More Political Duplicity

My gawd... they're all behaving badly.

The Conservatives wiretapped a NDP conference call, and have released only parts of it to the media.

The NDP appear to have been negotiating with the Bloc to form a coalition for some time now... and the first time they had discussions on a coalition government was with Stephen Harper and the Bloc when Martin had his minority Liberal government.

Holy cow... the 'undemocratic' formation of a coalition government is a page right of out Harper's own playbook. No wonder he's so upset!

I think that the Conservatives should really rethink whether or not Harper should stay or go. Personally, I think that I'd get behind Jim Prentice...

More thoughts on the Political...

I would just like to share some thoughts...

Mr. Flaherty's 'economic update' was a piece of flummery delivered and defended with arrogance. There is an emerging climate of fear out there... yes, it is largely unwarranted, but we all know what the mind of the 'mob' can do with the smallest goading. Generally, the 'mob' had no expectations. Unfortunately, Mr. Flaherty delivered to those expectations.

John Baird's attitude on 'As It Happens' last evening was equally arrogant, and a wee bit revisionist. He is generally such a well spoken man, I was a bit surprised at points. I listened to the program and was alternately galled and incensed.

Most of the people I have spoken to/emailed have the perception that the tax incentives offered as 'lasting initiatives for stimuli rather than following the American approach of cash injections' is based on tax cuts that happened or were promised long before a crisis was announced. Most people I spoke with were hard pressed to identify anything new.

The 25% change in the redemption of RIFFs is not enough to make seniors comfortable with the fate of their investments.

Cutting the discretionary spending of MPs constricts a source of revenue for some Canadians and the companies they work for. Not very stimulating.

The spectre of another $300 million election should not be viewed with such revulsion. What an interesting way to inject $300 million back into the economy. And isn't that what people want: some sort of stimuli? Maybe an election this time will get more voter participation and a clearly mandated government will emerge.

There needs to something concrete for the manufacturing sector as soon as possible.

The auto industry needs to be spanked for inefficiencies, and then given an incentive to do better. The Conservative Party and the bureaucratic spin doctors and publicists need to better publicize the letter that was sent to the Detroit automakers... very few people seem to know that its out there.

Telling a unionized workforce that one of the intrinsic rights of collective bargaining has been suspended was kinda dumb. Organized Labour nationally will get behind the NDP again, or maybe even the Liberals to protect against a domino effect that might further erode workers' rights.

Coming off an election where the mobilized Arts Community was at least partially responsible for the Conservative Party not gaining a majority, it seems a little vindictive, and short sighted to have slapped them by wiping out international travel/shipping subsidies administered by External Affairs, shutting down the Portrait Gallery bidding process, to name just a couple of the programs that have been quietly dismantled since the election.

Mr. Harper did promise to work more closely with the Opposition Parties. That could not possibly have happened given the week's events. The media (and those who didn't vote Conservative) are having a field day with what's been going on this week.

The Opposition Parties are starting to prove that they are able to 'play nice' together. The media (and those who didn't vote Conservative) are having a field day with what's been going on since Thursday.

The media (and those who didn't vote Conservative) have been able to interpret Mr. Harper's comment "The opposition has every right to defeat the government, but Stephane Dion does not have the right to take power without an election." as a narcissistic response. The misguided retort that I have heard most is; "...but does Stephen Harper have the right to hold on to power without owning the popular vote?". Slightly over 165,000 less people voted for the Conservative Party overall, than they did in 2006. Yes, less people voted this time, which may account for part of the discrepancy, so that may be a bit of a 'red herring'. But the Conservative Party only achieved 38% of the popular vote. That means that 62% of the voting public question whether the Conservative Party should govern.

Mr. Harper was seen to be 'playing politics' when he broke the Conservative Party brokered law on election timing. Not very 'democratic'.

How can anyone really call the formation of a coalition government 'undemocratic' in light of the way so many parliaments work around the world? Think particularly of Israel's Knesset as a prime example. It gets done all the time... with varying degrees of success. In Canada's case, a coalition government would represent 62% of the popular vote. I believe that to be a majority.

Poking the Opposition Parties with a sharp stick by removing the subsidy was inappropriate, especially after having passed other measures to restrict political party fundraising during the last parliament. Mixed messaging from Mr. Flaherty and 'government sources' about whether the subsidies to the political parties would be part of the ways and means vote doesn't help.

All parties should be aware of and use Ms. May's popularity; her party could be a valuable grass roots ally going forward. A fourth viable party can work to the advantage of the Conservative Party, or the Liberals, or the NDP. It kinda depends who taps into their energy and growing power base first.

My advice to Mr. Harper and to the rest of the Conservative caucus; for the short term, stop overtly playing politics and govern appropriate to the needs of the country. The Conservative Party stands to lose the privilege.

Reflect, reconcile, consult and then act. But do it quickly.

J.'s Surgery

J. had her surgery yesterday. Everything seems to be just fine... she's as annoyed about everything as she ever was. The real challenge with J. and the surgery is that, as a nurse, she knows too much... it contributed to the anxiety. We don't have the final results, or a statement from the doctors yet, but are expecting a phone call today with details.

Certainty...

We've had a death in the family... one of my father's sisters passed away during heart surgery. It leaves a huge hole in my father's family. And it has made me realize that that entire generation of my family is heading for the threshold... its an odd thing to contemplate. I suppose I've been in denial about all of this, in spite of my father's cancer (hell, I've been in denial about my own!) and the loss of my mother's oldest brother (one of the younger boys passed some time ago). Somehow, one just assumes that they will always be there, an assumption that is so easy given how infrequently I see them.

Politics...

I am solidly behind the effort of the NDP and the Liberals to cobble together a coalition government... it certainly made the Conservatives sit up and take notice! They have reversed their position on hobbling the other parties through the removal of subsidies. Yay! Maybe the Greens will live to fight another day.

And just maybe the Conservatives will get off their ideological hobby horse and come up with some real stimulus ideas for the economy.

In the event that the NDP and Liberals do put together a coalition government, I would nominate Ed Broadbent to act as the interim PM... but he'd have to have a seat to do that, wouldn't he? Well, then, failing that, what about giving it to one of the two independents? No? Then who? And that will be the toughest challenge facing the creation of a coalition government...

Its been a year...

It was one year ago today that I underwent surgery for an oropharyngeal carcinoma that was located in my right tonsil.

What they did:
The surgery was one of the ugliest, most invasive procedures that I could have imagined being performed on me. It involved removal of the tumor and a clearance margin of 4 centimeters (or was it 8 centimeters?) around the tumor site, and the reconstruction of that area.

There were at least two teams working on me, and the operation lasted almost eight hours. You know, I just realized that I’ve forgotten how much time they actually took. They had given us estimates that ranged from 8 to 14 hours… I need to look that up again.

Okay, so I can’t give you a sequence to the surgery because of the two teams, but here’s a summary of what they did;
· They popped out a tooth at the front centerline of my jaw. Then they split/broke the jaw at that point. They cut down through the lip and through the floor of the mouth so that the jaw swung open sideways; the technique is called a mandibular swing.
· They then pulled the tongue forward and removed the tumor and the tonsil. They took, as part of the clear margin, the right lingual tonsil and a portion of the base of the tongue.
· It’s not good to leave huge gaps in the structure of the mouth and throat, so they filled in the area with a piece of muscle taken out of my left forearm. Why the forearm muscle? Apparently it’s been proven to ‘learn’ the functions of the tongue segment that it’s replacing.
· They also took a chunk of the radial artery in my left forearm to rebuild the vascular structure at the back of the throat/tongue to ensure blood flow.
· A skim of the left thigh skin was taken to replace what was taken from the forearm.
· They transplanted at least one saliva gland to a position on the lower jaw to save it from the radiation treatments. Radiation will incapacitate saliva glands. A platinum wire was placed in the jaw to mark its spot; basically a ‘do not radiate’ sign for the radiology oncologist.
· They did a neck dissection and removed all the lymph nodes from both sides of my neck. When they did the dissection, they had to 'manipulate' the spinal accessory nerve.
· They put it all back together again. And yes, they put a plate into my jaw to hold it together. And no, it doesn’t trigger airport metal detectors.

Compared to last year;
On the morning of the surgery, I weighed in at 208 lbs. This morning I weigh 161.2 lbs. For reference, I weighed 165 lbs. on my wedding day twenty years ago. So, in a year, I have a net loss of 46.8 lbs. Not a weight loss program that I’d suggest. It took me twenty years to amass that much weight; its not going back on quickly.

In theory, I’m still the same height. The challenge is that I slouch dreadfully. The damage to the spinal accessory nerve has caused the right shoulder to pull forward. I still tend to let my head droop. Working at a desk all day is contributing to the droop and the slouch.

My hair has returned, sort of. It seems really thin at the forehead hairline. Well, maybe it was that thin prior to the surgery/chemo… I had a quick look at a bad photo of me at K.’s wedding, and it did look a little thin. But, what hair has come back is darker, and the hair on the back of my head is really wavy. Too bad it wasn’t that wavy when I had long hair twenty years ago. And the less grey is good!

My beard, on the other hand, is really causing me some consternation. The beard is thinner on the right side of my face than it is on the left side. Both sides are thinner than it used to be. My mustache is fine. I have grown a goatee to hide the chin scar, which doesn’t look too terrible, if you don’t get too close. The beard that I can grow is almost entirely white. I mostly stay clean shaven, with the exception of the mustache and goatee. I do miss my beard.

The skin on my face and neck tends to be dry, much drier that it ever was before. The area of my eyebrows has become seriously dry to the point that I spend extra time rubbing moisturizer into the brows to stop the flaking.

Inside the head, things are definitely different, and weirder, and I’m not talking about how my mind now works. My teeth are migrating, compensating for the single tooth that was taken out of the centre of my lower jaw. In fact the gap has closed considerably. The bone break no longer ‘hurts’, but I can still notice it when I bite down hard. Chewing is so much easier now, although when I open wide, it still is not as wide as pre-surgery. Apparently that is because of the radiation rebound effect on the musculature. So I try to remember to stretch regularly, usually while driving which is probably very disconcerting for the drivers in opposing traffic.

There is some sort of muscle/tissue problem inside the mouth, along the right side. The area of the mouth floor is tight and not as flexible as the left side. But, remember, the surgery took a chunk of the back, right side of the tongue, and they did actually split the jaw and slice through the tissues in the floor of my mouth somewhere.

And mentioning the tongue… it has about 80% of the flexibility it did a year ago. It also feels a bit shorter, in that I can’t quite reach the areas on my teeth and gums that I used to be able to. It’s pretty scary how much you use the tongue, and for what. It’s not just to speak. The tongue plays a huge part in how you chew and swallow. And it autonomically (no, not automatically) wipes debris form your teeth and gums. The continued lack of flexibility prevents me from reaching all the way back to swipe my back teeth to clean them. And it feels weird all down the right edge of the tongue to the tip, sorta like the electrical charge that one feels when touching a 9 volt battery to your tongue to test it, only much less intense. But all in all, the tongue is so much better than even two months ago. I have high hopes for its near total recovery. There’s just the issue of the dryness.

The dryness of the tongue, which does begin to affect my speech after a time, is the direct result of the dry mouth syndrome brought on by the radiation damage to the saliva glands. They will never repair themselves, so I’m resigned to working with the one that was transplanted. I am experimenting with the drug pilocarpine to stimulate the last gland to Herculean effort. It will never be enough, but hey, every little bit will help.

Without the saliva, eating is a chore. I take a sip of liquid with each bite that needs to be chewed. And then I can swallow. Yes, the swallowing is pretty darned good, at about 85% of the original capability. Take a look, if you can find it, at the blog entry with the fluoroscopes of the swallowing reflex. It really isn’t as bad as I complain about… if I am diligent about the liquids. I eat with water and milk. Fruit juices tend to dry things out dramatically. Wine, well, it depends, but wine tends to have the same effect as fruit juice. Scotch, for some reason, is just fine. Thank goodness. But you don’t drink that stuff a tumbler at a time, unfortunately, which might help to give me the confidence to sing in public. At the moment I don’t sing as much as I croak. I don’t see that changing. But I can speak, and so long as I keep the tongue, and therefore the mouth hydrated I can speak for a long time.

The only other internal effect is my hearing. Now the change to my hearing was not as a result of the surgery, which in theory is what today’s lengthy note is about, but was a casualty of the chemotherapy. Cisplatin, the chemo drug, wiped out my ability to hear a particular frequency range, and gave me tinnitus, most pronounced in my left ear. I have hopes that the range will return; it’s already started coming back. But I suspect that I am stuck with the tiny glockenspiel and the constant low level white noise.

Back to the exterior: Complete range of motion in my neck has returned, although radiation rebounding continues to tighten up the tissues. I am numb in a band that extends from a point the size of a finger tip just under the left ear, forward under the chin at about three fingers width and around the neck under the right ear where the numbest flares up into my scalp to about three fingers width above, and including the right ear. It also covers an area out onto my right shoulder to the top of my arm at about a hands width. This is a major improvement! And mobility of the shoulder/arm is good and getting better.

Scarring will always be an issue. Vanity will determine how much of an issue at various points in my life. The doctors have said that the radiation and chemo therapies have effectively aged me by ten years. And yet I’ve been told that I actually look like I’m ten years younger. Okay, so we like that kind of stroking and we work with moisturizer to keep the skin looking its best and try other strategies to cope with the scars. The centre-of-the-jaw scar is covered by my goatee. The scars on my neck from the dissection will eventually get lost in an old man’s neck, but for now they’re really not that noticeable. The asymmetrical bulge of the transplanted saliva gland is the most annoying thing. I must admit that I have started wearing ties a lot, so my shirts are buttoned at the collar, saving our clients from discomfort.

My right forearm has the ugliest scar. It’s a three inch by six inch rectangle of tissue missing from the area where one wears their watch. Its just plain ugly. And the long thin scar that runs up to my elbow joint pointing out where they borrowed the vein from is almost as bad. I never did like short sleeved shirts…

But I almost always forget the scar on my thigh where they skimmed the skin to rebuild the forearm with ‘cause its virtually non-existent at this point.

And I’m thin. Really thin. Did I mention that?

Results

The meeting with our GP went very well yesterday. The radiologist's report basically says that the 'mass' on the right kidney hasn't changed since we started monitoring it last April/May and therefore it is likely a cyst, or something else quite innocuous. But of course the radiologist covered their butt by adding an oddly worded disclaimer suggesting that there was a very remote possibility that it could be some sort of carcinoma. Our GP pointed out that I would know if there was a real problem... there would be a change in my body chemistry that I would notice. Kidney related 'stuff' is not subtle. He'll schedule another CT for a year from now.

Alright! Take a deep breath, and on we go.

I did ask for something to offset the nose drip... I also asked for something for the tongue fungus. He came through with a couple of things that should help. I tell ya, its a good thing to have a drug plan.

Its starting to look like I do have something 'extra' growing on the tip of my nose. He was very concerned, at first, when I brought it to his attention... then broke out laughing upon closer examination. He thinks I've got a wart... Well, as funny as it seems to have a wart on the end of my nose, he's not taking any chances. He has referred me to a dermatologist to have it excised and analyzed. If its not a wart, it'll probably be a basil cell carcinoma, one of the least problematic of the skin cancers.
Tomorrow is the one year anniversary of the original surgery... time for an inventory.

...and then there's today.

Its November in Edmonton... but you'd never know it. Today is predicted to be +7 degrees C. We have no snow. It was bright and sunny for a couple of hours earlier, but a pleasant cloud cover is settling in... and yes, cloud cover can be pleasant... thin, bright, and thick in places to give it some texture, and darker bits, letting sunshine slip through the gaps... pleasant. The quality of light is so much better than it was a week or so ago. I gotta start carrying a camera with me so I can post timely photos...

The experiment with salagen/pilocarpine is progressing nicely. I think that I'm starting to feel some of the side effects which means that it is building up in my system and we should know soon if it's doing me any good. Side effects? I get a light layer of perspiration on my back within an hour of taking a pill; my nose drips; my bladder sudden fills up. Just minor physical 'discomforts', but I can cope with this if it means more saliva. And I have observed that I am using less of the artificial saliva.

This afternoon I have an appointment with my GP (Dr. Naiker) to discuss the results of the CT scan we did a couple of weeks ago. I've got a whole list of stuff to ask him about which includes the nose drip, the nose tip (there's something new there that shouldn't be), thighs, knees and hip pain, and bring him up to date on the pilocarpine.

I did check the 'visitor' log earlier this morning and discovered that someone from Michaels visited twice (I got the ip address, not their business card). I haven't heard a word from them, but I'm pleased to know that they appear to be following up on my complaint. Now it is totally possible that what hit the blog was an automated search engine... I know that some smart IT guys out there do that for their employers; they run an deep dive Internet search against their corporate names to pull up any new references. Its not unlike a 'clipping service' where you can pay an organization to scan newspapers, magazines and then all the online sources for articles about you or your product, and basically build you a scrapbook of the results. I believe that it was an internal Michaels' search because most of the commercial clipping services use their own names, or no names, in an attempt to offer their clients some level of anonymity.

Just say NO! to Michaels custom framing...

Just a bit of a rant for you today... do NOT use Michaels--The Arts and Crafts Store custom framing department.

Towards the end of August we took a beautiful print of Klimt's 'The Kiss', which we had picked up at the Tate Gallery, Albert Dock, in Liverpool, to Michaels--The Arts and Crafts Store in north Edmonton to have it properly framed. We had a discount coupon in hand. Even after the discount, the pricing on the framing job was, in my mind, exorbitant. However, G. really, really wanted it done so I gave in, and we placed the order.

I wandered into an independent framing shop some weeks later, and just for the hell of it, asked for a quote. Even without the discount, and with a slightly better quality matte, the job would have been $100.00 cheaper... Okay. I shrugged it off by rationalizing that the guy was probably trying to impress me and get me to bring in loads of stuff to be done.

About a week later, we got a call from Michaels asking if it was okay to trim the edge of the print to make it fit. Well, yes. We remembered the original conversation where we had expressly said to trim the white border. In fact, we gave very clear instructions about all of that sort of thing, which was written on the work order...

Several weeks later, we called at Michaels to ask about the framing job. After the counter clerk pulled out the work order and rushed about for a few minutes, she came back to us empty handed. Oh, dear... the matte that had arrived was cut wrong, so they had to re-order. "Didn't anyone call you?" Uh, no. And we didn't have any idea that they needed to send out for the matte to be cut in the first place. There is a sizable assembly shop in the back, which can be seen from the counter. One would expect that the work was being done on site... especially given that we could see a worker fitting a canvas to a frame as we waited. However, it appears that matte cutting is not done on site. Odd. I shrugged.

Weeks went by. We called Michaels. Oh, yes, the matte was in and the job would be done really soon.

Wednesday we got a call asking if they could trim the print. Uh, yes. I just shake my head.

And then Friday we got the call that the finished job was ready. Our lives being as chaotic as they are, we didn't get to the store until after 3:00 pm yesterday. There was no one at the custom framing counter. Wait a minute. Saturday, and there's no one on the counter? There's got to be someone in the area. We could see a young woman working away in the shop area, assembling frames... so we got her attention. But she was not 'empowered' (my word, not hers) to find and give us our order. We needed to wait until counter staff came back. We waited for fifteen minutes while she checked the lunchroom, paged over the intercom, and finally put us on ignore and went back to work... There were two other customers who showed up, who also told of their three month delivery time horrors on simple jobs...

Eventually, the senior member of the counter staff did show up and without any fuss, walked directly to the wrapped, framed print and presented it to us, commenting on how lovely it was, and wanting to know how we got it from England without any creases... It does look lovely.

I went to hang it this morning and discovered that they attached the hanging wire (on the back of the frame) so that the print hangs SIDEWAYS! I couldn't believe it! I moved the wire myself. Maybe I should bill them for that.

And yes, I have sent an email to corporate head office complaining... not that that's going to do a lot of good. Head office is in Texas.

I normally don't have a problem with Michaels--The Arts and Crafts Store... G. and I use them a lot for different things, but I definitely have a problem with their custom framing department. This is the second time that I've used that service. They are slow, expensive (in spite of their 50 and 60 percent off coupons!) and their understanding of customer service is non-existent. Please, consider using an independent! At least an independent is interested in you as a customer, and might have a passing familiarity with famous art!

As a sidebar, I noticed yesterday that almost all of the cashiers at the Michaels in north Edmonton (137 Avenue) seemed to be lethargic and morose. I got the impression that Michaels is not a happy place to work.

Yesterday's Physio

Yesterday's appointment with the physio therapist at the Cross was very positive... I'm definitely making progress. My range of motion is within mere degrees of being back to what it was a year ago... which is not to say that it was 'normal' to begin with. Apparently I wasn't as flexible as I could have been. Too many years spent hunched over a keyboard, I guess. But, as I said, the range of motion is back, and with negligible pain at the extremes.

Strength is coming back into the all the right areas. We have adjusted my exercise list to include strength building moves with the stretch/mobility activities.

Thank goodness... that means that the majority of the impact to the spinal accessory nerve has largely been mitigated. I still have some numbness across the top of my shoulder, but control over the major groups is back. Now I just have to remember to stand up straight, and not slip into the more comfortable slouch. Breathing more deeply will help to support the more open chest and upright posture. I guess I need to seriously think about yoga and/or tai chi...

And just think how good things would be if I actually did the exercises as regularly as I should!

The blonde, the brunette and the vengeful redhead

Fiona Reid remains one of my favourite actors. She is currently playing in a production of Robert Hewett's 'The Blonde, The Brunette and the Vengeful Redhead' at the Citadel. We saw it last night and it was wonderful! The script is good. Fiona was brilliant... its a one-woman show where she plays seven different characters, ranging from a little boy to an old woman, with stops in-between at a misogynist, a lesbian doctor, a Russian immigrant tart, a middle aged meddler and an inadvertent murderer.

The idea behind the set was very good, but I question the execution of the final design. The 'shape' was awkward, but I can see what the designer was trying to do... The projections were only interesting. The idea, the concept was great, but the images projected seemed to feel like an afterthought, rather than an integrated part of the design and direction.. well, okay, in some cases the projections did advance the plot or complimented the script in some manner, but too many of them didn't seem to have enough thought. And definitely not enough effort put into the execution of the images. But the technology was well handled.

And, I didn't like the lighting design. There were one or two points where the lighting was good, but for the most part it was too much about making pretty patterns on the stage, and not enough about lighting Fiona properly. I really felt for Fiona as she tried to find her 'light', a hot spot for her face to be properly lit. I was also quite surprised by how badly the lighting changes flowed... I can't imagine that Fiona's timing was that different from when the cues were set. The set was essentially put together into a recognizable picket fence and a distorted house silhouette from the shards of a broken mirror; the mirrored surfaces could have been used to much greater effect. Generally, I was very disappointed in the lighting.

It was a great show, nevertheless, and one that I would recommend to anyone. Go ahead, spend the money!

On a more social note, we ran into Marilyn Ryan; nice lady. We also spent a few minutes speaking with Lorraine and John Price. Now that was fun. They look great, and project the old energy that I used to enjoy from both of them. John is at the University and really seems to enjoy being a 'mentor'; Lorraine has found a comfortable, and eminently workable rhythm for her department at the Citadel. They seem quite happy and content with themselves... rare, isn't it?

We also met up with Bill Heron for a few, brief moments. I really would like to sit and talk with him at great lengths, rather than these careening visits. I'm full of questions for him, and I know that he has a lot of questions for me. Trying to package our conversations into 5 minutes bursts isn't very satisfying for either of us... I'm still not comfortable 'hanging out' at the theatre, so I'm always trying to get away. We need to get together on neutral territory.

I am absolutely fascinated by the number of people out there who have no channel to reach their spouse/significant other during the day to do the mundane things, like plan their lives as a couple. I am trying to set up an evening at the Oilers hockey game, in the company box. I have invited members of the client team that we are currently working with... and it is astounding how few of them are able to get a yes/no commitment during the working day. What's even more astounding is discovering how many of them actually don't know how to reach the spouse except if its an emergency... very odd, from my perspective. I almost always know how and when I can reach G. for that sort of consultation...

And no, I'm not actually going to the game... we've got tickets for a play at The Citadel.

I'm about two weeks into using Salagen/pilocarpine in an attempt to stimulate saliva production. I can't tell yet whether or not its actually working. The doctor did warn me that I might not reap the benefits for up to two months... and then I may not find any real benefit at all. I do know that I am much more aware of my saliva production. I think that I am noticing a very slight difference, but then again, it could simply be the awareness that enhances the perception... I may be stimulating production just by being focused on it. Unfortunately, the level of production is still not enough to eat without constant sipping of liquid. And worse still, the sipping of wine while eating just compounds the problem! Water and milk... boring!

I finally gave in and phoned the doctor for an appointment to discuss last week's CT Scan... there can't be anything too terribly wrong or he would have been on it immediately after getting the radiologist's report...

Another bleak autumn day. The quality of light is disconcerting, giving everything a grayish feeling to it, quite appropriate as the plants and animals start to hunker down for another winter. Its one of those days that make me wish for snow to bring some brightness to it all. All the browns and greys out there with the now bare trees, in this quality of light, is depressing!

I've been hiding in the basement office, supposedly studying for yet another exam. It seems like there's always another exam... Instead of spending all the time studying Service Strategy, I've been tinkering with the website, and researching different web hosting organizations. I need to come up with a decent domain name before moving the website, however... and I just haven't been able to settle on anything clever, yet appropriate.

And, I've been re-reading this blog to remind myself of what's gone on in the last year. Wow. We're coming up to the one year anniversary of the cancer surgery. Wow.

I've also been reviewing how people have been finding this blog. I use a web-based tracker, SiteManager, to keep track of where readers are from (can't see who, just the where and when) and how they got to this blog. Of course its mostly family and friends who were given the address, with a very few who linked in from the website. Not enough from the website, though, which is one reason to move it. At the moment its tucked too far behind the Shaw Internet DMZ, and doesn't get crawled by the Internet search engines, so its time to move it to somewhere that the search bots can get at it. But the other way people have been finding the blog is through google searches.

The most popular google searches that point eventually to this blog are, in no particular order:

• Dr. Akubutu's Mouthwash
• forearm flap (its the photos, apparently)
• quadroscopy
• portrait and Victoria, in combination... can't quite figure that one out

Lately I've found it rather odd knowing who is actually reading this drek... which is partially why I haven't written for the past couple of weeks. I've found it kinda disconcerting that certain family members are quoting from it... I find myself editing because of that... and waiting to write until I've got something to say that is totally innocuous.

Dumb, eh?

I do, however, enjoy the thought that friends who I don't speak with enough, in some cases not for years, check in occasionally. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I believe that the expectations of me (and this blog) are different...

Oh, well... ... on we go.

So, on Monday of this week I had another CT Scan of my kidneys, looking to ensure that that little bit of scar tissue hasn't grown, moved, or done anything else awkward. Its interesting to note that the radiologist has determined that the contrast dyes aren't needed; it was a really fast appointment this time. I expect to get the 'summons' from the doctor's office any day now to discuss the scan results. The simple fact that we've gone five days without the call is a good thing... no pressing need to tell me bad news. The flip side of the coin may be that the radiologists are too darned busy to read the scan and write up the results...

Oh, and I'm up three pounds. G. has been practicing her gluten-free baking and has found several really good recipes for breads, muffins, cinnamon buns that not only worked, but taste good. It helps that my swallow is much better, and that I've figured out a chew-drink-swallow-chew rhythm that feels okay. I'm less self conscious about eating in front of people...

G. is so much happier, bordering on content, since she re-organized her work life. Much less stress, more job satisfaction.

We did get notification just the other day that my Dad's PSAs (a blood test that tells you all sorts of things about the status of prostate health) have reached zero... which means that his prostate cancer is completely under control and he can stop with the hormone treatments. Yay! It certainly should make Mom's life easier...

On a political note; what the hell are the federal Conservatives thinking? They lost their shot at a majority (partly) because of the artists in this country who were angry at the cavalier attitude to the contribution of the arts to this country, only to turn around and blow off the same community with their bizarre announcement about the National Portrait Gallery. Idiots. The Alberta bids required no financial contribution from the federal coffers; all private money. It would have been a fabulous publicity angle to leverage downloading support for the arts onto the private sector! Idiots. And, they've pulled other funding for other projects in their electoral heartland that have angered the provincial Conservatives... Idiots. Is it any wonder that Premier Stelmach chose to go on his previously scheduled trade mission to Europe (huge trading partner; important initiative; billions of dollars at stake) and sent the Education Minister to the First Ministers' meeting? He didn't even think the meeting was worth diverting the Finance Minister for a day or two... And guess what? The outputs of that meeting were insubstantial... the bunch of them could have phoned it in. Makes Harper look silly, again. Idiots. Even George Bush is getting more traction with his inspired disasters. Idiots.