the University of Alberta, Faculty of Dentistry, who has a small private practice that he is encouraged to run out of the Faculty. He is also an old family friend, having been one of G.'s first employers (as a nanny, I think) when she first came to Canada... I've never been really clear on the history there... but he has looked after me for over twenty years.

The hygienist, Cheryl, was complaining that now that she's hit 50, her sight is failing. The receptionist, Pat, was whining about 'the change'. Both were quite astounded at how good I look. They've seen some really ugly stuff come through the doors there; I am not one of the ugly ones. Woohoo!

Apparently my teeth are in good shape, with the exception of a broken/cracked filling that is probably the byproduct of the cancer surgery rather than my eating habits of late. My gums are in good shape, with only one area of concern to the hygienist. And that concern is minimal. David and company did warn me that I must continue to rinse my mouth regularly, because of the diminished saliva production. David phoned a periodontist friend while I was there and asked him about the salagen/pilocarpine which I mentioned in a previous post. Because I have asked my surgeon to look into it, David won't write the prescription, but the periodontist friend advised asking the pharmacist for artificial saliva, and Prevident (I hope I got that right... I left the note on my dresser). And Cheryl, the hygienist, suggested that I start using something like Plax twice a day, carry a Sulcabrush with me, and gave me new Sulcabrush heads with the obligatory toothbrush

They are such nice people!

Now, on to the Financial Meltdown;

I'm really not sure what the hell the politicians are up to with regards to the stock market meltdowns! All we're really getting is baffle gab from all of them! Harper sounds like he's on a double dose of anti-depressants (he almost giggled at one point!), and the other two majors are alternating between the good 'ol Uncle with the well-if-I-had-my-way speech and the slightly frenetic why-doesn't-someone-do-something lament.

My take on the subject is really quite simple: the majority of pension/rrsp money is tied up in mutual funds which is under the control of fund managers, or the mythical 'institutional investor'. Their job is to manage those funds. They get paid for doing it. They get bonused for doing it well. They get promoted for doing it really well (although somewhere in that part of the equation the Peter Principle does play a role). If your pension/rrsp has been doing reasonably well until these past couple of weeks, just try to relax... the players (fund managers) are just as concerned as you and will work hard to bring the value of your investment back up as fast as they can, according to the mandate of the fund (aggressive vs. conservative). Now, you may (which translates to "I may", dammit!) have to shift that retirement window by a couple of years, and it may be chromed rather than gold leaf, but you will be able to retire comfortably.

I heard on a panel discussion this morning that a number of the institutional investors had already started to shift the composition of their funds before this mess started because of the indicators in the market that something was about to happen. Some of the players have 40 to 55% of the funds they manage in cash or cash-equivalent instruments (bonds, T-bills, debentures, piggy banks). This should give them a head start in building back the funds as the market begins its recovery.

All is not lost.

And from a completely selfish point of view, I'm kinda hoping that a short term 'fraidy cat tightening of spending will free up a couple of windows of opportunity to get our kitchen renovated!!!

Monday

2008-10-06T14:40:00.003-06:00

And just for the record, I did ride my motorcycle to work this morning... I dressed well for the cool +4 degrees with a fleece jacket under my insulated leather jacket and a decent scarf. The chaps make a huge difference cutting the wind, and so far I've not needed anything extra on my legs. The real challenge is proving to be the gloves. I changed out to a pair of winter leather gloves which have served me quite well for the past couple of years, but my fingertips got a bit tingly on the ride in this morning. Hmmmm... I may have to go to the motorcycle shop to see if they've got something a bit better for this application.

I figure that I'm good until Thanksgiving, if I can sort out the gloves.

I finally got wound up enough again to call my surgeon's office to protest about the hearing doctor's refusal to call me in to speak to me. Diane, assistant to Dr. Williams, listened politely, assured me that she understood my position, but warned me that I still probably wouldn't get an appointment... its got a lot to do with the nature of delivering specialty medical services in Canada these days. But she did dutifully call them, and a) explain my position, and b) ask for the recommendation for hearing aids to be written out as a prescription. Unfortunately, it was a 'no' on both counts... with the specialist's office assuring Diane that they use the place that did the testing a lot, and are quite comfortable with them, often using them to help with clinics, and are pretty sure that the pricing is fair.

I also asked Diane to speak to Dr. Williams about something called 'salagen', which is also known as pilocarpine. Apparently its used to stimulate the production of saliva in persons suffering from one or two of the incarnations of 'dry mouth syndrome'. I'll just have to wait to hear what the good doctor has to say about it...

I only felt the need for hearing assist once this week. I'm going to keep track for a month, and then decide what to do...

I'm still not gaining weight. I'm definitely going to have to 'up' the volume of calorie supplements as well as keep eating the amount that I have been. It was suggested on the weekend that, where I would normally have a glass of milk, I should substitute an Ensure (or a Boost). Not a bad strategy, but... well, just 'but'. As part of the conversation that resulted in this little cheat, it was pointed out that there are research pointers out there that say that, eating disorders like anorexia or bulimia notwithstanding, putting on weight can be as challenging as trying to lose weight. Hell, I don't remember having trouble gaining that fifty pounds I lost to the chemo, so why can't I gain it back? Probably 'cause I originally gained it over a period of twenty years... and given my history when I was very much younger, maybe we should at least give it a year to put fifteen pounds back on before anybody panics.

My shoulder is loosening up nicely; I'm wondering if Tai Chi wouldn't be another avenue to investigate? I used to do some... its probably time I went back to it.

I'm sure that everyone is getting tired of the propaganda surrounding the election, but let me just say, one more time: Anybody But Harper. Are you disciplined enough to look into strategic voting? Now having said that, I was told that the gentleman running for the Liberals in my riding spoke to the Rotary Club the other morning, and was absolutely dreadful... ill-prepared, somewhat ill-informed, bordering on incoherent and generally a bit of an embarrassment. To be fair, the person who brought this performance to my attention is almost as critical as I am, working with maybe a few more shades of grey in their pallette than I tend to, but not many more. Next election, maybe I'll run! I couldn't possibly do any worse than the current nominee is going to...

Ear Doctors, Braised Meats, Walterdale

2008-09-28T17:20:00.012-06:00

We finally heard back from the hearing specialist (awkward wording, no pun intended!) via my surgeon's office, Dr. Williams. I will be calling in for clarification, but the message that Dianne left basically said that the specialist doesn't think that he needs to see me, that the results of the hearing test are enough to make a diagnosis, and the diagnosis is that I should get hearing aids. WHAT?!!! Uh, I would really like to sit in a small, closed room and have a conversation with the specialist who is looking at the test results produced by a pay-as-you-go clinic that sustains itself on the sales of hearing aids and have him look me in the eye, and say slowly, clearly, distinctly that I need some assistance with my hearing, and what he believes that the hearing aids will achieve. I want the academic lecture about perception of sounds and how losing the ability to hear a particular frequency range affects your brain's ability to interpret speech. I want him to tell me if I should expect to have further deterioration, and to talk me through some sort of timeline for what I should expect as a bi-product of the chemo, and what is natural aging, and whether the introduction of hearing aids into my environment will slow down any further deterioration. I want him to tell me that there are other mitigation strategies, or not, as the case may be. I want him to lay out the programming standards for the hearing aids, and to tell me which type of aid performing which assists are recommended for my particular situation. And I want him to write a prescription which I can shop around to different hearing aid providers until I find pricing, styles, brands and services that suit me!

Geez... and speaking of hearing issues, I got an earful of abuse this morning from a friend who says that I'm not putting enough of the juicy details into this blog... Now what he was really referring to was the dinner that he prepared for us over the Labour Day weekend that I had absolutely no problem eating. What he prepared for us was a couple of different braised meats... the emphasis is on the 'braised' part. And I do have to admit that not only was it very tasty (just about everything he cooks is!) but the braising made it very easy for me, dry-mouth-sufferer-and-difficulty-swallowing-challenged-guy to really enjoy the meat for the first time in a long time. I had been restricting my diet to fish and certain types of seafood until Labour Day. I don't want to give him too much credit, but after that dinner, I've been a bit more aggressive about finding meat dishes that are easier to chew and swallow.

What the heck is 'braising'? Here's part of the Wikipedia statement on the subject:

"Braising (from the French “braiser”) is a combination cooking method using both moist and dry heat; typically the food is first seared at a high temperature and then finished in a covered pot with a variable amount of liquid, resulting in a particular flavour.

Braising relies on heat, time, and moisture to successfully break down tough connective tissue and collagens in meat; making it an ideal way to cook tougher cuts. Many classic braised dishes such as Coq au Vin are highly-evolved methods of cooking tough and unpalatable foods. Swissing, stewing and pot-roasting are all braising types. Pressure cooking and slow cooking (e.g., crockpots) are forms of braising."

What Gord did was really quite wonderful... a bit of lamb and a bit of beef. And it wasn't just 'stewed', either... it was carefully, thoughtfully done, with a lovely sauce, complimentary veggies and garlic smashed potatoes. Its kinda too bad that we don't live on the coast near these folks. We miss the Sunday dinners with them... and I probably wouldn't be as challenged trying to put on weight! Gord is a bit of a gourmet cook... and I really think he misses have 'regulars' to cook for...

Last night we went to the Walterdale Theatre Associates 50th Anniversary. I don't know the real stats on this, but they seem to be one of the best organized, best funded, continuously performing and longest surviving community (used to be called 'little') theatres in the country, if not on the continent. Volunteerism is alive and well in Edmonton! We shared a table with city councillor Ben Henderson, and Alberta MLA Laurie Blakeman, professional actress Patricia (Bell) Casey, Lou, the volunteer barkeeper for Walterdale and Ruby, their volunteer Social Convener. Okay, the part about Ben and Laurie sounds pretty ostentatious, but it is a bit of a cheat... we've been friends for a long, long time, and because they know that we don't have any 'agendas' it is comfortable to share a table (and a bottle) with us... which is very cool 'cause we get to talk about their dogs, their cabin north of Athabasca and Ben's newly discovered fascination with red shoes. We don't spend enough time with them to waste what time we do get with them on politics...

At the dinner gala we met up with a lot of old friends and acquaintances... it was really quite lovely, and sometimes a bit embarrassing. I'm not sure that I really know how to accept people's well wishes gracefully... Laurie said that I was handling it quite well, but I still feel pretty awkward about it all. But they came from all over to be there last night. Gaye Lepage came in from Port Moody... Sheila Dodd came down from White Horse, or Yellowknife or someplace up there... Gerry and Vivian Streader came in from the Island... Frank and Mary Glenfield were there... and seemed quite surprised by how good I looked. I had seen them both at a small birthday celebration for Laurie Blakeman some months ago, and they admitted last night that they thought I looked quite dreadful then.... One of the local 'event' writers for the Edmonton Journal, Nick Lees, was even in attendance. I did notice a dearth of professional actors, directors and designers who got to practice their craft at Walterdale; where were they all? There isn't that much going on right now... And Chris Allen was his usual erudite self, starting the evening off with a presentation of Elizabethan era instructions on how to behave at dinner and then closing the performance with Puck's final lines from 'A Midsummer's Night Dream'. Chris had sent me some really wonderfully funny emails during my treatments. He writes so well! When we found him amongst the crowd earlier in the evening, before dinner, he gave me a hug! And I mean a rib-cage-crushing-hug-that-leaves-imprints-of-the-buttons-of-your-shirt-on-your-chest kinda hug after having looked me straight in the eyes and declaring, embarrassingly loud "You're my hero!"

Oh, its so nice to be getting out in the world again.

2008-09-26T08:42:00.003-06:00

Unfortunately, we missed the show at the Citadel last night... G. is suffering from bronchitis and was not in any condition to spend 3 hours at a show and socializing... I am a bit disappointed. Surprisingly, it didn't take quite as much to psyche myself up for the return to that building than I first thought.

The other shoe finally dropped about J., the oldest of the two girls. The tests have come back indicating that it is NOT lymphoma, but active CMV (cytomegalovirus), instead. Its not as bad as what it could have been, and what else they were testing for. Another cancer diagnosis in the family would have devastated her mother. J. probably picked it up during her work as a obstetrics nurse... she will need to be monitored for the short term to make sure that the hepatitis-like component doesn't affect her liver.

I remain very disappointed with the three major political party leaders, and am furious with Mr. Harper for his discounting of the impact of the Arts. I was seriously thinking about voting Green Party even though I know that they can't carry this riding, as an endorsement of where they stand on building for the future. I've pretty much determined that I'm going to vote for the party most likely to dislodge the Conservatives in our riding. I suspect that it will be the Liberals; the local NDP candidate is an absolute wingnut...

Mid Week Update

2008-09-24T14:04:00.004-06:00

Fall is upon us! The weather here began to turn over the weekend... cool early mornings, moderated temperatures at midday, cool evenings, and rain! This morning at 6 am the temperature was +2 degrees C. A frost had formed... And no, I didn't ride my motorcycle to work. In fact, I haven't ridden it any morning this week. Monday it was raining too much. Tuesday threatened rain, and I needed some extra reference material at work that wouldn't really fit on the bike safely. This morning I was running late, and the cold spooked me. Its currently lovely and bright, but chilly...

Its time to start seriously thinking about how I will be storing the motorcycle for the winter. G. has suggested that, if we move things around a bit, it could spend the winter in the garage. I'm not sure that that is such a great idea. An acquaintance at work has suggested that it could be 'tarped' and left out back by the deck and the hot tub. On one hand its not a bad idea, but on the other hand I'm really not sure what even that limited exposure will do to the bike. I'm thinking that I may look into a storage unit at one of the local storage facilities, but I'm not really sure about spending the money.

Things at work are starting to get busy... busy is good. If I let it, it could start to spill over into my personal time. We'll just have to avoid that, eh?

Monday night we saw Carol Burnett at the Winspear. Nice enough... but the ticket price was a bit much for what was delivered. I didn't pay for the tickets, but nevertheless, I seriously question the value proposition. Now, there were rabid fans in the audience (the place was sold out) who will undoubtedly take issue with my position. But I really believe that it would have been so much better to have been in a smaller, much more intimate venue. And for me, the question-and-answer format just didn't work...

Last night was at home... sort of.

Tonight we've got Spanish class, although G. has announced that she's not feeling well enough. I'm starting to worry that her bronchitis has slipped into pneumonia.

Tomorrow night is the opening of "Pride and Prejudice" at The Citadel... I haven't been in the Shoctor Theatre for nearly ten years. This could be very traumatic!

Friday Night is Colin James at the Arden in St. Albert.

Saturday Night is the 50th Anniversary Gala at Walterdale Theatre.

Busy week, eh?

My swallow has improved a wee bit, thanks to Irene's guidance (therapist at iRSM/Compru). But I am starting to believe that the real problem is with my tongue and dry mouth syndrome. I may be stuck with this problem forever... and the dry mouth issue is making me cautious at work. I do not speak as much as I used to, and when I do, I start fretting enough that I'm losing my train of thought. I'm really not sure that I will be able to do full day training/presentations any time soon. I need to develop a strategy for keeping my mouth wet... Drinking water every couple of minutes gets a bit tedious, and, when I'm on a roll, I forget and then find myself with a problem. There has got to be a better way to handle it!

Its too early to tell if the new strategy for my shoulder is working, or not...

2008-09-21T17:21:00.002-06:00

Busy Day...

2008-09-15T11:11:00.016-06:00

Well, so far this morning I've been to work for a couple of hours, then jumped on my motorcycle and ran up to Anderson Hearing Clinic to get my hearing tested. After I'd parked my bike, and walked around the building towards the front door, I passed by dog that was tethered to one of those stand up ashtrays. Nice dog... After I got well beyond him, a wasp stung him, and he took off, pulling the ashtray over, and then with him... it terrified him! He ran out into the traffic, but was not hit... some guy in one of those monster 4 x 4 pick ups ran over and stopped on the ashtray, which effectively brought the hysterical dog to a halt. I stepped into a local restaurant and called for the owner, who did emerge to rescue his dog. You'd think that if someone could lift one of those ashtrays, they'd figure that their dog could move it too... sometimes I just shake my head.

The hearing test was very similar to the one used to take the baseline way back in November of 2007. The biggest difference was the use of words at varying volumes, and not just tones. What we did discover is that, in a controlled environment, I can hear and discern language nearly perfectly. Once we moved to the frequency test, we discovered that the high end frequencies are a bit of a problem... though not as bad as I first feared. The actual hearing loss is 'moderate' at worst. The challenge is that when the loss of acuity of the highs are combined with the tinnitus and background noise, I begin to lose the ability to distinguish certain chunks of language. The nice man suggested that it can be adjusted for with hearing aids... at about $1,400.00 per ear. Well, I guess that isn't too, too bad, given that it could be as much as $3,000.00 per ear! He is willing to let me have a pair of aids for six months to be sure that they are actually working... I did say that I want to have words with my Doctor before making any sort of decision... Vanity aside, I am not adverse to the aids. Its a little disconcerting to be sitting in a meeting and not being able to pick out specific conversations. I'm not entirely sure that aids will fix that, but I'm willing to give it a try if the good Doctor suggests aids as a viable option.

This afternoon I will be spending an hour with the ladies at COMPRU, now iRSM to see if we can't figure out what to do about my swallowing problems, and maybe even my speech issues. And, coincidentally, Irene sent along (via email) photos and mpegs of the last couple of times that I was in....

This first mpeg is the baseline done before the November surgery. Its a bit dark (exposure), but if you watch it a couple of times you'll be able to figure out what it is all about.

This next mpeg is one month AFTER the surgery. Its a much better framing of the shot, and an exposure level that works much better...

And next we have the six month view. This is the one that shows what the issue is... if you watch it carefully, you can see the material that I am swallowing get hung up on the flap that covers the windpipe. I end up coughing a little bit, for a little while, if I can't clear it quickly. Constantly drinking water while eating helps, but, well, constantly drinking water dilutes the taste of the food! And, of course, when I ask for water at a restaurant, it comes ICED, which further diminishes the taste experience.

But its all kinda cool to watch, isn't it?

Its kinda odd to note that the first mpg shows the need for a secondary swallow, the second mpg is nearly perfect in how the barium mass goes down slickly, and then the third one is taking way too much work to swallow. I'm not entirely sure why the second and third are so different. Yes, the tissue swelling has gone done. Healing is good. I thought that maybe they had mislabelled the mpegs and pre-op vs. one month post-op had been reversed, but I am able to see the indicator wire that was placed in my jaw to warn off the radiation team from the relocated saliva glands in mpegs two and three and not in mpeg one, so I know that we're looking at them in the correct sequence. Maybe we've got scar tissue that is inhibiting the process? I really don't know at this point...

Irene sent some photos, as well. I'll upload them in a separate posting...

End of the week...

2008-09-13T14:55:00.005-06:00

Well, its the end of another week... and still not much to say.

I did write those two ITIL exams on Friday and found them more challenging than the previous three written two weeks ago. The format still makes me cringe a bit, and the wording, the UK-centric language, and the murky answers all contribute to a questionable value. The five exams are part of the testing, or piloting of the exam cycle... and if I want to teach any of the knowledge areas that the exams are centred on, I do need to pass the exams and get certification first. So, its a bit of a bonus to be able to write the pilot exams in an effort to get an early certification and therefore be in a better position for the company to offer training... hopefully we can be one of the first organizations out of the blocks with the proper offerings.

I spent the afternoon on Friday at a retreat for our Consulting group. It was held above the Ukrainian Bookstore at Fort Edmonton Park... a lovely reconstructed 'pioneer village museum' concept park in the river valley. The actual event was just 'okay'; no stunning revelations or new approaches. Even the guest speaker, although interesting (spoke about possible synergies between Consulting and Finance and Audit) there wasn't anything earth shattering, or even earth shaking in his talk. I was quite disappointed in the catering; there wasn't anything that I could eat beyond a couple of pieces of melon. For some reason, it never even occurred to me that I needed to remind the support staff that I can't do gluten... my fault, I know. They can't be expected to remember everything. Its a good thing that I've gotten into the habit of carrying a protein bar and an Ensure in my briefcase/backpack. Its just a wee bit embarrassing, however, to be sitting there, protein bar in hand, while everyone else is tucking into lasagna (vegetarian and regular), a Caesar salad with crumbled croutons and a dressing of questionable origins, and some pretty amazing looking (and smelling...mmmmmmm) dessert squares. Its not a pleasant thing to have to explain to the event organizers why you're not eating what was being offered, especially after other members of the team have made noises about making sure that I did eat to gain the much needed weight. Its just not worth discussing some things; my world is so full of contradictions at the moment. But I did get, by default, a nice bottle of white wine. It was one of the door prizes (incentives for showing up at these retreats!) won by a newer member of the team I'm working directly with, who just happens to be a practicing Muslim, and therefore does not drink. So he passed the bottle to me... I do feel a little bad for him; its Ramadan, and he's having a heck of time with the day time fasting. He caved, and ate lunch with everyone else.

One of the things that did stick with from the retreat was the thought that I have to get on with 'building eminence' within the company and the community, generally. Now that I'm back form the hiatus imposed by the cancer, and now that the first series of the new ITIL exams have been dealt with, I need to go to work on establishing myself in the ITIL consulting space, as a separate entity from, or within the team. Its true that a lot of the work flows to me, but people aren't thinking of me first. The work is redirected by other members of the core team. And there are certain opportunities that I am not being considered for. I worry that its because of the bout with cancer. The timeline may not have moved far enough for other members (and managers) of the Consulting group to be confident that I am a safe investment... That I find to be a depressing thought. So I need to figure out a way to build my eminence and profile really quickly, efficiently and effectively.

And now for a quick change of topic:
I had a quick look into the attic this morning. We've been having some challenges with heat this summer, and I got to wondering whether or not the attic insulation might have something to do with it. Rather obvious approach, isn't it? Ya, well... I'm not always that good at checking out the obvious first... So, anyway, I discovered that the attic is full of Weathershield branded blown insulation, and even found a certificate in the roof joists which says that there are nine inches of the stuff, giving an R-32 rating. And it does look like the right amount of insulation is there... with at least one low patch near an outside wall. I wasn't about to go crawling around in that stuff to verify depth throughout. I'm thinking that a call to an insulation company may be a good idea. Maybe an additional 3 inches of insulation might be a good idea? In any event, I'm starting to think that the heat problem may be a lack of insulation in the exterior walls... Again, though, I think I need a conversation with one of the experts.

Ramblings...

2008-09-10T10:04:00.005-06:00

'Not a lot to say lately, but I thought I'd just scribble down some of the random thoughts and events that have been swirling around...

I'm very disappointed in Stephen Harper for calling the federal election... turns out he's just like every other self-serving politician, bending the laws he himself created when he finds they are not serving his best interest. His 'fixed election date' law was, or is, such a great idea, but it didn't take into account the 'non-confidence' aspect of the parliamentary system. If it was to really work, the concept of the non-confidence vote should be thrown out... then we'd really get to see democracy in action! The one question I do have is will we be back at the polls when that law says we should, in October of 2009 (or whenever)? Or will he ignore the law if things aren't just right for him?

I'm also very disappointed in Stephan Dion. To borrow a phrase from Bill Clinton; Its the Economy, Stupid. When will these guys learn that everything else follows.... if he can get 'on message' with the economy, the Green Shift plan will naturally fall into place IF it is properly aligned. I must say that I am pleased that Mr. Dion has asked the tv networks to include Ms. May and the Green Party in the televised debates. We'll just have to wait and see how that goes. She may be enough of a perceived threat to Harper's Conservatives that he will fight the move...

I've been spending some time with Facebook recently... and tracked down a few old high school friends and a couple of University friends. Its such an oddly fascinating communication tool. A disconcerting and yet satisfying experience.

I'm prepping to write more ITIL V3 exams on Friday. Those things are 'crazy'!

Protecting the saliva glands

2008-09-04T08:39:00.008-06:00

I find myself quite tired these past couple of days. Hard living over the weekend? Weather changes? Post Labour Day blues? Not really sure what it is...

I promised someone (do you think I can remember who?) over the weekend that I would look up the name of the drug that has the potential to reduce radiation damage to saliva glands. It was something that I was NOT offered... and boy, does that piss me off. It is possible that it hasn't been approved for use in Canada, yet. But it has been in use in the USA for some time now... a bit annoying, really.

Amiphostine is the name of the drug. Anecdotal discussion says that it is injected before each radiation treatment and that it can get expensive. Hopefully who ever I was talking to/about has a good drug plan. Also sold under the brand names Ethyol® , Ethiofos , Gammaphos, WR-2721

From the MedlinePlus website:

"This medication is used to:
protect the kidneys against the harmful effects of the cancer-fighting drug cisplatin in patients with ovarian cancer or lung cancer
reduce the severe dry mouth caused by radiation treatment after surgery for head and neck cancer
Amifostine is in a class of drugs known as chemoprotectants; it protects against the harmful effects of cisplatin and radiation treatment. The length of treatment depends on the types of drugs you are taking, how well your body responds to them, and the type of cancer you have. "

I've been reading stuff from 2005 that says that the drug can be effective... its not a guarantee. Its interesting that it hasn't become part of the treatment protocol at the Cross Cancer Institute. There are side effects, almost as bad as the chemo... and maybe that's why?

Filling in the blanks...

2008-08-25T09:55:00.007-06:00

It would appear that I've missed posting the results of a pertinent appointment or two... the first was a followup with Dr. Williams, my surgeon, on the 19th, and the actual face-to-face with Dr. Naiker on the 20th.

Okay, so let's deal with Dr. Williams first.

We started off the session by being evaluated by Dr. Williams intern, Gugan... and I am embarrassed to say that I didn't get her last name. She was great, however. Funny, personable and quite thorough in her questioning and probing.

Dr. Williams was also in pretty good form... We ambushed him off the top with a 'hello' from Toddy Parkinson, who knew his father really well. Apparently they practiced their various medical specialties together, first in Liverpool, and then serendipity struck and they both ended up in Alberta.

Dr. Williams seems to be quite pleased with the results of the actual surgery. Everything has healed very well. When asked about the sensation of the tongue as 'clumsy' and 'bulky', he pointed out that he had added quite a bit of material (from my forearm) to replace what he had taken out of the tongue and lingual tonsil... and he said basically (I can't remember the exact words, dammit) that if he had skimped on the rebuild, the tissues would have gotten so tight that swallowing would have been nearly impossible, and the flap on top of the oesophagus would not have maintained a watertight seal. Oh. Well, okay then. I then told him about the ledge or trough that forms in the flap that is collecting debris causing me a little bit of discomfort, and embarrassing me by making me do these cute little coughs until it clears... and the early morning 'here's-how-we're-supposed-to-swallow' challenges. He started his reply with the 'make-sure-you-carry-a-water-bottle-everywhere' speech, referencing the dry mouth issues, and followed it up with a promise to contact the speech therapy team at COMPRU to make sure they do another assessment, and teach me a few little tricks to help. In an effort to make me feel more comfortable with the situation, he did mention that there are people who never swallow properly again, and that I am doing really well. He keeps saying that... I hope he's not just blowing smoke...

I asked him about writing a prescription for the Ensure meal replacement that I'm using to supplement my eating; no problem. That will help on a financial level... the damn things are over two bucks a can! He quizzed me on my eating habits, was quite curious about the protein bars that I found that are celiac friendly, and generally encouraged me to keep eating... No mention was made of trying to 'tube' me again.

My hearing issues were brought up. He is referring me to another specialist, a Dr. Lui, for assessment. I've already got an appointment for the testing... I just need to know if the hearing is coming back, or if there will be a recommendation for hearing aids. I don't mind the thought of hearing assist... I just want to know.

There will be a referral to the Cross Cancer Institute's physio therapy department to get an analysis of my shoulder done. It should have rolled back by now... but he was 'okay' with the level of mobility. And that was only 'okay'. We're a long way from perfect on this stuff.

The appointment on the 20th with Dr. Naiker was to discuss the results of the CT Scan... and I must congratulate myself that I did NOT give him a rough time about his receptionist. But I tell ya, if she does it again I'll have a lot to say...

Gail and the girls all came to this appointment. Gail was obvious, but the girls came became they don't know who to believe anymore. They think that their mother is blowing things out of proportion, and that I'm down playing everything significantly. Well, maybe they're right on both counts...

Essentially, Dr. Naiker told us that we remain in surveillance mode on the kidney thing. It is not a cyst. It is not purely scar tissue. It is also not affecting function, not growing, not doing anything untoward... so we wait and we watch. I already have the date for the next CT Scan: November 11.

Dr. Naiker really did a good job of calming everyone... and convincing them to relax a bit.

I brought up the issue of the stiff and sore joints, something I forgot to do with Dr. Williams. There are two things at work here. Firstly, the radiation and chemo have added approximately 10 years worth of wear and tear to my body. Secondly, chemo is designed to stop (or slow) cell division. That will include the production of joint lubricants. He will, if necessary, give me injections to help recovery, but suggested that liberal use of the hot tub will accomplish a great deal. Exercise, yoga, tai chi, etc. are also good avenues to pursue.

The issues with my left ankle, he thinks is simply arthritis, which in retrospect I'm beginning to take issue with. As I rode my motorcycle home on Friday evening, it suddenly occurred to me what is causing the discomfort; impact and strain on the left ankle from riding the motorcycle! I 'land' on my left foot... and it often takes more than it should with the way I have been braking. So, I think that it is a repetitive strain thing from taking the weight of the bike, all 500+ lbs. of it, and the added oomph of the skid-to-a-stop every once in a while. My ropers (the boots I wear) are surviving better than the ankle... definitely gotta change the way I'm handling that...

2008-08-19T08:47:00.005-06:00

We've decided that its time to get on with renovating the kitchen, a clever ruse on my part to distract Gail from her perceptions of my health issues; ya, right... like that's gonna work. (We see the surgeon, Dr. Williams, as part of the three-month follow-up this afternoon.)

On Saturday we tore out the sunshine ceiling and the fluorescent light fixtures. I'm really glad we took out the fluorescents; all the ballasts were leaking a dark, tarry ooze...it was definitely time for them to go. I'm not so glad that we took out the t-bar and the light baffles. We can now see the real ceiling, and its a bloody mess. The townhouse was constructed during a boom period 20 years ago, and the workmanship on the drywall ceiling shows it. We'll need to get a drywaller in to fix the mess before we can paint the ceiling...

After removing the old lighting system, we put up some track lighting. It gives a nice, warm quality of light, but Gail is concerned that it also gives off substantially more heat than the previous ceiling lighting. Well, quite honestly, if we can't get a drywaller in to fix the mess that is the current ceiling, we'll be going back to a sunshine ceiling anyway. In fact, the more I think about it, the more I think it may be the best solution to the problem... time for some research into contemporary sunshine ceiling configurations.

And we called Home Depot to get them to come do some measurements and estimates for new cupboards and counter tops, installed. Now, that's a frustrating experience. First of all, they want you to do your own measurements and pick your styles for cupboards and counter tops, and then they will decide if the job is worth doing. The questions about budgets and whether we were going to redo the appliances, and several other questions seemed quite invasive given that we were really looking for estimates that had a high probability of turning into an order. And even then they want you to pay for the estimates upfront, before they will even contact the installers to schedule the appointment. Yes, the site visit, measurements and estimates are NOT done by Home Depot's in-house designers; they are done by the contracted installers. On one level that's pretty smart before placing the final order, but from a sales perspective its a bit cumbersome. In fact, the designers don't seem to ever see the places that they are recommending features and fittings for. They are completely missing the boat on upselling, and on problem solving.

We were told that the measurements for the cupboards could be from two to four weeks after we paid the monies, but they wouldn't promise us when they would actually set the dates for the installers to come and take those measurements, nor when we would see a firm estimate. We are expected to pay estimator fees up front, wait for someone to call us back to actually book the appointment, and then wait two to four weeks for the visit, with no clear idea of when we'll know about costs, and, as a logical follow-on, when we would be able to place the order. Delivery and installation of the cabinetry would be somewhere in December... hopefully... maybe. ( I asked if the install could be completed by Thanksgiving (Canadian Thanksgiving is in October) and the designer laughed!) And then, and only then, would they take the measurements, and make templates, for the counters. Delivery and installation of the counter tops would be three to four weeks later. Right... like we could live through a December/January with no counter tops!

So, from Home Depot, it looks something like this:

Pay $100+ for the measurements and estimates
Wait until someone representing the installer of the cabinetry calls to make an appointment
If the day the installer has available doesn't work for you, you may be completely out of luck. Home Depot will try to find another installer or refund your fees.
The site visit may be two weeks to four weeks away.
The estimate (notice I have never used the word 'quote'!) is several days away from that.
Once there is an estimate, an order is placed for the cabinetry.
The cabinetry is delivered and installed 10 to 12 weeks later.
Once the cabinetry is delivered and installed, measurements are taken for the counter tops, and templates drawn up for use by the 'factory' to make/cut the shapes.
An estimate on the counter tops is prepared and an order is placed.
The counter tops are delivered and installed three to four weeks later.

We're going shopping for a renovation general contractor to do this... someone who will give us a quote, handle the measurements, the ordering, the coordination that will leave us without a functional kitchen for no more than a week.

Yes, I know this is Alberta, that we're in a boom economy... and I'm being completely unreasonable!

Hey, but at least its enough of a challenge to keep someone's mind off my health...

...and when I got home...

2008-08-16T19:52:00.007-06:00

And when I got home from work on Friday afternoon, I found Gail in a terrible state. She had spent the afternoon ruminating on what the medical receptionist had said, and was absolutely freaked out. A friend of hers, Nancy, had actually come over to the house to try to keep her calm while they waited for me to get home. And she had 'blown off' a fairly important meeting because she was so distraught.

We talked... and I was so frustrated with her interpretation of the phone call, and actually quite worried about her state of mind that I called Dr. Naiker's on-call line. He returned my call within minutes... (this guy is fabulous!)

On 'speaker phone' mode, Dr. Naiker explained to us (but more for Gail's benefit) that nothing had changed since the last CT... he even read to us, word-for-word, the radiologist's report. Now I may not have dwelt on this particular aspect before, but when I had the PET scan done last September/October, they identified a hotspot on one of my kidneys. That's what we're monitoring at the moment... and the area under surveillance is NOT growing, is NOT moving and is not changing in anyway. The radiologist is pretty sure that it is NOT a cyst, although it could be scar tissue from a couple of kidney stones I had years ago. The radiologist is basically saying it is maintaining a inert status... and recommended to Dr. Naiker that we should schedule another CT for six months down the road.

Gail calmed down... we went to friend's for dinner... it was a lovely evening.

Bloody receptionist!

Just stuff...

2008-08-15T12:23:00.005-06:00

Hey, guess what? I played golf yesterday afternoon! It wasn't a full-on golf game, but an eighteen hole Texas Scramble social event sponsored by my employer's Social Club. And thankfully we had power carts... otherwise I don't think that I could have walked the entire course in the heat. My drives were really good... other than the simple fact that most of them pulled to the right. The lessons I took before my surgery made a huge difference... the only problem being that I haven't figured out how to compensate for the damage to my right shoulder, hence the near constant drift to the right. I tried a couple of adjustments to my grip and the drives started to straighten out. I think I will need to go back to the Pro at Sturgeon for some advice on how to straighten out the drives for real. And, my putting needs serious work.

Oh, and yes, today I am in some discomfort... heh, heh, heh....

On Wednesday Gail went to one of the contract Canada Post postal outlets (Shoppers Drug Mart) to mail a parcel to the UK... at a cost of $30.00. On Thursday, the local Canada Post postal carrier delivered the package BACK TO US! Can you believe it?! Gail paid $30.00 just so Canada Post could sort it overnight and deliver it to the return address! It really is no wonder that people are not prepared to use Canada Post, preferring the various courier services instead.

We just heard back from my GP re: Tuesday's CT Scan. I tell ya, he's just gotta have a word with his receptionist. She called the house, got Gail on the phone and told her that the good Doctor wants to see me on the 25th of the month to review the results. The receptionist then went on to say that he wants to see me sooner than that, so she will be monitoring cancellations, just in case. So, when Gail phoned to let me know, she was definitely a wee bit wound up. Now really, how much trouble would it have been to say something to the effect that the Doctor has the CT results and is ready to review them with you; we've scheduled an appointment for the 25th, but I'll see if I can't get you in sooner by watching for cancellations. Far less scary, yes?

Tall Ships...

2008-08-12T21:40:00.005-06:00

Welcome to Liverpool... this first shot was taken just outside of the old Town Hall, looking away from the docks. It was taken back in July, but if you review the July entries in the blog, you will notice that I had trouble loading images on more than one occasion. Tonight, they seemed to work...

I took the train from Southport to Liverpool so I could wander around the Wellington dock and have a look at the taller ships that were involved in the Liverpool Tall Ships Races.

An interesting shot of the Wellington basin... marred only by the One Way sign. Now, was that sign for the boats or the pedestrians?

Just to give you a sense of scale, look at the previous photo, then at this one. They are of the same rigging... the dark blobs in the photo above are the same sailors in the photo below...

It was a blustery morning... but a very satisfying walk around for me.

CT Scans, Missing Cats, Impromptu BBQ's and stuff...

2008-08-12T12:57:00.004-06:00

This morning was a wet one... it seems to have been drizzling most of the night.

The CT scan was the one booked by my GP intended to keep an eye on my innards... on a couple of hot spots that the PET scan identified. This was not one of my throat; we will have to wait for my oncologist, whom I see on Aug. 19, to decide if we get another CT for that.

The CT was done without intravenous injection of dye(s), but there was a quart of water tinted (or is that 'tainted') with another dye solution. They did prep me for the intravenous, but the first scans were clear enough that the supervising radiologist didn't feel that the intravenous dyes would make a huge difference. Eh. So I sat around in my hospital gown, drank the tainted water, had the series of shots taken, and was at work before 11 am. My GP will call when/if there's something to discuss.

The cat still hasn't come back. I'm not really expecting him to, to tell the truth. There has been way too much activity with foxes and coyotes in and around the condo complex for comfort. That's the problem with living this close to a protected nature reserve, I suppose...

Sunday evening we ended up with 13 for dinner. It started off with Jennifer wanting to have a family dinner, which then grew into her wanting to bring four friends. Kim and Duane both made it. And we invited Nancy and John, and then called my brother, Paul, who was on his own for the past week, and serendipity brought Deb to the doorstep earlier in the day, so she, too, stayed. It wasn't anything fancy, in the end... just burgers, beans, potato salad, green salad, corn-on-the-cob, meringues and strawberries with whipped cream for dessert, and way too much wine. The number of bottles I found after the fact was a little surprising...

Oh, and I did eat... quite a bit, actually. It only seemed to make up for not having eaten earlier in the day. I just cannot seem to gain any weight.

Gail is so intent on some sort of life in Spain in the not-so-distant future that I backed down last night, and told her to go ahead and book us into Spanish language classes in the University's adult education program. Leaving this country to go live in another gives me some 'concern'... but, hey, its something for Gail to look forward to, and we know that she is in desperate need of some attainable, but challenging goals. It just feels like a bit of a step backwards... my ancestors left Europe centuries ago. Why am I thinking about returning? Shouldn't we be moving forward? Like to Mars, or some place? Well, Spain does have the best Goya collections, some really fabulous architecture, some decent wines, and Italy and France are right next door, within driving distance, and then there is the Mediterranean... if I can just figure out how to afford the boat I want...

I also suspect that, if we do move to Spain, we'll have a lot more visitors than we tend to get in Edmonton... and that would be a good thing (hint to all you old friends and family members).

2008-08-07T12:11:00.003-06:00

Oddly enough the recent battle with cancer has resulted in more planning for the future, rather than less... we have spoken with people who are focused on 'taking it one day at a time'. For us, it has become about finding a through line to retirement and what I can only refer to as 'contentment'.

Gail is completely reevaluating her career strategy. In an ideal world, she will retire in 6 years. Also, in that ideal world, she will suddenly rediscover job satisfaction. Will she be able to do both? I don't know for sure, but I do know that she needs the job satisfaction thing worked out really soon...

My window for retirement is still floating... kinda depends on Gail's plans... although to maximize my earning potential, I probably should go for another 12 years. Of course, a complete meltdown in the economy (either the global one, or my own) will keep me working longer... as long as the work is meaningful, I can't see why not.

One thing that I do know is that Gail is quite insistent that we do not retire in Edmonton... she's just about had all she can take of the winters here. So that means a move... and there has to be significant water involved, so that means either to the West Coast, or to Spain...

Yes, Spain. The seed of this particular idea was planted by her younger sister, and seems to be sprouting at an alarming rate. I really don't know how good or bad an idea it is yet. I've started doing some of the research. It is certainly a good deal less expensive to live in Spain than it is in the UK. I just can't see us retiring to the UK...

On balance, location is not that important to me... quality of life is the most important thing. If we can stretch our pension monies more by being in Spain, well then maybe Spain it should be.

Now my ideal scenario for retirement is based on an idea that was first described to me by Scott... a good friend living in the Greater Vancouver area. His basic idea is to encourage a core group of friends to take up residence in one small area, establishing a 'neighbourhood' of sorts. As we get older, then, our friends would be close, and easily visited. As we lose our faculties, sharing the necessary driving and chores among households would be easier, with no one having to travel great distances to see or help out some one else in the 'neighbourhood'. Obviously its the way we used to live before urban sprawl made the cities so tough for the elderly to survive well in. It is the distances that cut them off from that very important social interaction that helps to keep us all youthful.

So, to expand on that idea, why not pull our resources together and buy a four storey apartment building and condo-ize it. If we, as a group (and the group is yet to be determined) bought a building with 12 or 16 apartments, then renovated to six or eight units, did the paperwork properly, we could establish our own little community in one location. It could be an apartment building, or a renovated warehouse, or even just acquiring enough units in a newer 'sunset' village. Writing the correct condo bylaws would protect us over time... from our families, ourselves, and each other. The only real disadvantage to this sort of condo/co-op is the constant proximity. Establishing parameters, and barriers, to ensure that we didn't all get sick of each other, living in each other's back pockets that way, would be essential to its success. And really, we only have to worry about one generation... us... 'cause the next people to move into the building wouldn't necessarily be friends, to begin with. And the condo bylaws would be structured in such a way as to dictate a selection process for who can buy in after we start to drop out...

Can this idea be ported to a Spanish environment? Yes, it could... but it strikes me that the number of our friends that would want to make that move may be fairly low... How 'bout Costa Rica? Or Mexico? Nah... Gail is so set on Spain...

2008-08-06T14:47:00.002-06:00

Benjamin Disraeli once said in a speech that "change is inevitable", and that "change is a constant". The challenge is for us, as individuals or as a society, is to grow with the change. And a big part of the growth associated with change is 'acceptance', or at least being able to acknowledge the change and work with it, while still moving forward.

Okay, so I'm not entirely sure that I'm rising to the challenge. The cancer has forced certain changes into my life, into my ways of doing things, into my perceptions of things. I'm supposed to grow along with those changes... but I fear that I am falling behind. In so many ways I resent those changes, and I resist!

Oh, dear... today I'm not a very happy camper...

2008-08-04T19:26:00.005-06:00

I've been trying to upload some photos of the Tall Ships that I took in Liverpool, but the blogger system is rejecting them for some reason... I'll have a quick bash at 'em and try to figure out what's doing on...

Its been a nice weekend for me... kinda quiet, though.

Saturday, while Jennifer and a friend were in Calgary at the zoo and then having lunch with my sister, I got on my motorcycle, and fighting horrendous head winds, drove out to Lake Wabumum and back. Interesting experience. I thought my bike was a difficult ride until I started passing other riders who had had to pull over to the side to rest from the buffeting they were taking. And the darn thing was brilliant on gas... I'm fairly confident that it will be an okay thing to try a longer ride now.

On Sunday, I picked up my older brother and drove the convertible to Calgary to have lunch with the same sister. Nice drive down, nice visit with her, but really annoying lunch. The food was great (Kane's Harley Diner), but I just couldn't eat it... dry mouth syndrome got in the way again. The drive back was going well until one of the Alberta Sheriffs spoiled it by deciding I was going too fast. Damn. Speeding ticket. Damn.

Today, Monday, has been a quiet one. Reading, used the hot tub for a bit, did a bit of grocery shopping... and found some newer gluten free protein bars to try. Every little bit helps, eh?

Gail flies home from the UK tomorrow...

2008-08-01T09:08:00.003-06:00

Wow... its been a few days since I last wrote. Sorry 'bout that...

I arrived home on Tuesday evening, on time... the flight was a good one. Air Canada can be so good, why do they have to make the domestic flights such a challenge?

I sat beside a young woman from the UK who is on a temporary work visa in Canada; an estimator with a big UK engineering firm who has been secunded to ATCO to help on the construction of their contribution to the Alberta power transmission grid. She was quite excited and quizzed me about Edmonton and the surrounding communities. She's here for 3 years...

Home was pretty much the way we left it... Jennifer has been looking after the place. The only notable exception is that the cat seems to have wandered off... hasn't been back in over a week. I spoke with by-law enforcement, but they have no record of having picked up a ginger tomcat. I beginning to suspect that either the foxes or the coyotes got him...

I was back to work first thing Wednesday... one of the assignments I was hoping for is still on hold, but there is more work to be at the current client site. Part of what I need to do needs some research, so I've been spending the afternoons at home, in the garden, reading.

Just a bit of a teaser with a photo from atop Warwick Castle... Unfortunately most of the images that I have with me are on digital video, so its going to take a bit of editing to get things into the blog. Once Gail gets home with the other camera, I'll fill in the gaps with stills about the places we went and the things we saw...

I am being very conscious of what and when I eat. I'm not totally convinced that I'm maintaining the calorie counts, but I'm definitely aware and trying.

I am only a bit jet lagged... I'm pretty much back into the old sleep patterns.