The Symptoms -- NasoPharyngeal Carcinoma

I think that it was my uncle who asked me if, now that I know what I know, if I can identify the symptoms that might have helped the doctors find this thing earlier. I don't really know for sure, but here are the signs that I now recognize:

• the lump in my neck (pretty damned obvious, eh? But not necessarily limited to this particular cancer.)
• my sinuses have felt 'full' for most of this spring and summer. On occasion, when I blew my nose really hard, I got a bit of bloody yuck... though this isn't necessarily an indicator. I live in a very dry climate which can account for the crap that I sometimes find in my tissues. It sometimes feels like an effort to breathe normally.
• there have been more low grade sore throats in the top of my throat. I had put this down to speaking too much with out appropriate lubrication (I am a trainer on occasion).
• my right ear has felt like it was a) full of ear wax and b) on the verge of an infection for months.
• my right ear has been secreting a oily, waxy film on occasion.
• my eyesight has gotten 'weird' and much worse... kinda fuzzy at times, with a tendency to blur/double when I go into a daydreaming stare. My reading glasses are now a necessity, and I'm seriously considering getting distance lenses as well.
• I have also been having a bit of an issue with 'gag reflex', which I'm not sure is linked, but I do intend to ask the specialist.

None of these items, with the exception of the lump on my neck, would be enough to send me running to the doctor. I have suffered from nasal allergies for most of my life... it felt a little odd in retrospect, not like I needed serious antihistamines, but just needed a pipe cleaner to scour the sinuses. Same thing with the ear; I just wanted to have it flushed, scraped or something to remove the irritation. The eyes did drive me to an optometrist who gave me reading glasses but didn't notice the other blurries, so I do put that symptom down to the cancer. The sight issues started showing up at about the same time as the lump.

Pathologist's Report--Nasopharyngeal

As promised, here is the basic text of the pathologists report on the needle biopsy of the lump in my neck that precipitated all of this:

Clinical History: Other related clinical data: Right anterior triangle level II-III, 3-cm firm mobile mass, right anterior neck.

Diagnosis:
Right anterior triangle of the neck, aspirate:
Malignant Cells, consistent with metastatic tumor, favour primary Nasapharyngeal Carcinoma.

Microscopic Description:
The specimen is adequate for evaluation of a lymph node in that there are a small number of lymphocytes at the edges of the smears; however, there are also a moderate number of groups of poorly differentiated cells, some of which show suggestion of squamoid differentiation. There are few giant cells. The cytology is consistent with metastatic malignancy, likely nasopharyngeal in origin; however, a lung primary should also be included in the differential diagnosis.

The rest of the document is the health system's gobbledygook...

Nasopharyngeal Carcinoma; damn!

On Wednesday, September 19, 2007 at about 4:30 pm, Dr. Olson, in a very straightforward, no nonsense manner informed me that a biopsy of a lymph node in my neck reveals that I am harbouring a Nasopharyngeal Carcinoma. He was gracious enough to give me a copy of the pathologist's report (which I will try to input at a later time when I have it with me). Good Doctor, that one...

So far we've done the CT scan of the neck and chest, and we have an appointment with a Dr. Williams at the University of Alberta scheduled for Tuesday, October 2, 2007 at 11:00 am. We were contacted by Dr. Naiker's (the GP) office yestereday to discover if an MRI had been scheduled yet. I told Susan (gee, I like her!) that we were unaware of an appointment. She is going to order one as soon as possible... we should hear today.

I keep using the 'we' pronoun because this isn't just about me at the moment. Gail, my darling wife, is in this with me. In ways that I can't articulate right now, I think that it is harder on her. But she is my nearly constant companion, my shadow, my lover and best friend. Our daughters are also affected. And my family, and Gail's family, and our friends, and the people I work with... There doesn't seem to be any casual bystanders, well, expect maybe for the neighbours who haven't got a clue as to what's going on...

I had originally intended to play this one very close to my chest and let as few people as possible know for as long as possible. I was dissuaded of this very early on (hours!), and in some ways I'm glad that we have told the number of folks that we have. It should make it easier in the long run.

Its been a while...

Its been a while since I took the time to write something here... obviously, eh? Wow, eight months! I'd love to be as disciplined as those who find the time to write every day, but the real trouble is that the living of my life tends to get in the way of some of the things that I want to accomplish. The 'discipline' part of it means that this activity needs to become an integral part of the living, and not just an add on. Those of you who manage a blog every day will understand what I mean by that... you set a certain amount of time aside each day to bang away at your keyboards (and probably at a regular time). Some of you are more than just amateur blogger/journalists; its your job and you approach it as such. Dedicated hobbyists do the same thing... you work at it. And then there are those like me who can't quite decide if the time is better spent here or with family, friends, or just lounging around.

Now to be entirely fair, the last few months have been very busy for me, which is probably more of a reason that I should have taken the time to write, but... as I alluded to in the previous section, life tends to get in the way of living it.

So, since I last wrote I have taken two university level drawing classes, one university level Business and Systems Design class (I needed the refresher 'cause I've developed way too many bad habits), attended a week long conference in Vegas, flew out to the coast and got my Day Skipper/Basic Cruising designation, and changed jobs, attended a week long conference-cum-orientation-cum-indoctrination for the new job! I'd say that most of my free time had been pretty much spoken for, wouldn't you?

Oh, and did I tell you...

Did I ever mention that my youngest daughter is getting married in two days? With everything that is happening, has happened, it really is no wonder that this blog has sat idle for nearly 3 months.

I'll update next week after the wedding...

...a strategy for attaining nirvana...

Skating on the thin ice of dreams and an unorthodox approach towards nirvana, I have identified three goals. These are three things that I desperately want to do before too much longer.

Its funny how, as my darling wife confronts her mortality using her skirmishes with menopause as the locus and focus, I am being forced to address those hidden desires and dreams which mean something to me... so, these are the three goals:

1. learn to sail and then captain a 40' +/- from Victoria to Mexico/Costa Rica and back again.
2. take an extended gourmet cooking class: either a Cordon Bleu or the two week intensive program offered at NAIT.
3. learn to paint portraits, properly.

These are my goals going into my fifties. Whatcha think?

So far, I have actually enrolled in a drawing class at the U of A to solidify my drawing skills... and those who know me, know that I can draw, after a fashion, so I should be quite successful in this one. From the drawing class, I will take a painting class, and then onto the portraiture classes...

I have been TOLD that I WILL take a swimming class this fall at the local pool. I WILL NOT start sailing classes without it, or so I'm told. This is really too bad... I could have taken a couple of weekend classes out at Wabamum even this late in the summer. (heavy sigh inserted here) There are some things one must do to give comfort to those who love us.

The cooking will have to wait... I keep getting thrown out of the kitchen every time I try to make a bold move. So, the books, the magazines will have to suffice until I can come up with the wherewithal to pay for the classes.

And, it appears, I will be taking a yoga class this fall, as well. Don't ya just love it when someone else embraces part of your dream and then builds on it for you?